Agoraphobia diary: introduction

Warm greetings to you all. Some of you may remember a short trip I made by bike a couple of years ago, during which I stretched the boundaries of my agoraphobia. Today I’m starting a new challenge: the most demanding and complex journey I’ve ever made on my own. It will use all the skills I’ve slowly been working on throughout my life, including flying, cars, and trains (though I haven’t actually been on a train for many years). I’ll also be staying in 3 different locations, and having some painful hospital treatment, just to add an extra touch of excitement and exhaustion. As well as the agoraphobia, I also live with chronic fatigue, chronic depression, and chronic migraine, so the whole project will be taxing in a variety of different ways.

During this 7-day trip, I’ll do my very best to keep up with the daily blogs, but will also add a short, honest report on how things are going. So, to kick off, before I leave for the airport later this morning, here is today’s prayer, which is introduced by one of my very favourite quotations from the Bible:

Agoraphobia

Ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands (Isaiah 55:12; KJV).

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Lord,

I’ve suffered
All my life
From agoraphobia,

But now accept,
Embrace it,
Without pain.

I know that
It’s the product
Of my childhood,

For fear
Has shaped my body,
And my brain.

I live with it;
I’m not ashamed
To speak of it;

But manage it
As best I can,
With prayer;

So in one sense
I’m no longer
Agoraphobic,

For I do not suffer,
Now I’ve learned
To care.