agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, Prayer

Agoraphobia diary: day 2

Hello, friends. Well, after texting my son to explain my claustrophobic fear of sitting in the back of the car between two child seats (as mentioned in my previous blog), I managed it – all the way to Cambridge and back to Ely. Being honest about it was a huge help. The only time I was uncomfortable was when we were looking for a parking space in busy side-streets. I felt we might never get out of the car, but hung on to my courage, and coped.

The object of the journey was an archaeology open day, mainly intended for children. It was busy and crowded, the only bad moments being when I couldn’t find any members of the family. Afterwards we had a windy, cool picnic by the river Cam, watching the boat crews of various colleges going through their drills. As I got more tired, I began to long for some security and a good rest, so was very pleased to get back to my hotel room and put my feet up for an exhausted sleep.

My most triumphant moments involved herding a large, aggressively-hissing swan back into the water three or four times. It came astonishingly close, and was taller than my grandchildren. It was an unusual thing for me to do, but perhaps by then I felt I had nothing left to lose!

Increasingly, I’m reflecting on what healing actually means, as seen in today’s blog:

 

What is healing?

 

Lord God,

We know
You heal all our diseases,

But what, exactly,
Does this healing mean?

Sometimes it means
The end of pain and suffering;

Sometimes it means
Embracing them, like you.

 

*******************************************

He […] heals all my diseases (Psalm 103:3; NLT).

Yet I said to myself, “This is my sickness, and I must endure it” (Jeremiah:10;19; NIV).

“The Son of Man must suffer many terrible things,” he said (Luke 9:22; NLT).

Those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction (Job 36:15; NIV).

I was given a thorn in my flesh […] Three times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9; NLT).

In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind (2 Corinthians 6:4; NLT).

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28; NIV).

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised (Job 1:21; NIV).

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