12.2.23: Attitude

What a difference our attitude makes to how we respond to all God sends. As Saint Paul says: “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (Philippians 2:5; NLT).

Last night I dreamed I was very ill. It was clear that I was dying, and that this was beyond my control, and beyond any possibility of medical intervention.

In my dream, I was aware that my attitude to death would make a huge difference to how I experienced it. I could accept what was happening, facing it willingly and putting my trust in God. Alternatively, I could resent it, get angry, and feel bitter, or afraid, even blaming God. However, no matter how I approached it, death was still inevitable.

It was a very vivid dream, and I laid awake for a long time afterwards. Eventually I gave up hoping to go back to sleep, so I sat up in bed with a hot drink, and began to pray. To my surprise, as soon as I had said the Lord’s Prayer, today’s blog began to arrive:

In his anguish he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground (Luke 22:44; NET).

I’m hot. I’m cold.
I’m restless. I can’t sleep.

Into my mind, Lord,
Doubts and questions creep:

Can I face all that’s coming
Without fear?

Yahweh, I know I can’t,
But you are here

To help me bear
Whatever you may send:

My Lord, my God,
My Comforter, and Friend.

Now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God (Romans 5:11; NLT).


References

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21; CSB). 

The LORD gives both death and life (I Samuel 2:6; NLT). 

He …became anguished and distressed (Matthew 26:37; NET).

Look – the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners (Matthew 26:45; NLT).

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Mark 14:36; NLT).

He shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever (John 14:16; KJV).

2.2.23: Every heart

Yesterday I woke very early, which gave me lots of time to pray and write. This is what I was given:

Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us? (Luke 24:32; NLT).

May every human heart, Lord, burn,
And may we take your hand, and cling,
Accepting all that life will bring
Each day.

May every human heart repent,
And ask you to forgive our sin,
Embracing you, our closest kin,
Each day.

May every human heart rejoice,
And follow you, our Shepherd King,
The One from whom new life will spring
Each day.

Everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life (1 Corinthians 15:22; NLT).


References 

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. May the name of the LORD be blessed! (Job 1:21; NET).  

Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near (Matthew 4:17; NLT). 

Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother (Matthew 12:50; NLT). 

If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me (Luke 9:23; NLT). 

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep (John 10:11; NLT). 

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-3; ESV).

He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them (2 Corinthians 5:15; NLT).

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life (Romans 6:4; NIV).


Fun with fermentation

Alongside writing and making rosaries, I love making fermented foods. Recently I began making fermented oats, which are delicious, and have lots of probiotic health benefits. Here is a photo of my second fermentation, which I started yesterday:

I’ve also just begun making my first ever leaven (yeast), by fermenting raisins. It’s so interesting to watch the process, and to see the changes every day with these living foods:

30.1.23: Whatever God sends

A few days ago I received my first ever personal glimpse into the concept of “vocation” (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-djN). You may, with complete justification, think me very ignorant about this. Anyway, yesterday, I was given a little more understanding.

I saw that there are many kinds of vocation, and that each is a gift from God to a particular individual. We can ignore, resent, resist, reject, or fight against our vocation. Alternatively, we can freely choose to accept and embrace it with joy, whatever it may be.

This made me wonder whether writing, running my website and being chronically ill have come together to form my vocation – a question which has never crossed my mind before. Then today’s blog began to flow, though it was extremely difficult to put into words. My apologies for the masculine pronouns; I just couldn’t make it work without them.

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).

Receive whatever God sends
With grace,
Whether it’s good or ill,
For the Lord brings blessings
From everything,
When we accept his will.

Embrace whatever God gives
With thanks,
Whether it’s bad or good,
For the Lord brings blessings
From everything,
Through his Son’s precious blood.

Give back whatever God takes
With love,
No matter how great the pain,
For the Lord brings blessings
From everything,
And he will restore us again.

You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again (Psalm 71:20; NLT).


References 

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

Should we accept only good things from the hand of God, and never anything bad? (Job 2:10; NLT).

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other (Ecclesiastes 7:14; NIV).

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the Lord, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood (Romans 3:23-5; NLT).

Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us (1 Chronicles 29:14; NLT).

Accept whatever he gives, and give whatever he takes with a big smile (Saint Mother Theresa).

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. May the name of the LORD be blessed! (Job 1:21; NET).

Walk in a manner worthy of the vocation to which you have been called: with all humility and meekness, with patience, supporting one another in charity (Ephesians 4:1-2; CPDV).


The Rosary Hospital 

Yesterday I was able to continue making my first rosary in the new way – by beginning in the middle of the circle. Hopefully I will finish it tomorrow:

26.1.23: A blessing in disguise

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT). 

Yesterday morning I learned something that was completely new to me. I had begun a migraine the evening before, so I knew I needed to have a day of complete rest to help it pass. This rest-day happened to coincide with the day a friend’s husband was due to have major surgery.

Suddenly I saw the migraine as a blessing in disguise, because it created the time, space and opportunity I needed to pray for them both throughout the day. Immediately after this, I grasped that many other illnesses and adverse circumstances could also be used in the same way.

It may be that seeing our own sickness as an opportunity for intercession is linked to our willingness to embrace suffering, and to thank God for it. There is much I don’t yet understand about this subject, but I hope to learn more.

For now, I glimpse that this approach to illness could become a helpful, meaningful way of sharing Christ’s suffering, and of serving others. Perhaps it could even be described as a “vocation”.

Together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17; NLT). 

So, as a prisoner in the Lord, I beg you to walk in a manner worthy of the vocation to which you have been called: with all humility and meekness, with patience, supporting one another in charity (Ephesians 4:1-2; CPDV).


References

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).

He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10; NKJV). 

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:10; NLT).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years (Isaiah 63:9; NLT). 

21.1.23: Understanding ourselves

Last Thursday, whilst praying for those who wage war on other people, I saw that whenever we harm or hurt someone else in any way, our behaviour reveals that we are unconsciously at war with some aspect of ourselves. Then today’s prayer started to flow:

We don’t understand (John 16:18; NLT). 

Lord, please help us to understand ourselves, because:

When we judge others,
We are are unconsciously judging ourselves.

When we don’t forgive others,
We are unconsciously unable to forgive ourselves.

When we hate others,
We unconsciously hate ourselves,

And when we wage war on others,
We are unconsciously at war with ourselves.

Lord, please help us to choose your perfect way, because:

When we learn to accept ourselves,
We will spontaneously accept others.

When we learn to care for ourselves,
We will spontaneously care for others.

When we learn to forgive ourselves,
We will spontaneously forgive others,

And when we learn to love ourselves,
We will spontaneously love others.

Love your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10:27; NLT).


References 

God’s way is perfect (2 Samuel 22:31; NLT). 

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2; NLT). 

Follow the way of love (1 Corinthians 14:1; NIV).

“You know the way to where I am going.”  “No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:4-6; NLT). 

He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries. Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left (Isaiah 30:19-21; NLT).


The Rosary Hospital 

Yesterday I enjoyed fulfilling a request for a smooth, comfortable Fiat Rosary. It is destined to be worn around the neck, always ready for use, and always ready to bring comfort:

3.1.23: Acceptance

Today’s prayer is the third of four which all arrived together on New Year’s Eve.

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

This is how I am, Lord,
I accept it.
I want to do your will,
And not my own.

I want to follow you, Lord,
So I humbly bear my cross;
Like you, I offer thanks
For grief and pain.

This is how I am, Lord,
I embrace it.
I want to do your will,
And to endure.

I want to be like you, Lord,
So I’m walking in your steps:
Like you, I must face death
To rise again.

Those who die in the LORD will live; their bodies will rise again! (Isaiah 26:19; NLT).

2.1.23: For all He gives

Context: Today’s prayer is the second of four linked poems which arrived together on New Year’s Eve. If you didn’t see the first, here is a link to it: https://wp.me/p45bCr-d8z.

This little sequence of prayers is based on a very special prayer said daily by the Community of Our Lady of Walsingham. I’ve just received permission to post it here, and plan to do so on the 5th of January.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV). 

For all He gives each day
Say, “Thank you, Jesus”.

For all He takes away,
Say just the same.

No matter what goes wrong,
Say, “Thank you, Jesus” –

Accept His will,
And bless His holy name.

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21; CSB).


The Rosary Hospital

Two days ago, my husband helped me to tidy my bedroom. After a lot of discussion, he rearranged some of the furniture in order to create a suitable place for making hot drinks. I also tidied my shrine, unconsciously encircling the holding cross with my Fiat rosary.

Next day I looked at my shrine with fresh eyes. The words: “the circle of prayer” came into my mind, and I recognised straight away that this phrase felt significant, though I didn’t know what it might mean. About an hour later, I realised it referred to the rosary, for what is a rosary if not a circle of prayer? So I’m now wondering where this realisation might lead…

13.12.22: Suffering #3

Sunrise over the sea, taken from my front door yesterday morning

Context: On Sunday evening I was reading about the Annunciation, and reflecting on how Mary freely chose to bear God’s Son. Then today’s question and answer dialogue came straight into my mind, all at once:

And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word (Luke 1:38; KJV). 

I want your will to be done, not mine (Matthew 26:39; NLT).

Will you accept this illness?
Yes, I will, Lord.
Do you accept this pain?
Yes, Lord, I do.

Can you accept this trouble?
Yes, I can, Lord,
And I’ll embrace my cross with joy
For you.

Will you accept this burden?
Yes, Lord, freely.
Do you accept this grief?
Yes, Lord, I do.

 Can you accept this anguish?
Yes, Lord, gladly,
So I’ll give thanks, and bear my cross
For you.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).


References 

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).

I am glad when I suffer for you in my body, for I am participating in the sufferings of Christ that continue for his body, the church (Colossians 1:24; NLT). 

If we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17; NLT). 

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:10; NLT). 

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me” (Mark 8:34; NLT).


Rosary-making news: The Rosary Hospital (with thanks to J.W.)

On Sunday I finally hit on the best way for me to make Fiat Rosaries successfully. These rosaries help the user to explore all four mysteries in one cycle of prayer. The story of how they began is available here: https://associationfiat.com, in several different languages.

The same evening, a friend offered to send me some broken rosaries, to my great delight. I’ve already received a box of similar materials from a shop in Walsingham, and am recycling their usable parts to make corded rosaries.

My husband commented dryly that I’m now running a “Rosary Hospital”, which felt instantly significant. As I don’t charge for what I make, recycling rosary parts helps to keep my costs down. If recipients want to, they can donate to the Community of Our Lady of Walsingham.

Making rosaries is a spiritual exercise, and a form of ministry which brings me great pleasure and purpose, though I still have much to learn. If the Rosary Hospital idea develops further, I’ll post about it here.

Meanwhile, here is yesterday’s non-Fiat rosary (making one each day is enough for my arthritic hands). It’s extra large, chunky and tactile, made especially for an elderly lady:

11.12.22: A question

Context: Today’s prayer is linked to “Love”, posted on 9.12.22. Here is a live link, in case you want to look back at it: https://wp.me/p45bCr-d05. It continues to explore my difficulties around feeling lovable, and therefore finding it very hard to believe that the Lord loves me.

You do not break a bruised reed, or quench a wavering flame (Isaiah 42:3; TIB). 

Lord,

You’ve never turned on me,
Or said a hurtful word;

Nor have you rejected me,
Or left my cries unheard;

Nor screamed, Lord, as my mother did,
Nor scared me, nor condemned –

So why can’t I accept your love,
And trust you as my friend?

I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me (John 15:15; NLT).


References 

He will not constantly accuse us (Psalm 103:9; NLT). 

He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT).

God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).

Your nature is love (Eucharistic Liturgy of the Free Methodist Church).

You are my friends if you do what I command (John 15:14; NLT).

Now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God (Romans 5:11; NLT). 

8.12.22: Suffering #1

Context: Today’s prayer came to me a couple of days ago. It’s about how God can use our willingly-offered suffering to help others. This is a mystery I don’t really understand at all, and which I would very much like to know more about:

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:10; NLT). 

Lord God,

If my suffering, sorrow
And hurt,

Which I willingly accept
And embrace,

Are of any value
To you,

Please use them
To help others,

Even though I don’t know
How you do this.

And, Lord,
Please enable me

To understand and share
Your purpose.

We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).


References 

Suffering:
Since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17; NLT).

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us (Romans 8:18; NIV).

Sorrow:
He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:37; NIV).

Hurt:
I have thought deeply about all that goes on here under the sun, where people have the power to hurt each other (Ecclesiastes 8:9; NLT).

When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals – one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:33-4; NIV). 

Acceptance:
Should we accept only good things from the hand of God, and never anything bad? (Job 2:10; NLT).

Let them turn the other cheek to those who strike them and accept the insults of their enemies (Lamentations 3:30; NLT).


Rosary-making news:

To my great delight, yesterday I received a box of broken rosaries, chaplets and bracelets by post. I had a very enjoyable afternoon taking them to pieces, and sorting out all the parts I can re-use. Then I made my first rosary for several days. It was a bit of a struggle joining it all up, and I had to start again, but here is a photo of the final result, made for a friend in my spiritual discernment group: