chronic fatigue – Seeking God's face together

Rest

May 14, 2021May 17, 2021Ruth Kirk

I have suffered from Chronic Fatigue since 2005. This means that my energy is always very limited. Exhaustion often forces me to rest, regardless of what I want, or need, to do.

Until today, I have always understood ‘rest’ as time spent sitting down, or being in bed.

However, to my astonishment, God has now shown me that rest can also be a state of mind, and even a way of life.

With this approach, whether or not I am active, living restfully means noticing my sensations, thoughts, and emotions as they occur, acknowledging their reality without judgement, then sharing them simply and honestly with God.

Hopefully, this process will teach me how I need to change in order to live more restfully, so I can be at peace with myself, with God, with others, and the world.

References

My soul finds rest in God (Palm 62:1; NIV).

New day

May 2, 2019June 14, 2019Ruth Kirk

Thank you, Lord,
For this new day.

May I rejoice
Along the way,

Express your love
In all I say,

And never cease
To watch and pray.

References

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV).

Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation (Matthew 26:41; NIV).

When I’m sick

April 11, 2019June 14, 2019Ruth Kirk

When I’m sick, Lord,
Help me still to serve you.

When I’m hurt, Lord,
Help me to forgive.

When I sin, Lord,
Help me to say sorry.

Then, though I am dust,
I’ll fully live!

References

Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only (Luke 4:8; NIV).

When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too (Mark 11:25; NLT).

If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23-4; NIV).

I am nothing but dust and ashes (Genesis 18:27; NIV).

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10; NIV).

Tests

April 10, 2019June 14, 2019Ruth Kirk

Hello, everyone. I want to let you all know that I’m in hospital with breathing difficulties, just in case there is some disruption to my daily posts. I was admitted on Monday, and am currently waiting to have a scan and, hopefully, a diagnosis. Love to you all, from Ruth XXXXX

Lord,

Whether my tests are great or small,
May I help those who stumble.

Whether my pain is strong or weak,
May I help others through.

Whether my tears fall fast or slow,
May I help those who suffer.

Whether my life is long or short,
May I, like Christ, serve you.

References

The Lord tests the heart (Proverbs 17:3; NLT).

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows (John 16:33; NLT).

Mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15; NRSV).

Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me (Matthew 25:40; NIV).

8.11.13.

April 2, 2019July 18, 2021Ruth Kirk

Hello, my name is Ruth Kirk, and I’m a Christian writer. I live with chronic fatigue, invasive breast cancer, neuropathic pain, sicca syndrome, and various other medical conditions. I also have extensive experience of panic, agoraphobia, depression and anxiety, both personally and professionally.

Whilst I’m praying I often have insights, which I try to express in writing, usually as short prayer-poems. I publish one of these each day, praying for all who read it, and for all who don’t. I very much hope you will find something on my site that interests or helps you, and I welcome comments.

With best wishes, from Ruth xxxx
http://www.ruthkirk.org

In your light

March 1, 2019June 14, 2019Ruth Kirk

Hello, everyone. I woke at 5am today, and, to my great joy and relief, received the inspiration to start writing again. Thank you so much to those who sent messages of comfort, support and encouragement. So, here is today’s newly-minted prayer:

I hold my friends, Lord,
In your light,
Which streams into the world
Both day and night.

I hold my neighbours
In your peace,
Which streams into the world, Lord,
Without cease.

I hold my foes, Lord,
In your truth,
Which streams into the world
To end abuse.

I hold all people
In your blood,
Which streams into the world
To bring us love.

References

I am writing to remind you, dear friends, that we should love one another (2 John 1:5; NLT).

God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).

See, see, where Christ’s blood streams in the firmament! (Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe, Act 5; Scene 2).

If you love your neighbour, you will fulfil the requirements of God’s law (Romans 13:8; NLT).

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).

Love your enemies! (Luke 6:35; NLT).

The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).

Supplement your […] brotherly affection with love for everyone (2 Peter 1:7; NLT).

He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of Christ’s blood on the cross (Colossians 1:20; NLT).

God is love (1 John 4:16; NLT).

I long for you

February 17, 2019June 14, 2019Ruth Kirk

My God, my God,
I long for you,
Though you are always here,
Within my body.

My God, my God,
I yearn for you,
Though you are always here,
Within my mind.

My God, my God,
I thirst for you,
Though you are always here,
Within my heart, Lord.

My God, my God,
I search for you,
Though you always here,
Within my soul.

References

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Mark 15:34; NLT).

I long for you, O God (Psalm 42:1; NLT).

You are the temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:16; NLT).

I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain (Psalm 143:6; NLT).

All night long I search for you; in the morning I earnestly seek for God (Isaiah 26:9; NLT).

He lives within you (1 John 2:27; NLT).

Contemplation

February 8, 2019July 12, 2019Ruth Kirk

Father,
When I come to you in silence
My body can’t be left outside the door;
So I share my pain and sickness with you,
Then I find they trouble me no more.

Father,
When I search for you in stillness
Endless thoughts and fantasies hold sway;
So I share all my istractions with you,
Then I find they slowly drift away.

Father,
When I seek you out in private
Painful feelings can’t be pushed aside;
So I share my rage and sorrow with you,
Then I find they quietly subside.

Father,
When I wait for you in darkness
Terror sometimes shakes me to the core;
But I share my fear and anguish with you,
Then I let them go, Lord, and adore.

References

Be silent before the Sovereign Lord (Zephaniah 1:7; NIV).

Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10; NIV).

When you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private (Matthew 6:6; NLT).

Wait for the Lord (Psalm 37:34; NIV).

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed (Mark 1:35; NIV).

We adore you as the one who is over all things (1 Chronicles 29:11; NLT).