They look, but they don’t really see
(Matthew 13:13; NLT).
1. Look at our world –
At our conflict and strife.
2. Look, for our greed
Is destroying all life.
3. Look at our hate –
We’ve forgotten God’s way.
4. Look, see the truth,
Ask forgiveness, and pray.
Image: Nicole Schüler, Pixabay
References
1. The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. All have turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one. Do all these evildoers know nothing? They devour my people as though eating bread; they never call on the Lord (Psalm 14:2-4; NIV).
2. From the least to the greatest, their lives are ruled by greed (Jeremiah 6:13; NLT).
You did not reflect on your actions or think about their consequences (Isaiah 47:7; NLT).
3. Hatred stirs up quarrels (Proverbs 10:12; NLT).
They have chosen crooked paths and have forgotten the Lord their God (Jeremiah 3:21; NLT).
God’s way is perfect (2 Samuel 22:31; NLT).
Follow the way of love (1 Corinthians 14:1; NIV).
4. You will look back on all the ways you defiled yourselves, and will hate yourselves because of the evil you have done (Ezekiel 20:43; NLT).
Perhaps even yet they will turn from their evil ways and ask the Lord’s forgiveness before it is too late (Jeremiah 36:7; NLT).
Two people have hurt me badly in the last few weeks. In both cases, after some thought, I was honest with those involved, expressing my response as lovingly as I could. However, they both reacted with anger and blame. Sadly, offering to meet for reconciliation has brought no response.
Since then, I repeatedly go over all that happened, which generates a constant, painful, and exhausting sense of dread.
The crux of my anxiety is that when someone hurts me, I don’t know whether I should speak out, or say nothing. Each approach has different consequences.
What did Jesus say and do?
As always, I look for guidance in Jesus’ teaching and example. However, he taught, and displayed, both outspoken and silent ways of responding to hurt and injustice, which I find confusing.
Until his arrest, Jesus always spoke the truth in love when people criticised or insulted him. He was, in fact, very direct. His honesty made him a lot of enemies, and contributed to his death.
After his arrest, Jesus said very little, no matter what he was accused of, and how he was treated. This puzzled his captors, perhaps antagonising them even more.
Over the years, I’ve tried both approaches. What happens when I follow Christ’s example in these two, very different, ways?
A. Speaking out
When I “speak the truth in love”, it almost always backfires. The person I’ve been honest with turns on me, angrily blaming me for what I said, even though it was their own hurtful behaviour towards me that I spoke about. I then react to their hostility with my characteristic chronic dread.
B. Saying nothing
When I say nothing, I simply allow the other person to hurt me, absorbing the pain and damage, just as I did with my emotionally abusive mother. Without feedback, of course, there is a risk that they may continue to damage me. This makes me feel helpless and powerless, worsening my chronic depression.
Either way, I can easily end up feeling as if life is not worth living.
Forgiveness
Fortunately, Jesus is absolutely clear that whether we speak out or say nothing, we should always forgive those who hurt us. This applies even if they never recognise what they have done, and never say they are sorry.
Conclusion
When people hurt me, I ruminate endlessly about how I responded, and what went wrong. Whether I speak out or say nothing, the outcome is equally damaging for my mental health.
Worse still, I also feel guilty for having “caused” the other person to strike back angrily at me, and to hate me from then onwards.
So, when someone hurts me, should I speak out, or say nothing? I still don’t know the answer to this question, which has plagued me all my life. All I can do is to pray for those who hurt me, asking God to guide and heal us all.
Image: Himsan, Pixabay
References
Introduction
Even my best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me (Psalm 41:9; NLT).
What did Jesus say and do?
Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps (1 Peter 2:21; NIV).
You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? (Matthew 23:33; NIV).
The leading priests kept accusing him of many crimes, and Pilate asked him, “Aren’t you going to answer them? What about all these charges they are bringing against you?” But Jesus said nothing, much to Pilate’s surprise (Mark 15:3-5; NLT).
If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God(Matthew 5:23-4; NLT).
A. Speaking out
Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them (Luke 17:3-4; NIV.
The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me (Job 30:27; NIV).
B. Saying nothing
He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth (Isaiah 53:7; NLT).
You have taken away my companions and my loved ones. Darkness is my closest friend (Psalm 88:18; NLT).
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me (Psalm 42:7;NIV).
Why wasn’t I buried like a stillborn child, like a baby who never lives to see the light?(Job 3:16; NLT).
Forgiveness
When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there [and] Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:33-4; NIV).
When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins (Mark 11:25; NLT).
Conclusion
Love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you (Luke 6:27-8; NLT)
The Lord of Hosts […] is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance (Isaiah 28:29; NKJV).
Father, forgive them,
for they don’t know what they are doing
(Luke 23:34; NLT).
Lord,
1. When someone hurts me
Very deeply,
How can I explain
Without offence?
2. I try so hard
To speak the truth, Lord, gently,
But then they turn on me,
And are incensed.
3. I pray for them,
For reconciliation,
And friendship,
But their love has changed to hate.
4. Lord, how can I set boundaries
With others
So they don’t blame me,
And retaliate?
Image: Shutterbug 75, Pixabay
References
1. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them (Luke 17:3; NIV).
2. We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
Even my best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me (Psalm 41:9; NLT).
3. Pray for those who hurt you (Luke 6:28; NLT).
See how many enemies I have and how viciously they hate me! (Psalm 25:19; NLT).
4. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour. Instead, be kind to each other, just as God through Christ has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:31-2; NLT).
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us (Luke 11:4; NLT).
1. God speaks to us
But we don’t hear:
With him, there’s neither Hate, nor fear.
2. God cares for us
Although we fight:
With him, there’s neither Black, nor white.
3. God aches for us,
And hears each plea:
With him, there’s neither
Slave, nor free.
4. God longs for us
To change, and trust:
With him, there’s neither Them, nor us.
5. God treasures us,
And this is key:
With him, there’s neither He, nor she.
6. God offers us
His much-loved Son: With him, all humankind Isone.
References
1. God speaks again and again, though people do not recognise it (Job 33:14; NLT).
No one will be hurt or destroyed on my holy mountain (Isaiah 65:25; NLT).
Perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18; NIV).
2. The Lord protects the foreigners among us. He cares for the orphans and widows (Psalm 146:9; NLT).
Do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also (Matthew 5:39; NLT).
3. In all their suffering he also suffered (Isaiah 63:9; NLT).
He hears their cries for help and rescues them (Psalm 145:19; NLT).
There is neither slave nor free (Galatians 3:28; NKJV).
4. The Lord longs to be gracious to you (Isaiah 30:18; NIV).
Repent and turn to me again (Revelation 3:3; NLT).
Trust in God (John 14:1; NLT).
5. He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT).
There is neither male nor female (Galatians 3:28; NKJV).
6. God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16; NLT).
This is my beloved Son (Luke 9:35; NKJV).
You are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28; NLT).
1. This plague won’t end
Until we turn to God,
Wanting to change our goal
From looks, to love.
2. This plague won’t end
Until we turn to God,
Willing to shift our hopes
From wealth, to love.
3. This plague won’t end
Until we turn to God,
Ready to move our hearts
From hate, to love.
4. This plague won’t end
Until we turn to God,
Learning to switch
From selfishness, to love.
5. This plague won’t end
Until we’ve understood, And changed our way of life on earth –
For good!
References
1. Repent of your sins and turn to God (Matthew 3:2; NLT).
People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7; NLT).
2. God said to him, “You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?” (Luke 12:20; NLT).
3. You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbour’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! (Matthew 5:44; NLT).
Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you (Luke 6:27; NLT).
4. Then he [Jesus] said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).
5. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7; NLT)
You have shown me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever (Psalm 16:11; NLT).
I am for peace; but when I speak, they are for war
(Psalm 120:7; NIV).
Lord,
1. Embed these words
In every soul: I am for peace, Though others are for war.
2. Lodge them in every heart
As our shared goal: I am for peace, Though others are for war.
3. Fix them in every mind
And every prayer: I am for peace, Though others are for war.
4. Put them in every mouth
Till all declare: We are for peace!
Then strife will be no more.
Photo: Wikimedialimages
References
The Lord will mediate between nations and will settle international disputes. They will hammer their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will no longer fight against nation, nor train for war anymore (Isaiah 2:4; NLT).
He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever (Revelation 21:4; NLT).
In those days no one will be hurt or destroyed on my holy mountain (Isaiah 65:25; NLT).
1. Even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others (Mark 10:45; NLT).
2. When they came to the place called The Skull, they nailed him to the cross [and] Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:33-4; NLT).
3. You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry (James 1:19; NLT).
4. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35; NLT).
5. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us (2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT).
6. Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes (Ephesians 4:23; NLT).
7. God gave us the courage to declare his Good News to you boldly, in spite of great opposition (1 Thessalonians 2:2; NLT).
8. We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
