This prayer arrived yesterday morning, and I was able to spend time putting it into words during the evening:
I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done (Psalm 38:18; NLT).
Lord God,
I’ve said I’m sorry
For my sins.
I’ve asked you to forgive me,
And forget.
Please don’t condemn
Your servant out of hand –
Lord God, don’t scorn my sorrow,
Or reject.
Please heal the fear
That I have lost your love,
So I have nothing worse, Lord, To regret.
Then help me, please,
To leave the past behind,
Forgive myself, and trust
You’ve paid my debt.
I have swept away your sins like a cloud. I have scattered your offenses like the morning mist. Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free (Isaiah 44:22; NLT).
References
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise (Psalm 51:17; NIV).
Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! (Psalm 27:9; NLT).
The kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death (2 Corinthians 7:10; NLT).
The LORD will not reject his people (Psalm 94:14; NLT).
He loves us with unfailing love; the LORD’s faithfulness endures forever. Praise the LORD! (Psalm 117:2; NLT).
While I was praying without words last Sunday, I glimpsed this prayer. It was extremely difficult to catch hold of, and to put into words, but I’ve done my best.
O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me (Psalm 139:1; NLT).
Lord,
You know all about me.
Before a word is on my tongue
You know it completely.
I needn’t even ask you
To heal me, because
You already know how deeply
I long for your touch.
All I need to do
Is to have courage,
Trusting that you have forgiven
All my sins,
That you won’t let me be tried
Beyond what I can endure,
That you will bring good
From all my suffering,
And that you will heal me,
When the time is right.
I am the LORD who heals you (Exodus 15:26; CSB).
At the right time, I, the LORD, will make it happen (Isaiah 60:22; NLT).
References
Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).
Then some people appeared, bringing a person who was paralyzed, stretched out on a pallet. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed person, “Courage, my child, your sins are forgiven” (Matthew 9:2; TIB).
He forgives all my sins (Psalm 103:3; NLT).
God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).
No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13; NET).
As soon as I surfaced from sleep yesterday, and before I had even begun to pray, these verses started to arrive. Their background is that a day or two ago I looked at myself in a mirror, and, for the first time ever, smiled spontaneously at myself with a degree of love and acceptance.
Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).
I glance in the mirror,
And see you within,
Ready to save me
From weakness and sin.
I look in the mirror, And greet you within:
My Light, my Redeemer,
My Shepherd and King.
I watch in the mirror,
And meet you within:
My Guide and my Teacher,
My Healer, my kin.
I smile in the mirror,
And love you within.
My heart is content, Lord:
No wonder I sing!
My heart is confident in you, O God; no wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart! (Psalm 108:1; NLT).
References
The LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion (Isaiah 30:18; NLT).
The person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17; NLT).
Don’t you realise that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you? (1 Corinthians 3:16; NLT).
Don’t you know that your bodies are a part of Christ’s body? (1 Corinthians 6:15; CSB).
You …are complete through your union with Christ (Colossians 2:10; NLT).
A reading from 1 Corinthians 13:9-13; NLT.
Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.
All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.
The Rosary Hospital
This is the Fiat rosary I started yesterday. It’s now finished, and ready for packing.
As soon as I surfaced from sleep yesterday, and before I had even begun to pray, these verses started to arrive. Their background is that a day or two ago I looked at myself in a mirror, and, for the first time ever, smiled spontaneously at myself with a degree of love and acceptance.
Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).
I glance in the mirror,
And see you within,
Ready to save me
From weakness and sin.
I look in the mirror, And greet you within:
My Light, my Redeemer,
My Shepherd and King.
I watch in the mirror,
And meet you within:
My Guide and my Teacher,
My Healer, my kin.
I smile in the mirror,
And love you within.
My heart is content, Lord:
No wonder I sing!
My heart is confident in you, O God; no wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart! (Psalm 108:1; NLT).
References
The LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion (Isaiah 30:18; NLT).
The person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17; NLT).
Don’t you realise that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you? (1 Corinthians 3:16; NLT).
Don’t you know that your bodies are a part of Christ’s body? (1 Corinthians 6:15; CSB).
You …are complete through your union with Christ (Colossians 2:10; NLT).
A reading from 1 Corinthians 13:9-13; NLT.
Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.
All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.
The Rosary Hospital
This is the Fiat rosary I started yesterday. It’s now finished, and ready for packing.
LongShadows. Self-portrait of photographer with friend. Lackland AFB, San Antonio, Texas (November 2006). Photo by Peter Rimar; Wikimedia.
Today’s verses came to me yesterday morning as I lay in silent prayer shortly after waking up. They arrived with an involuntary groan, and struck me to the heart.
If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God (Matthew 5:23-4; NLT).
I can’t be whole without my shadow, Lord,
Without the parts I bury and deny.
For you know all about me, good and bad:
The sins I haven’t faced, which underlie
The guilt and shame tormenting me within, My sharp regrets, my cowardice and dread
Of being honest, Lord, with those I’ve hurt.
Please help me to confess at last, instead.
Accepting all the anger I deserve,
I’ll say I’m sorry, ceasing to defend
Myself against the truth of every wrong,
And then my shadow will become my friend.
With you, I’ll face the darkness in my soul;
My conscience will be healed, then I’ll be whole.
He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but Hishands make whole (Job 5:18; NKJV).
References
Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).
I know every thought that comes into your minds (Ezekiel 11:5; NLT).
He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).
The LORD’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive (Proverbs 20:27; NLT).
You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).
Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked (1 Timothy 1:19; NLT).
The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith (1 Timothy 1:5; NLT).
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).
Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear (1 Timothy 1:19; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday evening I enjoyed making a long, chunky Fiat rosary, suitable for someone with sensory issues of sight or touch. Fiat rosaries don’t usually have a centrepiece, and in making this one, I discovered a way of managing without, which was new for me. I particularly like the heavy cross, which came as part of a donation of used and broken rosaries. My warm thanks to its generous donor.
God’s hand was on the people of Israel (2 Chronicles 30:12; NLT).
Father,
Lay your loving hand
On every mind today.
Please call us to repent
And turn to you.
Jesus,
Lay your loving hand
On every heart today.
Please touch us, heal us all,
And make us new.
Spirit,
Lay your loving hand
On every soul today.
Please fill us with your breath,
And cleanse us, too.
Yahweh,
Lay your loving hand
On every life today,
Then we will serve with love,
In all we do.
Do everything with love (1 Corinthians 16:4; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday I made a first communion rosary, using the restored centrepiece I mentioned a day or two ago. It’s not quite finished, but here it is so far:
Over the last week, prayer has become more and more difficult for me. I can repeat a few set prayers and offer brief intercessions and thanks, but my mind, heart and soul feel empty, and I am deeply weary.
So much has happened (and continues to happen), to my family, to others near and far, and to me, that I have few emotions left, and little sense of God’s presence. Overstretched and worn out, I’m unable to respond fully to fresh events. However, suffering continues actively, both for others and for myself, so I must continue to face it and live with it, until I start to feel again.
He awakes, and his soul is still empty (Isaiah 29:8; NKJV).
I’ve hardly prayed these past few days.
I’ve scarcely praised at all.
O Holy Spirit, help me, please,
And listen to my call.
I’ve hardly prayed these last few days.
My words are only dust.
O Holy Spirit, help me
To receive God’s love with trust.
I cannot sleep; nor can I write.
My mind is bare and dry.
Please stir my heart and soul,
So I can hear your gentle sigh.
I cannot work; nor can I rest. My mind is full of pain.
Please heal my heart and soul,
So I can hear your voice again.
“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the LORD told him. And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:11-12; NLT).
References
Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat. So they left by boat for a quiet place, where they could be alone. But many people recognized them and saw them leaving, and people from many towns ran ahead along the shore and got there ahead of them (Mark 6:30-33; NLT).
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30; KJV).
Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong (Ephesians 3L17; NLT).
Lord, be merciful to me; heal my soul (Psalm 41:4; NKJV).
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26; BSB).
The Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26; AMP).
I find that interceding for others can easily become a burden. More and more people are added to my list, and hardly anyone is ever crossed off. Praying for them all can become a lengthy, repetitive, exhausting task, rather than a caring, heartfelt appeal for God to help them. Sometimes I’m just not well enough to manage it at all, even though I don’t want to neglect anyone who is suffering.
As I was reflecting on this a couple of days ago, today’s prayer came to me:
I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them (1 Timothy 2:1; NLT).
It doesn’t need to be a burden:
Pray, right now, for everyone,
Asking God to heal and bless them:
Simply pray through Christ, the Son.
Let the Holy Spirit pray On your behalf, to God above.
Lift this troubled world to heaven:
He will help us all, with love.
The Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26; AMP).
After writing, then saying, this prayer, I suddenly saw that I could use my rosary to help me pray for others. So I tried it out, like this:
Holding the first bead of the first decade, I waited silently to see who came into my mind, then I prayed for them. Moving on to the next bead, I waited again to see who came to mind, and so on. When no more names appeared, I knew my intercessions were finished for the moment.
With this approach, I didn’t have to think about who to pray for, which was a relief. It also felt less mechanical than using a list – more natural, spontaneous, and supported by the Holy Spirit.
I quickly saw that I could use my rosary like this to pray discreetly for others in different settings, such as during medical treatments, or journeys, whilst walking, or waiting somewhere, and so on. Normally, I do this without a rosary, but find that it’s very easy to be distracted, to forget who I’m praying for, or even to forget that I’m praying. The more creative I can be with my intercessions, the fresher and more alive they will become. I already know that there will be more on this topic over the next few days. God is good!
References
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion (Ephesians 6:18; NLT).
You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father (John 14L13; NLT).
I am the LORD who heals you (Exodus 15:26; NLT).
I am the one who wounds and heals (Deuteronomy 32:39; NLT).
Yesterday was a bit of a struggle in terms of fatigue and pain, so this prayer, written earlier in the week, seemed like a good and cheering choice for today:
Pray in the Holy Spirit (Jude 1:20; RSV).
Spirit of the Living God,
Please fill my mind,
And heart,
And soul.
Then pray
On my behalf,
Till all who suffer
Are made whole.
References
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion (Ephesians 6:18; NLT).
We are the temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:16; NLT).
The Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26; AMP).
The Rosary Hospital
On the plus side, I finished the beadwork of a fiat rosary which was ordered as a gift. Tomorrow I hope to complete it, ready for posting.