Category: life

2.10.22: I’m nothing

Ruth Kirk

Context: Since my hospital trip to London, I’ve been feeling drained and empty. Prayer is almost impossible. All I can do is to wait, resting in God’s hands, knowing I’m nothing, and placing all my trust in God. Yesterday morning, when I tried to pray, this is what came to me:

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

Lord God, I know I’m nothing.

The only thing that’s good about me is that your Spirit lives in my soul.

Without your help, I can do nothing, Lord; I can’t even pray. 

Without you, I’m spiritually dead, though my body lives on.

I’m in your hand. You alone give me life, breath and everything I need to stay alive. When you close your hand, I will die. 

No matter what happens, Lord, please help me to become more like your dear Son in everything I think, say and do.

I ask this in his holy name. Amen.

References

I am nothing (Job 49:4; NLT). 

Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? (1 Corinthians 3:16; NET).

Apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:5; NLT).

The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (Romans 8:26-7; NRSV).

I know all the things you do, and that you have a reputation for being alive – but you are dead (Revelation 3:1; NLT).

The life of every living thing is in his hand, and the breath of every human being (Job 12:10; NLT). 

When you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things. When you hide your face, they are terrified; when you take away their breath, they die and return to the dust (Psalm 104:28-9; NIV). 

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV). 

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT). 

Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus (Colossians 3:17; NIV).

29.9.22: Love

Ruth Kirk

Context: After my hospital trip to London I’m absolutely drained, so I’m particularly thankful for this short blog, which came to me a few days ago, whilst I was recovering from a migraine:

The Lord our God, the Lord is one (Mark 12:29; NIV).

One God, one Lord,
One Holy Ghost;

One faith, one hope,
One cup, one host;

One flesh, one mind,
One heart, one soul;

One origin,
One life, one goal.

Let love be your highest goal! (1 Corinthians 14:1; NLT). 

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT). 

References 

There is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called into one hope when you were called. There is one Savior, one faith, one baptism, one God and Creator of all, who is over all, who works through all and is within all (Ephesians 4:4-6; TIB). 

The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not the communion of the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not the communion of the body of Christ? For we being many are one bread, and one body: for we are all partakers of that one bread (1 Corinthians 10:16-17; KJV).

YHWH fashioned an earth creature out of the clay of the earth, and blew into its nostrils the breath of life. And the earth creature became a living being (Genesis 2:7; TIB). 

God, the LORD, created the heavens and stretched them out. He created the earth and everything in it. He gives breath to everyone, life to everyone who walks the earth (Isaiah 42:5; NLT).

I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one – as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me (John 17:21-3; NLT).

Acceptance

Ruth Kirk

Context: Yesterday was interesting, but truly exhausting. The long, slow journey across London from my hotel to the hospital in very heavy traffic was followed by about five hours of continual medical tests. Then it was time for the journey back to the hotel, and some much-needed food and drink, as I had been fasting for many hours.

Some of you will know that I’ve been having therapy for severe lifelong claustrophobia, so I’m delighted to report that I coped with the automatic door-locking systems in two taxis, used the hospital lift twice, locked myself in the disabled loo several times, and dealt well with being strapped down for some of my investigations.

Today I have to get up very early for my flight home, so there’s no time for writing. Instead, in the middle of the night, I’m posting a little prayer which came to me a few days ago.

Introduction
As I get older, I see more and more clearly that God really does bring good out of everything, no matter how disastrous it may seem.

However, we too, have an important part to play in this process, through our acceptance, faith, hope, love, trust and prayers. God can only help us if we co-operate!

Should we accept only good things from the hand of God, and never anything bad? (Job 2:10; NLT).

Accepting the rough with the smooth, Lord,
Accepting the grief with the bliss,

Accepting the hate with the love, Lord,
Accepting the strike with the kiss;

Accepting the cold with the heat, Lord,
Accepting the dark with the light,

Accepting the bad with the good, Lord:
I give thanks for all of my life.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV).

References

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21; CSB).

No test has overtaken you but what is common to all people. You can be confident that God is faithful and will not let you be tested beyond your means. And with any trial God will provide you with a way out of it, as well as the strength to bear the trial (1 Corinthians 10:13; TIB).

He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10; NLT).

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).

We know that God makes everything work together for the good of those who love God and have been called according to God’s purpose (Romans 8:28; TIB).

26.9.22: Emotional healing

Ruth Kirk

Context: I’m in London today, facing a battery of specialised medical tests. It’s only 5am, but I’m having a very early breakfast, as I have to fast for several hours before arriving at the hospital.

This blog considers how free-will, honesty and forgiveness contribute to emotional healing. Each of these factors builds on the one before, until healing is complete. This completion can take place progressively, during life, or instantaneously, at death, when we meet Christ face to face.

He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted (Luke 4:18; NKJV). 

Introduction
Emotional healing is a lifelong process of personal growth in mind, heart and soul. It is brought about by revelation and personal insight, which gradually help us to change how we think, speak, behave and feel.

1. Free-will
Let’s begin with free-will. In order to be healthy, all personal change needs to be based on independent choice. Changes which are expected, required, demanded, imposed, or forced upon us by others can never bring about deep, inner healing.

2. Honesty
Similarly, if we try to make ourselves change in order to become an idealised version of ourselves, we are only suppressing how we honestly feel or think, and what we really want to say or do. This is a very unhealthy, incongruent and inauthentic way to live, which stores up further emotional problems for the future. There is no substitute for learning to speak the truth in love.

3. Forgiveness
Next comes forgiveness, another essential, inescapable aspect of inner healing. It can take years to feel forgiven for all the bad things we have thought, said and done. Furthermore, genuinely forgiving those who have hurt us can be equally difficult.

This process is facilitated by being honest with those who have hurt us, forgiving them, and working towards reconciliation, if possible. We can also apologise to those we have hurt, asking them to forgive us.

If those involved are no longer available, all this can still be done through honest prayer.

4. Emotional healing
Free-will, honesty and forgiveness help us to take responsibility for fostering the long-term healing God offers. We can do this by:

  • Being honest with ourselves, others and God
  • Developing insight into ourselves and our behaviour
  • Praying simply and honestly, as children do
  • Learning from experience
  • Learning from books
  • Learning from good role-models
  • Offering healthy, honest, equal, loving relationships to everyone

As we change and grow, we can slowly be healed in mind, heart and soul over the course of our lifetime. Gradually our thinking, speech and behaviour become more honest, more loving, and more genuinely aligned with God’s will for us, progressively promoting our emotional healing.

Conclusion
Through reflecting on the role of free-will, honesty and forgiveness in the process of emotional healing, I have come to see these four concepts as being essentially indivisible. Thus, as we freely choose to become more honest, more forgiving, and more Christ-like, we are slowly healed in mind, heart and soul.

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

References

1. Accept, I beseech thee, the free-will offerings of my mouth, O Lord (Psalm 119:108; WEB).

2. You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

3. Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us (Luke 11:4; NLT). 

4. I am the Lord who heals you (Exodus 15:26; NLT).

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5; NIV).

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT). 

9.9.22: On pause (with thanks to M.O.)

Ruth Kirk

I’m deeply grateful to a very good friend, who gave me the best possible birthday gift yesterday. Whilst discussing a lengthy project she is working on, she casually mentioned that it was currently “on pause”, though her goal had not changed, and she would continue working towards it when she was ready.

The phrase “on pause” caught my imagination immediately. She had developed the technique of consciously pressing her inner “pause” button, then setting a task aside for a time while she attended to other priorities. This idea came as a real breakthrough for me, as a driven, perfectionist person. My way is to keep on working at a task until it’s as perfect as I can possibly make it, heedless of the personal cost in terms of fatigue, headaches, migraines and loss of sleep.

After feeding my praise and excitement back to her, I thanked her warmly for what she had shared with me. Then I said that I wanted to pause the conversation, so I could write down her words before I forgot them. This took only a few seconds, after which we resumed our discussion. Later, as we parted with a hug, I resolved to embrace pressing “pause” as a new technique to add to my repertoire of coping skills.

Whilst working on a blog later the same day, I was amazed to hear myself say to my husband, “I’ll put this on pause for now”. With that, I laid down my iPad and walked away from my task voluntarily. There was no sense of stress, reluctance, or having to make a huge, conscious effort, neither did I put off taking a break until physical needs forced me out of my chair. This was a completely new behaviour for me. God’s healing is truly amazing! So I now have a specific way to set myself free from the inner pressure which drives me to complete my task, regardless of how I feel, how tired I am, or how late the hour.

NB: After a short break I was able to finish what I was doing, and go to bed at a sensible time for once!

💟 I have prayed for everyone who visits this website today, as always.
May God bless you all. With love from Ruth xxxxx

8.9.22: Starting afresh

Ruth Kirk

Today is my 70th birthday, and it marks a fresh start here on my blog, as outlined yesterday (https://wp.me/p45bCr-cbb). From today, until a review in one month’s time, I will be sharing much more directly what God gives me, without trying to shape it into poetry or articles. Instead, my blogs will take the form of an honest daily, spiritual diary.

Hopefully, this change will enable me to continue communicating with you, whilst reducing my workload appropriately as my health deteriorates. Introducing this change is exciting, and makes me feel much more optimistic about the future, no matter what it may hold. So, here is the first entry in my new spiritual diary.

Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it!” (Genesis 28:16; NLT).

Lord, please help me to remember that I live in your presence. I want to be conscious of your nearness, day and night.

As I get older, you’re slowly revealing the contents of my unconscious mind. Please help me to learn from all you show me. Thank you for everything you bring out of my inner darkness. By the time I die, I want to have discovered, faced and accepted as many as possible of the treasures hidden there, however challenging this process may be.

Help me to shine as a beacon of your love wherever I am and in all circumstances, confident that everything is just as you wish it to be. May I learn from all I experience.

Lord, my life here is an exile and a pilgrimage. Whatever happens, please help me to keep on heading back home to you, whilst doing what I can to serve those I encounter along the way. Thank you for taking care of everything else.

I ask all this in your dear Son’s name. Amen.

I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches from secret places so that you may know that I am the Lord (Isaiah 45:3; CSB).

He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness (Daniel 2:22; NLT).

New life

Ruth Kirk

Context: All I can say about today’s poem is that it arrived on its own. I know I wrote it on Saturday 27.8.22. because it’s there in my word-processor, and every piece is dated sequentially. However, I have no memory of writing it. All I can do is to accept it with gratitude. Fortunately, it needed very little work to reach its final form.

Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38; NLT). 

You lead us to sorrow,
Repentance and tears,

To faith and forgiveness,
The end of our fears;

To healing, and growing,
To hope, and delight,

To giving, and service –
To love, and new life.

You have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God (1 Peter 1:23; NLT).

References 

Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone (Romans 5:18; NLT). 

Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5:17; NLT). 

In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28; NKJV). 

Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT). 

I honour you

Ruth Kirk

Context: I woke, began to pray, and saw again, with awe, and more vividly than ever before, that God lives in everything, and that God is everything. In fact, there is nothing that isn’t one with God.

I will speak of the glorious honour of thy majesty, and of thy wondrous works (Psalm 145:5; NKJV). 

I honour you in all,
For you’re the energy, the light,
The pulse, the cells, the atoms, Lord,
The substance, and the life

In all that breathes, and grows and dies,
In all that fruits and fades,
In all that rises, all that falls,
And all, Lord, that degrades.

In earth and water, wind and fire,
In every star and sun:
By living over, in and through
All things, You make us one.

There is …one God and Creator of all, who is over all, who works through all and is within all (Ephesians 4:5-6; TIB).

References 

I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one – as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me (John 17:21-3; NLT). 

The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not the communion of the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not the communion of the body of Christ? For we being many are one bread, and one body: for we are all partakers of that one bread (1 Corinthians 10:16-17; KJV). 

I long to see your face (for M.I.)

Ruth Kirk

Context: This prayer came to me in the shower yesterday morning, so I had to keep repeating the first couple of lines and rehearsing the progression of ideas, until I could get out and make notes on my iPad at top speed. Later in the day I was able to work on it at leisure, so here it is:

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek (Psalm 27:8; NIV).

As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? (Psalm 42:1-2; NLT).

I long to see your face, Lord,
When I meet you, in the end,
My Teacher, Priest and Shepherd,
My Redeemer and my Friend.

Yet, may I wait with patience
For the day you make me whole,
When you draw near, to bear away
My life, and breath and soul,

Because I want to serve you
Till my time on earth has passed,
When, all my trials and sorrows done,
I’ll see your face, at last. 

I will see you face to face and be satisfied (Psalm 17:15; NLT).

My inner wolf

Ruth Kirk

Context: Following the recent blog about my shadow-self (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-bXF), this related, rather strange, exploratory and deeply metaphorical prayer surfaced yesterday, soon after I woke up. It was very hard to write!

It is what comes from inside that defiles you. For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from within.
(Mark 7:20-3; NLT). 

A wolf from the desert will pounce on them (Jeremiah 5:6; NLT). 

I’m sensing my inner wolf,
Hearing it howl,
Glimpsing my shadow-self,
Watching it prowl;

Dreading my temper, Lord,
Hiding my fear,
Loathing my shameful greed:
Always so near.

Yet, in my heart, Lord,
I’m seeing your face,
Asking forgiveness
And seeking your grace.

Mingle my shadow-self
With your pure light,
For I face temptation
All day, and all night.

You are my Shepherd,
My staff and my rod;
You are my All-In-All:
Jesus, my God.

You are my chosen way:
Though I still sin,
You are eternal life –
Jesus, within.

We live in fellowship with the true God because we live in fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ. He is the only true God, and he is eternal life.
(1 John 5:20; NLT). 


Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.
(Colossians 3:11; NLT).