Category: presence

27.3.23: May I follow your way (with thanks to K.B.)

Ruth Kirk
Pastel representation of Turin shroud image of the face of Jesus. Reproduced with kind permission of the artist.

During a video call yesterday, a friend introduced me to some of the artwork in his study, including the beautiful picture above, which was made by someone he knows personally. I asked if I could use it, and he very kindly obtained permission from the artist for me to share it with you.

Make your way plain for me to follow (Psalm 5:8; NLT).

May I follow your way,
Offer your love,

Live in your presence,
And pray without cease;

Shine with your light,
Blaze with your fire,

Trust in your Spirit,
And rest in your peace.

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).

References 

God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).

God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).

God is a consuming fire (Deuteronomy 4:24; NIV).

The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).

The Rosary Hospital 

I’m excited to be slowly making my first little box of rosaries for people who attend church missions. Here are two I’ve made in the the last few days. The one at the back is very chunky, intended for someone with sight difficulties, or loss of sensation in their hands or fingers. The centrepiece shows a picture of Sainte Thérèse, who is also known as the Little Flower:

25.3.23: Your will

Ruth Kirk
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?search=Jesus+carries+cross&title=Special:MediaSearch&go=Go&type=image

This prayer came to me yesterday, despite how I’m struggling with migraine and dread at present:

May your will be done (Matthew 6:10; NLT). 

May your will be done today, Lord,
In my body, heart and mind;
In my spirit, and my life,
Then all my actions will be kind.

May I call upon your name,
For I am yours, and you are mine.
Fill my thoughts, and words, and deeds,
Till I become your living shrine.

May I know your strength and courage;
Take my hand, for I am blind.
May I trust you, Lord, and share
Your cross today, our souls entwined.

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).

References 

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

I will put my Spirit in you and make you eager to obey my laws and teachings (Ezekiel 36:27; CEV).

I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions. In those days I will pour out my Spirit even on servants – men and women alike. And I will cause wonders in the heavens and on the earth – blood and fire and columns of smoke. The sun will become dark, and the moon will turn blood red before that great and terrible day of the LORD arrives. But everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved (Joel 2:28-32; NLT).

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? (1 Corinthians 6:19; NLT).

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).

Trust in God, and trust also in me (John 14:1; NLT).

 

1.3.23: The Spirit’s lead (#1)

Ruth Kirk

Waking this morning from a long, vivid dream in which I was ill, confused, and unable to cope with my own most basic needs, I found comfort in saying my familiar morning prayers.

Then, after asking God’s Spirit to help me, I opened my mind, heart and soul to his lead. Today’s blog shows the first part of what arrived. Tomorrow’s will share the second.

The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words. And he who searches the hearts of men knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (Romans 8:26-7; RSV). 

Lord,
You alone know what my future will bring.

Please help me to live each day in you,
Always aware of your presence and love,
No matter how sad, confused, helpless, or afraid I feel.

I ask this through your dear Son’s name.
Amen.

The Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name (John 15L16; NLT).

References 

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT). 

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NLT). 

24.11.22: In my dreams

Ruth Kirk

Context: In dreams, I very rarely say or do anything overtly Christian, which seems both surprising and sad.

Yesterday morning I woke from a complicated, stressful dream, longing to pray. However, even before I could begin, this blog started to arrive. I tried hard to ignore it, which was impossible. It quickly became so loud and insistent that I had to give in, and write it down, like this:

I want to be a Christian
In my dreams,
To turn to you, and pray, Lord,
In my dreams;
To ask for your forgiveness
In my dreams,
Love others, Lord, and serve you –
In my dreams. 

I want to be a Christian
In my dreams,
So I can praise and thank you
In my dreams;
To revel in your presence
In my dreams,
And welcome all that happens –
In my dreams.

I want to be a Christian
In my dreams,
Then I will see your face, Lord,
In my dreams.
I’ll worship without ceasing
In my dreams,
And live in heaven on earth, Lord –
In my dreams.

Rosary news:

Well, since my most recent failure I’ve thought hard about rosary-making, watched some more YouTube videos, talked with my friend in the UK, and had a Zoom consultation with a lovely consecrated Sister who knows her rosaries. Then I threw the (metaphorical) rule-book into the (metaphorical) bin, and put together my own way of doing it, with the following result:

It seems very strong, and I’m tempted to ask my husband to test its joints, but don’t yet feel quite tough enough to deal with the disappointment if it immediately comes apart like the last one. Maybe I’ll ask him tomorrow….

NB: In the end, I plucked up my courage, he tested it, and it’s still in one piece so far!

13.10.22: In God’s hands

Ruth Kirk

Context: I try to pray, both with and without words, but I’m finding it very hard to concentrate. At present, I receive no tangible response – no light, no warmth, no waves of love, and no sense of God’s presence.

This has been happening for about a week, and makes for a very different spiritual life than I have been used to for many years. It’s a whole new territory for me, based much more strongly on faith and trust than on experience.

However, most mornings I still receive some words. For example, here is a sentence I was given yesterday: I’m in your hands, Lord, whether or not I can pray.  This helped me to grasp and express much more clearly what I’m experiencing:

Our lives are in his hands (Psalm 66:9; NLT). 

I’m in your hands, Lord –
Whether or not I can pray,
Or see your light,
Or feel your warmth.

I’m in your hands –
Whether or not I sense your love,
Or experience your presence,
Or hear your voice.

I’m in your hands –
Whether or not you give me
Anything to write,
And no matter much I thirst for you.

Father, into your hands
I commit my spirit each day –
*Let it be unto me
According to thy will.

Father, into your hands I commit my spirit (Luke 23:46; NIV).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

References

I have put my words in your mouth and hidden you safely in my hand (Isaiah 51:16; NLT). 

As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand (Jeremiah 18:6; NLT). 

In God’s hand is the soul of every living thing; in God’s hand is the breath of all humankind (Job 12:10; TIB).

You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water (Psalm 63:1; NIV).

*Here is a link to the blog where I first spontaneously used this phrase, just a few days ago:  https://wp.me/p45bCr-cxR

10.10.22: Safe

Ruth Kirk

Context: The day before yesterday, whilst praying, I was given a group of phrases to reflect on. There were too many to list them all here, so I’ve chosen just those which turned out to be most relevant to today:

The garden of God
The river of God
The glory of God
The presence of God
The mercy of God
The power of God
The darkness of God
The Spirit of God

I had no idea how to use this list in a blog, so thought no more about it after writing it down.

Next morning I looked at the list again, but was still no wiser about its purpose.

However, when I was praying, I saw that there is no need to worry when inspiration doesn’t arrive. Instead, I can trust God to give me the raw materials for each day’s blog when the time is right.

Then, two or three hours later, to my great surprise, I was given the following poem:

YHWH took the earth creature and settled it in the garden of Eden so that it might cultivate and care for the land (Genesis 2:15; TIB). 

I’m walking in Eden,
Beside a great river,
Safe in your glorious presence,
Lord God.

I’m walking in exile,
With sorrow and anguish,
Safe, through your mercy and power,
Lord God.

I’m walking death’s valley,
With faith and acceptance,
Safe by your side, in the darkness,
Lord God.

I’m walking in heaven, 
At one with your Spirit,
Safe now, forever,
My Lord and my God. 

“My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed (John 20:28; NLT). 

22.9.22: Loving everyone

Ruth Kirk

Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him (Luke 24:31; NLT). 

A few days ago I stood in front of my favourite icon of Jesus, and started to pray. Within seconds, I saw how much easier is to love everyone when I consciously recognise Christ’s presence within each individual, without exception.

Lord,
Please help me to recognise you in everyone, without exception.
I ask this in your holy name.
Amen.

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

References

Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me (Matthew 25:40; NIV). 

May the Lord make your love for one another and for all people grow and overflow (1 Thessalonians 3:12; NLT). 

21.9.22: God’s presence

Ruth Kirk

Context: I woke, began to pray, and saw afresh that God is constantly present in us all.

I walk in the Lord’s presence as I live here on earth! (Psalm 116:9; NLT).

Practicing awareness

Once we recognise this, we can begin to practice remaining consciously aware of God’s presence, until our awareness becomes continuous. This is easy to say, but extremely difficult to put into practice. In fact, it can seem like an impossible task, for we have many distractions each day. Attempting it quickly reveals how easy it is to forget about God’s presence altogether for hours at a time.

Tangible reminders
However, tangible, meaningful reminders of God’s presence can be a useful aid. Those chosen will be different for everyone, depending on our faith and circumstances. Personally, I like to wear an olive-wood cross day and night, always available for me to kiss and hold. There are also a few pictures, icons and wall-crosses strategically placed around my home. Plus, as soon as I open my iPad, my favourite icon is there on the screen, as well.

Living in God’s presence
Slowly, usually through many years of practice, we can learn not just to remember God’s presence all the time, but to live in it. This means communing with God, whilst expressing God’s love as best we can, in all we think, say and do.

Becoming more Christ-like
Through constant contact with God, we become increasingly aware of our oneness with the Divine. This helps us to become more Christ-like, and even, astonishingly, a little more like God.

Constant oneness
In fact, of course, our oneness with God is unchanging, whether or not we are aware of it. This applies before birth, during our time on earth, and after death. So, if we want to live in the joy of God’s presence, all we have to do is to consciously practice remaining aware of, and communicating with, God, who lives within us.

18.9.22: The healing process

Ruth Kirk


Context: Yesterday I woke very early, and saw that God lives in my unconscious mind, waiting and longing to heal me.

Healing is a lifelong process. It means slowly becoming conscious of all that is hidden in the darkness of my unconscious mind, so I can change and grow.

I can encourage this process by:

  • Seeking God
  • Waiting on God 
  • Praying constantly 
  • Listening to God
  • Learning from God
  • Practicing God’s presence

Slowly, slowly, God reveals to me all the damage that lives on in my inner darkness, bringing it into the light of consciousness, so it can be healed. This includes the psychological consequences of the trauma, bullying, coercive control and abuse I suffered throughout my childhood, and far beyond.

I can share in this process by:

  • Opening myself to all God uncovers and reveals to me
  • Facing what I am shown
  • Accepting it
  • Cooperating with God’s healing
  • Learning from from what God tells me
  • Working to change how I feel, think, speak and behave

As God helps me to change and grow, I become more whole as a person, and therefore just a tiny bit more like Christ.

There is no deeper or more complete healing than God’s inner healing.

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).

References 

Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes (Ephesians 4:23; NLT). 

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5; NIV).

I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you (Ezekiel 36:26; NLT). 

He renews my strength (Psalm 23:3; NLT). 

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

As we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world (1 John 4:17; NLT). 

This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ (Ephesians 4:13; NLT).

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT). 

We will be like him (1 John 3:2; NLT). 

16.9.22: Light and darkness (with thanks to KB)

Ruth Kirk

Context: This blog arrived yesterday morning, whilst I was exchanging messages with a friend. It simply formed in my mind as I began to respond. By the time I had put it into words, I realised I needed to hold on to what I had written, so I copied and pasted it into my spiritual diary. Here is the result:

You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light (2 Samuel 22:29; NLT).

Lord, you are light, and you live in the darkness of my unconscious mind (see reference #1).

Constantly present there, you move mysteriously in the depths, patiently revealing, insight by insight, all that is hidden within me, especially all that needs healing (2).

As long as I keep on searching, waiting, looking, listening, learning, changing and growing, you keep on revealing more and more, slowly bringing everything about me into the light (3). 

Through this life-long process, you are healing all the physical, mental and emotional damage caused by my abusive childhood (4).

Thank you so much for everything you show me, Lord, for all your love, help, and healing.

I offer this prayer through your dear Son’s name.

Amen.

References

1. God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).

Clouds and thick darkness surround him (Psalm 97:2; NIV).

He shrouded himself in darkness (2 Samuel 22:12; NLT). 

2. We are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people” (2 Corinthians 6:16; NLT).

You cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things (Ecclesiastes 11:5; NLT). 

He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT). 

He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness (Daniel 2:22; NLT).

3. Moses approached the thick darkness where God was (Exodus 20:21; NLT).

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened (Luke 11:9-10; NLT). 

4. I am the Lord who heals you (Exodus 15:26; NLT).

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).