These verses came to me earlier this week when I was praying without words. I wanted so much to ignore them and keep on drawing nearer to God, but they were so insistent that I had to open my eyes and write down what I was being given:
Today you will be with me in paradise (Luke 23:43; NLT).
Father, While my mind is still,
Please let me rise
To you, in heaven.
Jesus,
While my eyes are closed,
Please let me see
Your shining face.
Spirit,
While my heart is hushed,
Please let me hear
Your wordless sighing.
Threefold God, Though I am dust,
Please let me share
Your peace and grace.
May God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior give you grace and peace (Titus 1:4; NLT).
References
His face shone like the sun (Matthew 17:2; NLT).
The Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words (Romans 8:26; RSV).
I have ventured to speak to the Lord, although I am only dust and ashes (Genesis 18:27; NASB20).
O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water (Psalm 63:1; NLT).
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9; KJV).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday I enjoyed improving two of my own rosaries, which have been awaiting my attention for the last few weeks. I feel much happier about them now.
This little prayer arrived a couple of days ago, just after I’d scribbled down that morning’s first piece of writing in note form:
The life of every living thing isinhishand, and the breath of every human being (Job 12:10; NLT).
While you want us to live, Lord,
We live.
When you want us to die, Lord,
We die.
Lord,
May my spirit
Be silent and still,
Always embracing
And trusting
Your will.
Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10; RSV).
References
The LORD gives both deathandlife (1 Samuel 2:6; NLT).
Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word (Luke 1:38; KJV).
My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done (Matthew 26:42; NLT).
Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word (Luke 2:29; KJV).
The Rosary Hospital
Because of headaches, migraines and fatigue it’s been several days since I last made a rosary. So yesterday I was determined to put one together, and here is the result, which just needs a few finishing touches:
When I reached the first bead of the second decade on my prayer-circlet yesterday morning, I suddenly saw the word Jesus,in bold lettering. It was shining just above a dark shape I was looking towards. I don’t know what the dark shape was, because my eyes were closed and my inner space was very dimly lit.
Christ’s name was spelled out in golden light, and curved like a rainbow. The letters partially encircled the dark object, though they did not touch it. The effect was rather like a halo. Unfortunately I can’t represent their curved shape in my picture above.
Instantly, I thought how fantastic it would be to see Jesus’ name like this wherever I look, always reminding me of his constant presence in everyone and everything.
Then today’s prayer burst out so fast that I could barely keep pace with the words as I hurried to note them down:
God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name (Philippians 2:9; NIV).
Everywhere I look today:
May I see your name shine out,
Lord Jesus.
Everyone I meet today:
May I see your face in theirs,
Lord Jesus.
Every thought I have today:
May it be like one of yours,
Lord Jesus.
Every word I speak today:
May it be as if your own,
Lord Jesus.
Everything I do today: May I do it all for you,
Lord Jesus.
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me’ (Matthew 25:49; NIV).
References
The lightshines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it (John 1:5; NLT).
Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the lightoftheworld. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have thelight that leads to life” (John 8:12; NLT).
I will see you facetoface and be satisfied (Psalm 17:15; NLT).
We have themindofChrist (1 Corinthians 2:16; NLT).
Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
Whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus (Colossians 3:17; NLT).
Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31; NLT).
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people (James 2:12; NLT).
Reading: Philippians 2:5-11; NIV.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
The Rosary Hospital
A very welcome influx of fresh materials today included a strong magnetic clasp, so I was able to enjoy experimenting with a shorter prayer circlet that opens and closes, to be worn around the neck. I had to make it twice, as the first time I used larger beads than usual, which made the cross hang too low on my chest. NB: I particularly like the cross on these circlets to rest as close as possible to my heart.
Whilst trying out different approaches to this task, I stumbled on the possibility of making rosaries in a completely new way. I was too tired to take this idea any further at the time, but hope to try creating a rosary with the new approach tomorrow.
Meanwhile, here is the second prayer-circlet I made yesterday, which I am already wearing. It’s very easy to put on and take off, as it doesn’t need to be pulled over the head:
A few days ago, as I was waking up, I heard a voice calling my name twice (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-deF). Sleepy and confused, I thought it must be my husband, so I went downstairs to check, but it wasn’t him.
Then, to my dismay, I realised that I should have answered, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:9; NIV). I prayed about this immediately, and said I was sorry, but still felt very sad that I had failed to respond at the right time.
However, yesterday the voice called my name again, just once, as I was waking, and this time I was ready to answer with the words Eli gave to Samuel in similar circumstances, so long ago.
As soon as I replied, today’s prayer came to me. It was difficult to write, because I had no idea what God might be going to say. So now I must, “Wait patiently for him to act” (Psalm 37:7; NLT).
I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).
Was it you who called my name, Lord?
Was it you who hailed me?
Last time, Lord, I didn’t answer –
Dazed, confused, I failed Thee.
This time, Lord, I said the words
That Eli gave to Samuel:
“Speak, Lord, for your servant listens” – Yahweh, may I listen well.
Listen to God’s voice (Deuteronomy 26:17; TIB).
Reading: 1 Samuel 3:1-10; NIV.
The boy Samuel ministered before the LORD under Eli. In those days the word of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions.
One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place.
The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the house of the LORD, where the ark of God was.
Then the LORD called Samuel. Samuel answered, “Here I am.”
And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” So he went and lay down.
Again the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” “My son,” Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.”
Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD: The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him.
A third time the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy.
So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.’ ” So Samuel went and lay down in his place.
The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday I received an exciting parcel by post – a collection of broken rosaries. I very much enjoyed taking them apart, and adding all the usable components to my trays of rosary-making materials. My huge thanks to P.M., their donor. Here are a few beautiful pieces, some of which I suspect are quite old:
Hot news: When I was praying this morning, I realised that when it’s time to pause, I don’t need to count all the beads I’ve prayed with so far that day. All I need to do is to note which “decade” I’m on (actually there are nine beads between each cross, but I don’t know the word for a “decade” of nine. Does anyone know this?) Then I just count which bead I’ve reached in that “decade.” For example, if I had just reached the third bead of the second decade, I would remember 2/3. I hope this makes sense! It’s such a simple and obvious way forward, but it’s still a significant breakthrough for me!
Today’s little couplets began to arrive yesterday morning, when I kissed my icon of Jesus. To my surprise, everything I receive is still about prayer, so I’m just going with the flow.
Jesus took Peter, John, and James up on a mountain to pray (Luke 9:28; NLT).
Help me to pray with you, Jesus,
All day and all night.
Help me to pray in your Spirit,
And walk in your light.
Help me to pray to our Father,
In heaven above.
Help me to join you in Oneness,
And live in your love.
Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them (1 John 4:16; NIV).
References
They will pray day and night, continually (Isaiah 62:6; NLT).
Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests (Ephesians 6:18; NIV).
Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12; NLT).
Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy (Matthew 6:9; NLT).
Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us” (Genesis 1:26; NLT).
The LORD our God, the LORD is one (Deuteronomy 6:4;NIV).
Whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit (1 Corinthians 6:17; NIV).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday I made a simple, experimental prayer circlet to wear around my neck, and to hold. It’s loose enough to be able to move from one bead to the next using only one hand. After trying it out, I plan to re-make it with a moveable cross at intervals, as I think that will be helpful when I’m praying.
Ah! To my great relief, yesterday I discovered that using my rosary to pray has greatly eased the long-standing problem I mentioned a few days ago. This is the need to break off my personal prayers whenever a new prayer I need to write down starts to arrive. Each time this happens, I experience an inner conflict. I recognise the new prayer’s significance immediately, and know I need to start writing, but I don’t want to break off from whatever I am seeing, saying, or experiencing in order to do so.
However, yesterday morning brought a change. Using the new approach to prayer described the day before (https://wp.me/p45bCr-deF), I discovered that I could use my left hand to keep hold of the bead I was praying on, whilst typing on my iPad with my right. It’s hard to describe what a huge step forward this is for me, but the bottom line is that it worked.
Pausing to write in this way didn’t interrupt my prayers at all, because the writing simply became part of them. As soon as I’d written down what I’d been given, I was able to go straight back to the bead I’d reached, and to continue my prayers without experiencing any loss of continuity. Praying and writing became one.
This might not sound very important to anyone else, but it’s an answer to prayer for me, and a great relief. Even as I type these words, I’m still holding the bead I had reached when I had to start writing this blog. Thank you, Jesus, that my circle of prayer can remain unbroken.
My rosary prayers can continue on and off throughout the say. When I need to use both hands for a task, I can mark the bead I’ve reached with a plastic-coated tie (see photo below), but I’m hoping that a better marker will come to me before too long. Any suggestions would be very gratefully received.
As I was beginning to surface from a bad dream early yesterday morning, I heard a voice call out my name: “Ruth!” A few moments later it happened again: “Ruth!” I felt disorientated and confused, too sleepy to respond.
Sitting on the edge of my bed (I have to stand up slowly), I tried to pray about what had happened, but I don’t think I made much sense.
Even once I began to move about, it took me several more minutes to realise that I could have answered: “Speak, Lord, your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:9; NLT). I prayed about this, but felt sad that I had missed my chance to respond.
After breakfast it was hard to pray for others, as discussed yesterday (here is a link: https://wp.me/p45bCr-deo). Then a possible way forward suddenly came into my mind.
Introductory prayers Using the first section of my five-decade rosary (the cross and the five beads which lead to the main circle), I kissed the cross, and used it to make the sign of the cross. Then I said five of my favourite morning prayers, one on each bead. Pausing at the centrepiece, I asked the Holy Spirit to direct my prayers, and to help me to pray.
First decade: Praying for others Next, I held the first bead of the first decade whilst praying for the first person who came into my mind. After each bead, I moved on to the next, waiting to see who it was for, then praying for them, as described in the link above.
When I reached the fixed “Our Father” bead, I kissed it, and made the sign of the cross with it again, whilst saying: “Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Then I rested for a moment with my arms crossed on my breast, wondering what would come next.
Second decade: Giving thanks
Almost immediately, I saw that the next decade was for giving thanks, so that’s exactly what I did. On each bead, I waited to see what came into my mind, then gave thanks for it. I knew that this could include saying thank-you for “bad” things, as well as “good” ones.
Half-way through the second decade, I saw what needed to come next: asking God’s forgiveness. Pausing to write this down, I continued giving thanks, until the next “Glory be”, when I rested again.
Third decade: Saying sorry, and asking forgiveness On the next group of beads, I said I was sorry for ten different things I had got wrong, one at a time, including my long-standing flaws and weaknesses. I asked God’s forgiveness and help on each bead, as before.
Fourth decade: Forgiving others By the time I reached this point, I was tiring, but could see that the next ten beads would be about forgiving others. In fact there was no one at all I needed to forgive, so I moved straight on to the last ten beads.
Fifth decade: Praising God The final decade was devoted to praising ten different aspects of God, which was very easy to do.
Conclusion I’m hoping that this way of using my rosary might be particularly helpful when praying with words feels like an unmanageable task, or I’m finding it hard to concentrate. Holding the beads one at a time will hopefully help to keep me centred and grounded. It also limits the number of prayers on each subject to ten, though obviously this shouldn’t be too rigid.
The prayer on each bead will be as short, honest and direct as I can make it, so it will hopefully be possible to develop a momentum that keeps me moving forwards to the next prayer, and the next, rather than getting bogged down, or feeling overwhelmed and giving up. Finally, I plan to try starting and ending my circle of prayer by holding the cross during a period of silence.
Today’s blog came to me when I was praying yesterday morning. It links back to the day before, so if you want to refresh your memory, here is a link: https://wp.me/p45bCr-d9R.
Whilst writing the poem below, I saw in my mind’s eye a very simple circlet of beads to go with it. So, later in the day, I made a prototype, pictured above. Afterwards I realised it needs to have groups of eight beads, rather than 16.
It will have one bead per line, and will be said silently, in time with my breathing. A larger bead will mark the end of the last line. I will kiss each marker-bead as I come to it, before beginning the prayer again on the next eight beads. There will be enough beads in the circlet to say the prayer several times, making it a source of comfort and strength. Using it requires only one hand, so it can easily be said whilst lying down, sitting, standing, or walking.
Anyway, after this long introduction, here is today’s prayer. Of course, a circlet of beads is not necessary for praying this little meditation. You might like to try breathing in as you silently and slowly say the first line of each couplet, then out as you say the second.
I love you, LORD; you are my strength (Psalm 18:1; NLT).
Jesus, I love you.
Jesus, forgive me.
Jesus, I thank you,
My staff, and my rod.
Jesus, please help me.
Jesus, I praise you.
Jesus, you love me,
My Lord and my God.
“My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed (John 20:28; NLT).
References
In Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body (Colossians 2:9; NLT).
Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:11; NLT).
God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself (2 Corinthians 5:19; NLT).
God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ (Colossians 1:19; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
Do you remember me saying that I’d been able to give up supergluing the final knots on my rosaries? Yesterday, to my horror, my own (unglued) rosary came apart. Now I’m imagining all the unglued rosaries I’ve sent out coming apart. There’s nothing I can do about this other than to start using glue again, and making sure people know that if they have a problem, I’ll be very happy to re-cord (and glue), their rosary.
Context: Today’s prayer is the second of four linked poems which arrived together on New Year’s Eve. If you didn’t see the first, here is a link to it: https://wp.me/p45bCr-d8z.
This little sequence of prayers is based on a very special prayer said daily by the Community of Our Lady of Walsingham. I’ve just received permission to post it here, and plan to do so on the 5th of January.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).
For all He gives each day Say, “Thank you, Jesus”.
For all He takes away,
Say just the same.
No matter what goes wrong,
Say, “Thank you, Jesus” –
Accept His will, And bless His holy name.
I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).
Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21; CSB).
The Rosary Hospital
Two days ago, my husband helped me to tidy my bedroom. After a lot of discussion, he rearranged some of the furniture in order to create a suitable place for making hot drinks. I also tidied my shrine, unconsciously encircling the holding cross with my Fiat rosary.
Next day I looked at my shrine with fresh eyes. The words: “the circle of prayer” came into my mind, and I recognised straight away that this phrase felt significant, though I didn’t know what it might mean. About an hour later, I realised it referred to the rosary, for what is a rosary if not a circle of prayer? So I’m now wondering where this realisation might lead…
