Darkness is my closest friend (Psalm 88:18; NLT).
Come, friendly darkness,
Take my hand,
And guide me
To your promised land,
Where Jesus’ light
Forever shines,
Beyond the bounds
Of human minds.
There, I will see him
Face to face,
Receive his
Comforting embrace,
Then join those sitting
At his feet,
To rest a while, and talk,
And eat.
Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile” (Mark 6:31; NLT).
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV).
Lord,
May I rejoice
And praise,
Here, in your presence,
All my days,
And, may I pray
Constantly
To you, the God
Who ransoms me.
May my thanks, Lord,
Never end
For all the good
And bad you send,
So, may I worship,
Serve, and sing,
Hid in the shadow
Of your wing.
In the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy (Psalm 63:7; ESV).
Hide me in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 17:8; NLT).
References
I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!
All who seek the LORD will praise him. Their hearts will rejoice with everlasting joy (Psalm 22:26; NLT).
Sing praises to God and to his name! Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds. His name is the LORD – rejoice in his presence! (Psalm 68:4; NLT).
He ransoms me and keeps me safe (Psalm 55:18; NLT).
I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).
Worship and serve him with your whole heart and a willing mind (1 Chronicles 28:9; NLT).
Worship the LORD your God and serve only him (Luke 4:8; NLT).
This prayer came to me yesterday morning as I kissed the cross on my bedroom shrine, then blessed myself with holy water. All I could do was to start writing it down immediately.
To my utter astonishment, the second line of the second verse had already been given to me the day before, though at the time it seemed unconnected with anything else. As always, I had noted it down, but with no idea how it might be used. It was only as I finished roughing out the first verse that I realised the purpose of this precious phrase.
1. Good morning, Mother, Father: Yahweh –
God of gods, and Lord of lords;
My thanks for all you send each day –
The “good” and “bad” that life affords.
2. Good morning, Teacher, Saviour: Jesus –
Son of God, and Son of Man;
You are the sacrifice for sins –
The consummation of God’s plan.
3. Good morning, Ruach: Holy Spirit –
Breath of God, the King of kings;
All life, and truth, and peace are here –
Beneath the shadow of your wings.
Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
(Psalm 63:7; NLT).
Notes and references
Verse 1
* Will I, who causes others to give birth, not also give birth myself, says the Lord? Will I, who bestows generation upon others, be barren myself, says the Lord your God? (Isaiah 66:9; CPDV).
* “As truly as God is our Father, so truly is God our Mother” (Julian of Norwich).
* “The personal name of God, Yahweh, which is revealed to Moses in Exodus 3, is a remarkable combination of both female and male grammatical endings. The first part of God’s name in Hebrew, “Yah,” is feminine, and the last part, “weh,” is masculine” (David Wheeler-Reed, “What the early church thought about God’s gender”; the conversation.com).
* Should we accept only good things from the hand of God, and never anything bad? (Job 2:10; NLT).
Verse 2
* The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven (Hebrews 1:3; NIV).
* The angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God (Luke 1:35; KJV).
* Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay his head” (Matthew 8:20; NLT).
* He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins – and not only our sins but the sins of all the world (1 John 2:2; NLT).
* Once at the consummation of the ages He has been revealed to put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself (Hebrews 9:26; NASB20).
* This is God’s plan: Both Gentiles and Jews who believe the Good News share equally in the riches inherited by God’s children. Both are part of the same body, and both enjoy the promise of blessings because they belong to Christ Jesus (Ephesians 3:6; NLT).
Verse 3
* “In Hebrew the word for Spirit (רוח) (ruach) is feminine“ (Gender of the Holy Spirit, Wikipedia).
* God, who knows everything in our hearts, knows perfectly well what the Spirit is saying, because her intercessions for God’s holy people are made according to the mind of God (Romans 8:27; TIB).
* The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life (Job 33:4; KJV).
* The mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace (Romans 8:6; NIV).
* The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).
This prayer arrived very late last Sunday night, just as I was settling down to sleep. It comes a little closer to describing what I saw and experienced the same morning. If you would like to read that earlier attempt, which is called “Dazzled”, here is a link to it: https://wp.me/p45bCr-eQk.
NB: As I was writing today’s prayer, I realised that when working on the earlier piece mentioned above, I noted down some of the rhymes used in today’s verses. However, at that time I had no idea how they might come to be used.
I create light and darkness.
(Isaiah 45:7; CEV).
Gold; deep shadow;
Dappled sun and shade –
Though my eyes are closed,
You are arrayed
In light and darkness,
Mercy, love, and grace –
But, when you claim my soul,
I’ll see your face.
They will see his face.
(Revelation 22:4; NLT).
References
Darkness and light are the same to you (Psalm 139:12; NLT).
There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light (Matthew 17:2; NIV).
Darkness was your robe (Psalm 18:11; CEV).
The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity (1 Corinthians 13:12; NLT).
Today’s prayer is a first, halting attempt to picture and describe what I experienced yesterday morning. Tomorrow I hope to post what followed it later the same day.
A bright cloud covered them with shadow.
(Matthew 17:5; JB).
Dazzled by your light and darkness,
Lord, I meet you, deep within.
Humbled by your loving-kindness,
I bow down to weep, and cling.
Overjoyed by your forgiveness,
I give thanks to you, my King.
Then I worship you with gladness,
In the shadow of your wing.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
(Psalm 57:1; NIV).
After a very demanding day on Saturday, plus a migraine, I slept late yesterday. The migraine continued, so I really didn’t expect to receive a prayer, but God can always surprise me:
The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God.
(1 Corinthians 1:18; NLT).
1. Just to hold a cross, Lord,
Is to pray,
2. Knowing you are with me
Night and day,
3. Living all around me
And within:
4. I’m safe, Lord, in the shadow
Of your wing.
How precious is your unfailing love, O God!
All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.
(Psalm 36:7; NLT).
References
Verse 1:
🔻 Take up your cross daily, and follow me (Luke 9:23; NLT).
🔻Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV).
Verse 2:
🔻 When I wake up, you are still with me (Psalm 139:18; NLT).
🔻 Nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:39; NLT).
🔻 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).
Verse 3:
🔻 You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance (Psalm 327, NIV).
🔻 There is…one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).
🔻 The kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21; KJV).
🔻 Christ lives within you (Romans 8:10; NLT).
🔻 The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you (Romans 8:11; NLT).
Verse 4:
🔻 Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings! Ps 61 4 nlt
🔻 He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings (Psalm 91:4; NLT).
🔻 Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 63:7; NLT).
🔻 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me (Luke 13:34; NLT).
Today’s article is the last in a series of three. It draws together what I have learned so far about honest prayer, including praying about the issues hidden in my shadow-self. If you would like to check out the previous two parts, here is the link to Part 1: https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXu, and for Part 2: https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXD.
Then the Lord said to him, “You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy – full of greed and wickedness!” (Luke 11:39; NLT).
Following Biblical teaching on prayer, I want to:
And these are the things I don’t want to do:
My way forward in prayer is to:
Jesus shared everything with God, so I can do the same. For example, I can:
Conclusions
I don’t want to “sanitise” my prayers by concealing my shadow-self. Neither will I say anything which is untrue. For example, I don’t recite prayers about being joyful or loving when these things are not genuinely present in my emotions and behaviour.
Rather, I want to speak the truth in prayer with complete honesty and openness at all times. Nothing I say will ever surprise or shock God, who knows everything about me long before I begin to speak. In fact, he is waiting for me to come to him and to confide in him, just as Jesus confided in him during his time on earth.
The LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion (Isaiah 30:18; NLT).
Additional references
Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).
I know every thought that comes into your minds (Ezekiel 11:5; NLT).
He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).
I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives (Jeremiah 17:10; ESV).
O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me (Psalm 139:1; NLT).
The LORD’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive (Proverbs 20:27; NLT).
In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years (Isaiah 63:9; NLT).
Confide in him at all times, ye people; pour out your heart before him: God is our refuge (Psalm 62:8; DBY).
As for me, I will confide in thee (Psalm 55:23; DBY).
We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
Today’s blog is part two in a series of three short articles discussing the importance of facing and sharing the contents of the shadow-self in honest prayer.
Jesus’ shadow-self
Yesterday’s blog (https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXu), was personal, but today’s will focus on how Jesus faced and expressed his shadow, both with God, and with people. We can have no better example than his.
Temptation (Matthew 4:1-11; NLT)
During the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ forty days in the wilderness, his shadow-self is represented as a being who tempts him to go against his conscience by disobeying God.
These accounts show plainly that even Christ suffered from temptation. Like us, he had to wrestle with, resist, and overcome, his seductive fantasies and impulses. He needed to do this in order to face the huge personal sacrifices his ministry would require of him:
We do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:15; NIV).
Irritation (Luke 9:37-43; NLT)
At times, Jesus became exasperated, both with his followers, and with the Scribes and Pharisees. For example, when his disciples were unable to heal a boy suffering from epilepsy, Jesus became frustrated and irritated. Instead of concealing how he felt, he spoke to them very directly and honestly:
You faithless and corrupt people! How long must I be with you and put up with you? (Luke 9:41; NLT).
Then, having expressed how he felt, he healed the boy, and gave him back to his father.
Anger (John 2:13-17; NLT)
When Jesus saw the established corruption and exploitation taking place in the Temple at Jerusalem he was filled with anger. He purposefully made a whip, using it to drive the merchants and money-changers out of the temple. Chaos resulted as he overturned their stalls, scattered their takings, and chased away their sacrificial animals, whilst crying out:
Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace! (John 2:13-16; NLT).
Anger, whether righteous or otherwise, is part of everyone’s shadow, however much we might prefer to deny and suppress it.
Grief (John 11:1-45; NLT)
When Jesus heard that his friend was very sick, he delayed visiting him and his sisters. Two days later, knowing that Lazarus had died, he set off to their house. There he experienced the anger and tears which so often characterise human grief. It’s inspiring to see Jesus’ human emotions shared so openly to those around him:
When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled (John 11:33; NLT).
Then Jesus wept (John 11:36; NLT).
Fear (Matthew 26:36-46; NLT)
After the Last Supper, Jesus went with his disciples to an olive grove to pray. Overwhelmed by the profound fear rising from his shadow, he could not conceal his anguish. Realising what he was about to undergo, he begged God to take his suffering away.
I find it oddly reassuring to know that even Jesus experienced and expressed dread, longing for it to be taken away. At Gethsemane, as always, his prayers were absolutely direct, unembellished by flowery language, honest, short and to the point:
He became anguished and distressed (Matthew 26:37; NLT).
He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine” (Matthew 26:39; NLT).
He was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood (Luke 22:44; NLT).
Looking ahead
Examining Jesus shadow-side has been a significant challenge for me, but I want to learn from him:
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me (Matthew 11:29; NIV).
Tomorrow I hope to draw some conclusions from this short series on honest prayer.
Today’s blog is the first in a series of three, each of which considers the vital importance of honesty in prayer.
Honesty
The Bible makes it plain that God wants us to be completely honest in prayer, rather than trying to offer a sanitised, partial, or censored version of ourselves as we think God wants us to be:
You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).
Personally, I find it a relief to share everything with God, including my sins, and the shadow parts of myself I would rather keep hidden, or whose existence I would prefer to ignore or deny. Although sharing all this can be painful, it is vital for my ongoing process of inner healing.
For me, prayer means living in awareness of God’s constant presence, listening, learning, and sharing with God all I experience, feel, think, say and do. This is a relationship in which self-censorship, pretence, concealment and denial are pointless, as God already knows everything about me:
Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).
O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me (Psalm 139:1; NLT).
I therefore want my communion with God to be constant, spontaneous, immediate, heartfelt, direct and raw. This requires continuous awareness of what is going on in my shadow, as well as in my more “public” face.
My shadow
Long experience has shown me that when I don’t acknowledge, and deal with, the contents of my shadow, they make their presence felt through unbidden thoughts and impulses, anxiety, dread, panic attacks, depression and bad dreams.
Paying conscious attention to these aspect of myself and exploring their underlying causes helps me to connect with them more fully. This enables me to pray about them, and take action to resolve them. For example, if I remember an unconfessed sin, I can confess it in prayer, then try to make amends by following Jesus’ teaching:
If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23-4; NIV).
Looking ahead
Tomorrow I plan to publish the second part of this series on honest prayer. It will look at Jesus’ shadow, and how he dealt with it. Meanwhile, let’s end with a short reading:
A reading: Psalm 66:16-20; NLT
Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what he did for me. For I cried out to him for help, praising him as I spoke. If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer. Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me.
Today’s verses came to me yesterday morning as I lay in silent prayer shortly after waking up. They arrived with an involuntary groan, and struck me to the heart.
If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God (Matthew 5:23-4; NLT).
I can’t be whole without my shadow, Lord,
Without the parts I bury and deny.
For you know all about me, good and bad:
The sins I haven’t faced, which underlie
The guilt and shame tormenting me within,
My sharp regrets, my cowardice and dread
Of being honest, Lord, with those I’ve hurt.
Please help me to confess at last, instead.
Accepting all the anger I deserve,
I’ll say I’m sorry, ceasing to defend
Myself against the truth of every wrong,
And then my shadow will become my friend.
With you, I’ll face the darkness in my soul;
My conscience will be healed, then I’ll be whole.
He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but His hands make whole (Job 5:18; NKJV).
References
Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).
I know every thought that comes into your minds (Ezekiel 11:5; NLT).
He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).
The LORD’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive (Proverbs 20:27; NLT).
You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).
Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked (1 Timothy 1:19; NLT).
The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith (1 Timothy 1:5; NLT).
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).
Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear (1 Timothy 1:19; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday evening I enjoyed making a long, chunky Fiat rosary, suitable for someone with sensory issues of sight or touch. Fiat rosaries don’t usually have a centrepiece, and in making this one, I discovered a way of managing without, which was new for me. I particularly like the heavy cross, which came as part of a donation of used and broken rosaries. My warm thanks to its generous donor.
