suffering, life, courage, help, bear, illness, mental, physical,, Breast cancer, mastectomy,

May I serve you

 

Lord,

May I serve you
Every day
In all I think, and do,
And say;

In how I bear 
My suffering,
And how I praise, 
Rejoice, and pray.  

I ask this 
Through the Holy One  
Who died for us –
Your only Son. 

 

References 

Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only (Luke 4:8; NIV).

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV).

The baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God (Luke 1:35; NLT).  

God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16; NLT). 

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No need

 

I have no need to ask you
“Lord, why me?”

For you have reasons 
I can never guess. 

I have no impulse, Lord, 
To doubt your love;

You have a plan,    
So my heart is at rest. 

I have no urge 
To crave a miracle;

You have a purpose;
May your will be done. 

I have no motive, Lord,
To make complaint,

For you bring good from all things,
Through your Son. 

 

References

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine” (Isaiah 55:8; NLT).

The Lord will work out his plans for my life (Psalm 138:8; NLT).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Matthew 26:39; NLT).

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28; NRSV). 

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Night fears

 

With every fearful breath, Lord God, 
I turn to you again, again,

Beseeching you to help me face
This cup of suffering and pain.

Then, Lord, you take me in your arms, 
And show me Christ, your Son, your Son,  

Till I share his acceptance, Lord, 
And pray, Your will be done. 

 

References

They went to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and Jesus said, “Sit here while I go and pray” (Mark 14:32; NLT).

He was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood (Luke 22:44; NLT).

Shall I not drink from the cup of suffering the Father has given me? (John 18:11; NLT).

The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you (Deuteronomy 33:27; NLT).

This grace […] has now been revealed through the appearing of our Saviour, Christ Jesus (2 Timothy 1:9-10; NIV).

Your will be done (Matthew 6:10; NLT).

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Reconciliation and healing

 

Two significant events are fast approaching in my life. Firstly, I’m hoping to be received into the Catholic Church, and to make my first communion. Secondly, I’ll be having a mastectomy for breast cancer in about a month. 

As I prepare for both these occasions, I’ve realised that I have only a limited amount of time to resolve various relationship issues that have been weighing on me for several years. I’ll face the surgery far more confidently if I have the peace of mind that comes from knowing I’ve done my best to put things right with those who hold anything against me, in accordance with Jesus’ teaching. Similarly, forgiving those who have hurt me has become an even more urgent task than usual.

So I’ve started contacting people who might be holding a grudge against me. Yesterday, to my delight, someone I thought wasn’t speaking to me responded generously, which was a huge relief. I’ve also written to a religious group I left after getting badly hurt, to see if anyone there still harbours negative feelings towards me. If anyone contacts me in return, I will do whatever I can to repair our relationship. All these issues are reflected in today’s prayer:

 

Lord, 

You’re bringing healing 
From these tumours
As I prepare
To face my surgery

By telling those I’ve hurt
That I am sorry,
And forgiving everyone 
Who has hurt me.

In this way, I will face
My operation
With peace of body, mind,
And even soul,

And this will be
My miracle of healing, 
As you, Lord, touch my heart, 
And make me whole.

 

References

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28; NRSV).

If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23-4; NIV).

Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us (Luke 11:4; NLT).

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7; NIV). 

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound (Isaiah 61:1; NKJV).

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O, my children

 

O, my children, 
Though you weep,

Remember 
I am always near.  

O, my children,
Though you grieve, 

Remember 
I am always here. 

O, my children, 
Though you fail, 

Remember 
You are always dear.

O, my children,
Though you fall, 

Remember me –
And have no fear.

 

References

You are close beside me (Psalm 23:4; NLT).

Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it (Genesis 28:16; NIV).

We know how much God loves us (1 John 4:16; NLT).

The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear (Psalm 118:6; NLT).

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Drink this cup

I wrote this prayer today (5.9.18), at 7.30am, before a hospital visit:

Sit down, my child,
And drink this cup
Of suffering,
Which I have brought. 

Remember all 
That Jesus did,
And practice all
That Jesus taught.

And do not fear
What lies ahead –
The sickness, pain,
And suffering –

Just fix your heart
Upon the prize:
Eternal life,
With Christ, your King.

At 4pm the same day, I learned that I have two invasive cancers in my left breast, so will be having surgery soon. When it seems appropriate, I’ll include news of what’s happening with my daily blogs. If I miss a day or two, which I’ve never done before, you will know there’s a good reason.

References

Shall I not drink from the cup of suffering the Father has given me? (John 18:11; NLT).

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows (John 16:33; NLT).

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? (Matthew 6:27; NLT).

Be strong, and do not fear (Isaiah 35:4; NLT).

I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong (2 Corinthians 12:10; KJV).

I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us (Philippians 3:14; NLT).

For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3; NLT).

Look, your King is coming to you. He is humble, riding on a donkey – riding on a donkey’s colt (Matthew 21:5; NLT). 

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Thy will be done

 

I never need to worry, Lord, 
But think: Thy will be done.

However painful life may be,
I ask: Thy will be done.

And though the worst may happen, Lord,
I say: Thy will be done. 

Then I rejoice and thank you, Lord,  
And pray: Thy will be done.   

 

References

Thy will be done (Matthew 6:10; KJV).

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV).

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