Prayer, suffering, life, courage, help, bear, illness, mental, physical,

I’m empty

No one can receive anything unless God gives it from heaven (John 3:27; NLT).

God gives rest to his loved ones (Psalm 127:2; NLT).

God gives […] joy to those who please him (Ecclesiastes 2:26; NLT).

You will also share in the comfort God gives us (2 Corinthians 1:7; NLT).

He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT).

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I’m empty, Lord –
Restore my bones
With rest.

I’m empty, Lord –
Relieve my mind
With joy.

I’m empty, Lord –
Revive my heart
With comfort.

I’m empty, Lord –
Refill my soul
With love.

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agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, Prayer

Agoraphobia diary: 6am on day 8

Hello everyone. I finally completed yesterday’s marathon challenge with my scheduled evening hospital treatment. Now I’m awake, and preparing to get up before too long. At 9.15  a taxi will pick me up and take me to Liverpool Airport, ready to fly home. The week has seemed to last an age and has tested me pretty thoroughly, but I’ve survived, and learned a lot. Above all, I’ve realised that speaking straightforwardly and honestly about my fears makes them much easier to manage than struggling to conceal them, for fear of being judged.

I’m deeply tired, but plan to end the week’s agoraphobia challenge with a final diary entry  this evening. Then I’ll go back to blogging once each day, as usual. Meanwhile, here is today’s morning prayer:

In honesty

Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

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Lord,

In honesty
With self,
And you,
And others,

Lies freedom,
Healing,
Joy,
And inner peace.

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agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, Prayer, prayer, healing, contemplation, oneness, love,

Agoraphobia diary: 3pm on day 7

Greetings to you all. Well, I’ve done it! Today’s challenge was to travel by train from Loughborough to Warrington, changing at Nottingham, so I’m here in my hotel room now, absolutely drained. At each stage of my journey, just when I was getting anxious about what to do next, there was always a kind person ready to help. Outside Loughborough station, a very nice taxi driver I chatted to for a moment offered me a bottle of water, and we shared a hug. On the platform, the guard was happy to chat, which passed the anxious time until my train arrived, and so on.

Changing at Nottingham was very stressful. My train was already at the platform, but I needed the loos before boarding. They were on another platform, and I felt very rushed. It all worked out in the end, though, and passengers help each other quite a lot.

I had been thinking a good deal about the very long tunnels I knew we would pass through in Derbyshire, but managed surprisingly well. The lit train, the people chatting around me, and the large size of the compartment meant it was considerably less claustrophobic than I expected. My last train journey with major tunnels, taken about 45 years ago, was a traumatic nightmare I prefer to forget. Ever since that day, I’ve had occasional nightmares about being on trains in narrow, dark, never-ending tunnels. It’s only now that I’m beginning to realise just how damaging that journey was, because of my terribly anxious state of mind.

By the time I got to Warrington, I was spent, rather like yesterday afternoon – no thoughts, no fears, no ambitions, just a blank mind, accompanied by a familiar sensation, as if the ground was heaving up and down beneath my feet, like being in a boat. I was so tired that I wandered away from the station in the wrong direction, dimly looking for a taxi rank. To my surprise and sadness, the first person I asked for directions didn’t even register my greeting. Then I met a woman who, though clearly startled to be asked, pointed me in the right direction.

It’s a huge relief to be in my own quiet, dark room now, resting in bed and having lots of hot drinks. So here is today’s prayer, which I wrote during this morning’s contemplation:

Your peace

Lord,

When I reach the station,
May I go in with you.

While I wait for my train,
May your arms encircle me.

As I board it,
May I hold your hand.

When the doors close,
May I know your presence.

As my journey starts,
May we pray together.

When I change trains,
May I share your calm.

During long tunnels,
May I feel your comfort.

When I arrive,
May I thank you deeply.

And, as I go on my way,
May I know your perfect peace.

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Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

Everything I need

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth and the life” (John 14:6; NLT).

Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life” John 6:35; NIV).

Jesus said, “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28; NLT).

You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and your are right, because that’s what I am (John13:13; NLT).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

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Lord Jesus,
You are everything
I need:

My birth,
My life,
My heart-beat,
And my breath;

My bread,
My meat,
My shelter,
And my rest;

My way,
My guide,
My teacher,
And my friend;

My help,
My hope,
My comfort
At life’s end.

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Prayer

Rejoice and weep

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15; NRSV).

God […] comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4; NIV).

In all their suffering he also suffered (Isaiah 63:9; NLT).

God made human beings in his own image (Genesis 9:6; NLT).

……………………………………………………………………………………………..


Lord God,
If we are to rejoice
With all those who rejoice,

And weep
With those who weep,

Then this must be
How you relate to us,

For you made us
In your image.

 

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Personal growth, faith, prayer, contemplation, love, oneness,, Prayer

Source

He will be the source of peace (Micah 5:5; NLT).

God is […] the source of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3; NLT).

God [is] the source of all my joy (Psalm 43:4; NLT).

The Lord is the source of all my righteousness and strength (Isaiah 45:24; NLT).

He became the source of eternal salvation (Hebrews 5:9; NLT).


God [is] the source of hope (Romans 15:13; NLT).

 

Lord,
You are the source
Of all light,
And fire,
And peace;

All comfort,
Joy,
And strength;

All goodness,
Salvation,
And truth;

All faith,
And hope,
And love.

 

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