agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, Prayer

Agoraphobia diary: day 3

Hello to all readers. It’s the third day of my agoraphobia challenge, and today has been an easier day, as anticipated. The effort needed to tolerate my anxieties is very tiring, so I knew I needed to be upfront about that, and not to do too much.

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Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

Agoraphobia diary: day 1

Hello everyone. As promised, here is my usual blog, plus a short report on today’s agoraphobia-defying journey. My husband took me to the Isle of Man airport, and all went well with the flight, though it was a very fast and bumpy landing.  When I got to arrivals at London City my taxi driver wasn’t there. For a moment I felt completely alone and bereft, with no idea what to do. Then I got out my phone and called the company. Within 15 minutes the driver arrived and I was safely in the car, but the experience was definitely stressful. Worth it, though, as whilst I was waiting I saw a cool businessman in a suit glide by on a special scooter that also carried his suitcase.

Traffic on the motorway was very bad, sadly owing to an accident, so after a lot of long queuing, we turned off on to tiny lanes and roads through old villages. It was picturesque, but made me more anxious that I would have been if we’d gone direct, especially as I had no idea where we were. A journey that would normally take two hours took three, and I had to exert myself to relax and let it happen. The driver had Radio 2 on, playing music quietly, but with an insistent drum-beat all the time. I used headphones, tried to sleep etc, but the drumming was unpleasant, very migraine- provoking. After a fair bit of rehearsing, I managed to broach the subject just as we arrived at our destination, having previously felt I couldn’t possibly say anything direct about it.

So, here I am at my hotel in Ely, very tired, but pleased with how the day has gone. Tomorrow I’ve been invited to go to Cambridge by my son’s family. Before I got here, this excursion had been suggested, but felt impossible to me. However, I have now agreed to go, because full “flooding” or immersion treatment is often the most effective. So much more comfortable to cling to the safety of my hotel room and the surrounding streets!

Anyway, here is tonight’s prayer, for regular readers. Hopefully, I’ll be back tomorrow evening to report on the day.

My task

I love you, Lord (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

Love your neighbour as yourself (James 2:8; NLT).

To acquire wisdom is to love oneself (Proverbs 19:8; NLT).

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I love you, Lord,
So now my task
Is learning to love
Everyone on earth –
Including me!

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light, fire, love, peace, prayer, faith, contemplation, God,, Prayer

Vision

They shall beat their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up a sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more (Isaiah 2:4; KJV).

They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain, saith the Lord (Isaiah 65:25; KJV).

God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16; NIV).

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Lord,

Show us all
A vision of your light;

Reveal to us
A vision of your truth;

Please give us all
A vision of your peace;

And share with us
A vision of your love.

But, ah – you have already done
All this,

By sending us your Son,
Born here on Earth.

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Prayer

Nothing at all

Your love for me is very great (Psalm 86:13; NLT).

You will grow as you learn to know God better and better (Colossians 1:10; NLT).

I love you, Lord (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

I am nothing at all (2 Corinthians 12:11; NLT).

 

Lord,
If I had
All the riches
Of the earth,
But did not have
Your love,
I would have
Nothing at all.

And if I had
All the knowledge
In the world,
Yet did not
Know you,
I would know
Nothing at all.

And if I had health,
Beauty,
And strength,
Yet did not
Love you,
I would be
Nothing at all.

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Prayer

Your will be done

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10; NIV).

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows (John 16:33; NLT).

All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time (Jude 1:25; NLT).

Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

 

Lord,
May your will be done on earth,
As it is in heaven.

Please help me to accept
That the past cannot be changed;

That what is now,
Is just as it should be;

And that what will be
Is in accordance with your will.

So, may your will be done on earth,
As it is in heaven.

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Prayer

Heaven and earth

The Lord is God both in heaven and on earth, and there is no other (Deuteronomy 4:39; NLT).

God is light (1 John 1:5; NIV).


The Lord your God is a consuming fire (Deuteronomy 4:24; NIV). 

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NIV).

God is love (1 John 4:16; NIV).

 

Lord, you shine
In heaven and earth,
With sacred light.

You blaze
In heaven and earth,
With holy fire.

You reign
In heaven and earth,
With blessed peace.

You heal
In heaven and earth,
With perfect love.

 

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