Breast cancer, mastectomy,, Faith, hope, love, God, love, Prayer

Keep on praying

When I lose my way to you completely,
May I keep on praying, Lord, 
With faith. 

When I lose my faith in you completely,
May I keep on praying, Lord, 
With hope.

When I lose my sense of hope completely,
May I keep on praying, Lord, 
With trust.

And when I lose my trust in you completely,
May I keep on praying, Lord, 
With love.

 

References

They have lost their way (Jeremiah 50:6; NLT).

Keep on praying (Romans 12:12; NIV).

Have faith in God (Mark 11:22; NLT).

I will put my hope in God (Psalm 42:5; NLT).

If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the Lord (Isaiah 50:10; NLT).

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind (Luke 10:27; NLT).

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Breast cancer, mastectomy,, chronic fatigue, depression, Faith, hope, love, God, Prayer

Speak the truth

Father,

May I always 
Speak the truth 
To you in prayer,

With no pretence, 
”Forgetting”,
Or false shame;

And may I pray 
At all times 
In your Holy Spirit, Lord, 

With faith, and hope, 
And love,
Through your Son’s name.

 

References 

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV). 

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion (Ephesians 6:18; NLT).

Three things will last forever — faith, hope and love — and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT).

Ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it (John 14:14; NLT).

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Breast cancer, mastectomy,, Faith, hope, love, God, Prayer

When we lose our inner light

 

Father,
When we lose
Our inner light,
May we walk by faith, 
Instead of sight. 

Jesus,
When we yield
Those we hold dear, 
May we mourn with hope,
Instead of fear.

Spirit,
When we take 
Our final breath,
May we know your love,
Instead of death. 

 

References

We walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7; NLT).

Your days of mourning will come to an end (Isaiah 60:20; NLT).

Love is as strong as death (Song of Songs 8:6; NLT).

Three things will last forever – faith, hope and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT).

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Breast cancer, mastectomy,, Faith, hope, love, God, Prayer

Rejoice in God

 

Rejoice in God
Both night and day;  

Give thanks to him,
And always pray.

Put all your faith
In God above;

Don’t give up hope,
But grow in love.  

 

References

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV).

Three things will last forever – faith, hope and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT).

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Breast cancer, mastectomy,, Personal growth, faith, prayer, contemplation, love, oneness,

You are the way

 

You are the way 
We dare not take;

You are the hope 
We dare not wake. 

You are the step
We dare not try;  

You are the word 
We dare not cry.

You are the life
We dare not live;

You are the love
We dare not give.

You are the guide 
We dare not ask;

You are the truth
We dare not grasp. 

You are the fire
We dare not face;

Yet you are the Lord,
Our resting-place.

 

References

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6; NLT).

His name will be the hope of all the world (Matthew 12:21; NLT).

In the beginning was the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God (John 1:1; NLT).

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them (Romans 12.9; NLT).

I am the good shepherd (John 10:14; NLT).

The Lord your God is a consuming fire (Deuteronomy 4:24).

You have not yet reached the resting-place and the inheritance the Lord your God is giving you (Deuteronomy 12:9; NIV).

Then Jesus said, “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28; NLT).

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agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, anxiety, Breast cancer, mastectomy,, change, Prayer, suffering

A dream 16.10.18.

 

Last night, almost a week after my mother’s death, I had my standard, repetitive, university undergraduate bad dream for the millionth time. It goes like this: I have just returned for the next academic year, but am already missing lectures and falling behind with my assignments. I have far too many conflicting things to do. I’m not coping, and feel acutely stressed and anxious. 

However, last night’s dream had some new features. The first was that I bumped into an acquaintance whilst walking through the crowded campus. We talked briefly about the many people we knew who had dropped out of their courses. In fact, he and I seemed to be the only ones who had returned from the previous year. 

The second fresh detail was that I spontaneously joined in with a children’s game, dancing around the outside of their circle, to increase their pleasure and excitement. At the same time, I was keeping a close eye on how each one was coping, ready to tone down my approach if it seemed to be too stressful for some of them. The children belonged to the university crèche, and were playing out of doors with their carers. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed being with them, as this was something I had never experienced before. 

Then came a third new ingredient. I was walking back towards my room with two women students I’d just met in a campus clothes shop. One went a little ahead on her own, whilst I linked arms with the other, chatting in a friendly way. The first woman had seemed cheerful earlier, but now she was silent and looked very tense. As we continued to walk, I found myself wondering whether she might perhaps be feeling anxious, or even panicky. 

Then, suddenly, I saw myself in her – my repeated attempts to get a degree, each ending in failure and breakdown because of suicidal depression, acute anxiety, and severe panic attacks. All these issues went on to become a chronic, ongoing struggle with mental illness and agoraphobia that has dominated my life.

I turned to my new companion, explaining how I thought our friend might be feeling. Then, to my great surprise, I heard myself say that I wished I was working on the campus, perhaps in the clothes shop, or at the crèche, rather than studying. That way, I could still escape from my mother and have something of a university experience, but without the unmanageable demands of academic life on top of so much mental pain.

As I said this, I realised how significant it was, and that I didn’t have to put myself through the impossible stresses of trying to get a degree. For the first time ever during these repetitive university dreams, I saw that I had a choice. Other paths in life were still possible, perhaps even enjoyable, and although I was already part-way through my degree course, it wasn’t too late to make a change. At this thought, my heart leapt with joy, and I was filled with new and unaccustomed hope. Then I woke up.

My university failure dream has never ended like this before, so I decided to catch hold of the experience before it faded, and to share it with you, my online friends.

 

References

Darkness is my closest friend (Psalm 88:18; NLT).

The lame will leap like a deer (Isaiah 35:6; NLT).

“I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11; NLT).

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Breast cancer, mastectomy,, Faith, hope, love, God, Prayer

When we cannot see you

 

When we cannot see you
Face to face,
Nothing’s more important, Lord, 
Than faith. 

When we’re really struggling 
To cope,
Nothing’s more important, Lord, 
Than hope.

When we start to doubt 
You’re there, above, 
Nothing’s more important, Lord, 
Than love.

When its time for us 
To say Adieu, 
Nothing’s more important, Lord, 
Than you.   

 

References

Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT).

Have faith in God (Mark 11:22; NLT).

We put our hope in the Lord (Psalm 33:20; NLT).

If we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us (1 John 4:12; NLT).

We brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave (1 Timothy 6:7; NLT).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind (Luke 10:27; NLT).

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