8.11.13.

 

Hello, my name is Ruth, and I’m a Christian, Catholic writer. I live with with chronic fatigue, invasive breast cancer, neuropathic pain, and various other medical conditions. I also have extensive experience of panic, agoraphobia, depression and anxiety, both personally and professionally. Whilst I’m praying I often have insights, which I try to express in writing. Then I share them with others via my website, twitter and Facebook.

I publish a short, original blog each day, praying for those who read it, as well as for all those who do not. I very much hope you will find something on my site that interests or helps you, and I welcome feedback and correspondence.

With best wishes, from Ruth xxxx

http://www.ruthkirk.org

You love me

 

Father,
You love me,
So nothing else matters –

Not even trials
Or fears. 

Jesus,
You love me,
So nothing else matters –

Not even sorrow
Or tears.

Mary, 
You love me,
So nothing else matters –

Not even sickness
Or stress. 

Spirit,
You love me,
So nothing else matters –

Not even life, Lord, 
Or death.

 

References

He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT).

You’re here

 

I don’t have to search
For a temple or church  
To worship you, Father –    
You’re here.  

I don’t have to thirst
For the land of your birth  
To follow you, Jesus –   
You’re here. 

I don’t have to pray
At a shrine far away
To seek your help, Mary –
You’re here.

I don’t have to go
Back to Pentecost, so
I can blaze with you, Spirit – 
You’re here;

For my flesh is your temple, 
My mind is your home,
My heart is your shrine,
And my soul is your own.

 

References

We are the temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:16; NLT).

It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20; NLT).

He said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home (John 19:27; NLT). 

You have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you (1 John 2:27; NLT).

The kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21; NKJV).

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind (Luke 10:27; NLT).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

You’re my Father

 

Lord God, 
You’re my Father,
So I never feel alone.

Mary,
You’re my Mother,
For I have none of my own. 

Spirit,
You’re my Comforter,
My Advocate and Friend.

Jesus, 
You’re my Saviour 
And my Shepherd, to life’s end. 

 

References

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name (Matthew 6:9; RSV).

He said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home (John 19:27; NLT). 

He will give you another Advocate [Comforter, Encourager, Counsellor], who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth (John 14:16-17; NLT). 

Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18; RSV).

I am the good shepherd; I know my own and they know me (John 10:14; RSV).

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).

Ask, seek, knock

Can a person do anything to help God? Can even a wise person be helpful to him? (Job 22:2; NLT).

If I were hungry, I would not tell you, for all the world is mine and everything in it (Psalm 50:7,12; NLT).

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you (Matthew 7:7; NLT).

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12; NIV).


Father,

There is nothing I can do
To impress you.

Neither do you need my help
In any way.

Yet still you love me,
And desire my love.

So I’ll keep on
Seeking you,

And  knocking at your door,
Until it opens.

Then I will see you,
Face to face, at last,

And know you fully,
Just as I am fully known.

Chosen One

 

Lord Jesus,
You are God’s Chosen One.
Please help me to listen for your voice.

Lord Jesus,
You are the way. 
Please help me to follow your path.

Lord Jesus,
You are the truth. 
Please help me to live by your gospel.

Lord Jesus,
You are the life. 
Please help me to serve you with a willing heart.

 

References

This is my Son, my Chosen One. Listen to him (Luke 9:35; NLT).

I am the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6; NLT).

Worship and serve him with your whole heart and a willing mind (1 Chronicles 28:9; NLT).

A Gethsemane experience

 

On the day of my mastectomy, as I waited on a trolley outside the anaesthetic room, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a profound terror of suffering and death, just as Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane. I felt completely helpless, despairing and alone, shaking uncontrollably with cold and fear. 

Then my surgeon entered the room in blue scrubs. She must have seen at once how distressed I was, because she came straight over to me, putting her arms around me and bending down to lay her head gently on my chest. She seemed like an angel of comfort and strength. I managed to whisper, through chattering teeth, “I’m so frightened!” She didn’t even speak, just held me as I sobbed helplessly. 

After a time, realising how cold I was, she moved to stand behind me, rubbing my arms to warm me, until I was pushed into an ante-room and quickly, skilfully anaesthetised. 

That evening, after the surgery, I wept again. I felt as if I had experienced something of what Christ suffered in Gethsemane, just as those gazing at a representation of Jesus on the cross occasionally undergo the pain and powerlessness of his crucifixion. 

Next day, however, I realised that rather than we ordinary mortals sometimes sharing what Jesus experienced, it was, in fact, he who fully shared our primeval, human terror in the face of imminent suffering and death.

 Of course, there are major differences between my experience and his. I was facing my profound fear of anaesthesia and surgery solely for my own benefit. Jesus, on the other hand, was facing betrayal, torture and death so our sins could be forgiven. I hope I will never cease to thank him for what he faced and endured for our sake.

 

References

My heart pounds in my chest. The terror of death assaults me. Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking (Psalm 55:4-5; NLT).

They went to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and Jesus said, “Sit here while I go and pray.” He took Peter, James and John with him, and he became deeply troubled and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” He went on a little further and fell to the ground. He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by (Mark 14:32-5; NLT).  

Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him. He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood (Luke 22:43-4; NLT).

Angels came and took care of Jesus (Matthew 4:11; NLT).

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace (Ephesians 1:7; NIV).

God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8, NRSV).