light, fire, love, peace, prayer, faith, contemplation, God,, Prayer

Your ways

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine” (Isaiah 55:8; NLT).

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand (Philippians 4:7; NLT).

For you, a thousand years as a passing day, as brief as a few night hours (Psalm 90:4; NLT).

God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us (1 John 4:13; NLT).

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever (Psalm 73:26; NLT).

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Lord,

Your ways
Are far beyond
My understanding;

Your peace
Is far beyond
What I can share.

Your light
Is far beyond
My human vision;

Your fire
Is far beyond
What I can bear.

Your thoughts
Are far beyond
My comprehension;

Your years
Are far beyond
What I can chart.

Your love
Is far beyond
My weak discernment;

Yet your Spirit
Dwells forever
In my heart.

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light, fire, love, peace, prayer, faith, contemplation, God,, Prayer

We share your light

We now have this light shining in our hearts (2 Corinthians 4:7; NLT).

My beloved is mine and I am his (Song of Songs 2:16; NIV).

We have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16; NLT).

I will give them one heart (Jeremiah 32:39; NLT).

Whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit (1 Corinthians 6:17; NIV).

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Lord God,
We share your light,
Your truth,
Your peace.

Lord God,
We share your faith,
Your hope,
Your love.

Lord God,
We share your mind,
Your heart,
Your soul.

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agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, Prayer

Agoraphobia diary: 6am on day 8

Hello everyone. I finally completed yesterday’s marathon challenge with my scheduled evening hospital treatment. Now I’m awake, and preparing to get up before too long. At 9.15  a taxi will pick me up and take me to Liverpool Airport, ready to fly home. The week has seemed to last an age and has tested me pretty thoroughly, but I’ve survived, and learned a lot. Above all, I’ve realised that speaking straightforwardly and honestly about my fears makes them much easier to manage than struggling to conceal them, for fear of being judged.

I’m deeply tired, but plan to end the week’s agoraphobia challenge with a final diary entry  this evening. Then I’ll go back to blogging once each day, as usual. Meanwhile, here is today’s morning prayer:

In honesty

Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

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Lord,

In honesty
With self,
And you,
And others,

Lies freedom,
Healing,
Joy,
And inner peace.

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agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, Prayer, prayer, healing, contemplation, oneness, love,

Agoraphobia diary: 3pm on day 7

Greetings to you all. Well, I’ve done it! Today’s challenge was to travel by train from Loughborough to Warrington, changing at Nottingham, so I’m here in my hotel room now, absolutely drained. At each stage of my journey, just when I was getting anxious about what to do next, there was always a kind person ready to help. Outside Loughborough station, a very nice taxi driver I chatted to for a moment offered me a bottle of water, and we shared a hug. On the platform, the guard was happy to chat, which passed the anxious time until my train arrived, and so on.

Changing at Nottingham was very stressful. My train was already at the platform, but I needed the loos before boarding. They were on another platform, and I felt very rushed. It all worked out in the end, though, and passengers help each other quite a lot.

I had been thinking a good deal about the very long tunnels I knew we would pass through in Derbyshire, but managed surprisingly well. The lit train, the people chatting around me, and the large size of the compartment meant it was considerably less claustrophobic than I expected. My last train journey with major tunnels, taken about 45 years ago, was a traumatic nightmare I prefer to forget. Ever since that day, I’ve had occasional nightmares about being on trains in narrow, dark, never-ending tunnels. It’s only now that I’m beginning to realise just how damaging that journey was, because of my terribly anxious state of mind.

By the time I got to Warrington, I was spent, rather like yesterday afternoon – no thoughts, no fears, no ambitions, just a blank mind, accompanied by a familiar sensation, as if the ground was heaving up and down beneath my feet, like being in a boat. I was so tired that I wandered away from the station in the wrong direction, dimly looking for a taxi rank. To my surprise and sadness, the first person I asked for directions didn’t even register my greeting. Then I met a woman who, though clearly startled to be asked, pointed me in the right direction.

It’s a huge relief to be in my own quiet, dark room now, resting in bed and having lots of hot drinks. So here is today’s prayer, which I wrote during this morning’s contemplation:

Your peace

Lord,

When I reach the station,
May I go in with you.

While I wait for my train,
May your arms encircle me.

As I board it,
May I hold your hand.

When the doors close,
May I know your presence.

As my journey starts,
May we pray together.

When I change trains,
May I share your calm.

During long tunnels,
May I feel your comfort.

When I arrive,
May I thank you deeply.

And, as I go on my way,
May I know your perfect peace.

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light, fire, love, peace, prayer, faith, contemplation, God,, Prayer

Your light dazzles me

God is light (1 John 1:5; NIV).

God is a consuming fire (Deuteronomy 4:24; NIV).

The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).

God is love (1 John 4:16; NIV).

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).

God is Spirit (John 4:24; NLT).

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Lord God,

Your light
Dazzles me;

Your fire
Scorches me;

Your truth
Humbles me;

Your love
Comforts me;

Your peace
Restores me;

And your Spirit
Strengthens me.

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Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

In shared silence

Be silent before the Sovereign Lord (Zephaniah 1:7; NIV).

If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person (Matthew 5:23; NLT).

Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others (Colossians 3:13; NLT).

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another (John 13:34; NIV).

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In shared silence
There is reconciliation –

Forgiveness,
Healing,

Fellowship,
And love.

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light, fire, love, peace, prayer, faith, contemplation, God,, Prayer

May we bud in your light

God is light (1 John 1:5; NIV).

The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).

God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NIV).

My people will again live under my shade. They will flourish like grain and blossom like grapevines (Hosea 14:7; NLT).

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Lord,

May we bud
In your light,

Grow
In your truth,

Bloom
In your love,

And flourish
In your peace,

For evermore.

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