agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, Prayer

Agoraphobia diary: 6.30am on day 4

Greetings to you all. This is the fourth day of my agoraphobia challenge, and it’s amazing what foolish things my mind can attach my anxiety to. As the time with my family draws to a close, I’m still ruminating about how to manage my luggage. Before I arrived in Ely I sent a bag of clothes ahead so as not to have a heavy, unmanageable suitcase. So by the time I leave Ely on Tuesday for the next leg of my journey, I need to change into clean clothes, then ask my son to wash the dirty dirty ones, parcel them up, and send them back. This seems like an appalling thing to ask of anyone, so I’ve been worrying about it for days. You might say it’s not really part of being agoraphobic, but in fact it’s all part of not wanting to be any trouble, not attracting any attention to myself, and, above all, not wanting to presume on others in case they reject me. All these things were big no-no’s during my childhood, and I still struggle hard with them. I guess that partly explains why I never developed the confidence to cope with life.

Anyway, the plan for the morning (worked out over a very good dinner at Pizza Express), is to meet in a coffee shop, then go round Ely Cathedral. It might make you smile to hear that though I’ve visited Ely Cathedral  quite a  number of times, and love it dearly, I’ve only once, many years ago, gone past the barrier where people pay to enter. Normally, I confine myself to the free side-chapel for private prayer, and the excellent shop. Spending money to go round the whole building just seems too extravagant, and I’ve never overcome this. Hopefully, with encouragement, I’ll do better today!

After all that tangled thinking, here is today’s prayer, which is perhaps rather suitable for reflecting on whilst visiting one of the most magnificent, beautiful and richly-decorated buildings in the world…

 

We are one

I praise you! (Psalm 63:3; NLT).

You alone are the one we worship (Isaiah 26:134; NLT).

I love you, Lord (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one (John 17:22; NIV).

**********************************

It makes no sense
To say, “I praise you, Lord,”
For we are one.

It makes no sense
To say, “I worship you”,
For we are one.

It makes no sense
To say, “I love you, Lord”,
For we are one.

Yet still I say
These things to you each day –
For we are one.

Advertisements
Standard
Prayer, prayer, healing, contemplation, oneness, love,

Beyond

How great is God – beyond our understanding! (Job 36:26; NIV).

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine” (Isaiah 55:8; NLT).

He hears my voice (Psalm 55:17; NIV).

***********************************************

Lord God,
You are beyond
Our understanding;

Far beyond
Our thoughts,
And all our ways;

Far beyond
Our weak
Imagination –

Yet not beyond
Our love, and prayers,
And praise.

Standard
Prayer, prayer, healing, contemplation, oneness, love,

I don’t just want to pray

Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV).

Work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically (Romans 12:11; NLT).

Praise God (Psalm 68:26; NLT).

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them (Romans 12:9; NLT).

***************************************

 

Lord God,

I don’t just want to pray –
I want my life to be
Continual prayer.

I don’t just want to serve –
I want my life to be
Continual service.

I don’t just want to praise –
I want my life to be
Continual worship.

I don’t just want to care –
I want my life to be
Continual love.

 

Standard
Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

One breath at a time

Keep on seeking, and you will find (Matthew 7:7; NLT).

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind (Luke 10:27; NLT).

Let all that I am praise the Lord (Psalm 103:1; NLT).

You must worship the Lord your God and serve only him (Luke 4:8; NLT).

***************************

Lord,

May I seek you
One breath at a time;

Love you
One thought at a time;

Praise you
One word at a time;

And serve you
One step at a time –

Right now!

Standard
body, mind, heart, soul, realisation, important, prayer, contemplation,, Prayer

When silence is too much

Be silent before the Sovereign Lord (Zephaniah 1:7; NIV).

Never stop praying (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NLT).

I love you, Lord (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

Praise the Lord (Psalm 68:19; NLT).

**************************

When silence
Is too much
For me to bear, Lord,

May I whisper
Love and praise,
In simple prayer.

Standard
Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

You create the light

 

Lord, you create the light,
And make the darkness.

You are the one who wounds,
And the one who heals.

You are the source of good,
And the source of trouble.

You are the one who gives,
And who takes away.

But, living and dying,
We always belong to you, Lord,

Though we can’t grasp
The mystery of your ways;

Nor can we understand
Your love and wisdom –

Yet, may we praise your name
Throughout all our days.

 

References

I create the light and make darkness. I send good times and bad times (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

I am the one who wounds and heals (Deuteronomy 32:39; NLT).

Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? (Job 2:10; NIV).

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised (Job 1:21; NIV).

Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord (Romans 14:8; NIV).

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine” (Isaiah 55:8; NLT).

You cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things (Ecclesiastes 11:5; NLT).

The wisdom we speak of is the mystery of God (1 Corinthians 2:7; NLT).

I will constantly speak his praises (Psalm 34:1; NLT).

 

 

Standard
Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

Open my eyes

Open my eyes (Psalm 119:18; NLT).

God is love (1 John 4:16; NIV).

********************************

 

Lord,

Open my eyes,
So I may see your beauty;

Open my ears,
So I may hear your voice.

Open my mind,
So I may grasp your message;

Open my mouth,
So I may sing your praise.

Open my wounds,
So I may share your passion;

Open my hands,
So I may sow your peace.

Open my heart,
So I may know your presence;

Open my soul,
So I may spread your love.

Standard