body, mind, heart, soul, realisation, important, prayer, contemplation,, Prayer

No closer

You are the temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:16; NLT).

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed (Mark 1:35; NIV).

Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it (Genesis 28:16; NIV).

After the fire [there was] a still small voice (1 Kings 19:12; NKJV).

Listen to his voice (Deuteronomy 13:4; NLT).

Be silent before the Sovereign Lord (Zephaniah 1:7; NIV).

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We are no closer to you, Lord, in contemplation,
Than we are at any other time,

For you are always here,
Within us all.

Rather, we can be more aware of your presence
During contemplation,

When we leave our busy, noisy world behind,
So we can listen for your still, small voice

In silence.

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agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, Prayer, prayer, healing, contemplation, oneness, love,

Agoraphobia diary: 3pm on day 7

Greetings to you all. Well, I’ve done it! Today’s challenge was to travel by train from Loughborough to Warrington, changing at Nottingham, so I’m here in my hotel room now, absolutely drained. At each stage of my journey, just when I was getting anxious about what to do next, there was always a kind person ready to help. Outside Loughborough station, a very nice taxi driver I chatted to for a moment offered me a bottle of water, and we shared a hug. On the platform, the guard was happy to chat, which passed the anxious time until my train arrived, and so on.

Changing at Nottingham was very stressful. My train was already at the platform, but I needed the loos before boarding. They were on another platform, and I felt very rushed. It all worked out in the end, though, and passengers help each other quite a lot.

I had been thinking a good deal about the very long tunnels I knew we would pass through in Derbyshire, but managed surprisingly well. The lit train, the people chatting around me, and the large size of the compartment meant it was considerably less claustrophobic than I expected. My last train journey with major tunnels, taken about 45 years ago, was a traumatic nightmare I prefer to forget. Ever since that day, I’ve had occasional nightmares about being on trains in narrow, dark, never-ending tunnels. It’s only now that I’m beginning to realise just how damaging that journey was, because of my terribly anxious state of mind.

By the time I got to Warrington, I was spent, rather like yesterday afternoon – no thoughts, no fears, no ambitions, just a blank mind, accompanied by a familiar sensation, as if the ground was heaving up and down beneath my feet, like being in a boat. I was so tired that I wandered away from the station in the wrong direction, dimly looking for a taxi rank. To my surprise and sadness, the first person I asked for directions didn’t even register my greeting. Then I met a woman who, though clearly startled to be asked, pointed me in the right direction.

It’s a huge relief to be in my own quiet, dark room now, resting in bed and having lots of hot drinks. So here is today’s prayer, which I wrote during this morning’s contemplation:

Your peace

Lord,

When I reach the station,
May I go in with you.

While I wait for my train,
May your arms encircle me.

As I board it,
May I hold your hand.

When the doors close,
May I know your presence.

As my journey starts,
May we pray together.

When I change trains,
May I share your calm.

During long tunnels,
May I feel your comfort.

When I arrive,
May I thank you deeply.

And, as I go on my way,
May I know your perfect peace.

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Prayer, suffering, life, courage, help, bear, illness, mental, physical,

I can’t sleep

Here I am (1 Samuel 3:4; NIV).

The life of every living thing is in his hand (Job 12:10; NLT).

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28; NLT).

You have brought me into your presence forever (Psalm 41:12; NLT).

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Lord God,
I can’t sleep.

Here I am,
In your hand,

With nothing
To do,

And nothing
To say.

So many
Are sleepless;

I pray
For us all:

May we rest
In your presence,

Until break
Of day.

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Personal growth, faith, prayer, contemplation, love, oneness,, Prayer

Today

You are close beside me (Psalm 23:4; NLT).

Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV).

Their eyes were opened, and they recognised him (Luke 24:31; NLT).

There is a spirit within people, the breath of the Almighty within them (Job 32:8; NLT).

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Lord,
Please help me
To know your presence,
To pray constantly,
And to recognise you
In all I meet today.

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Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

Open my eyes

Open my eyes (Psalm 119:18; NLT).

God is love (1 John 4:16; NIV).

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Lord,

Open my eyes,
So I may see your beauty;

Open my ears,
So I may hear your voice.

Open my mind,
So I may grasp your message;

Open my mouth,
So I may sing your praise.

Open my wounds,
So I may share your passion;

Open my hands,
So I may sow your peace.

Open my heart,
So I may know your presence;

Open my soul,
So I may spread your love.

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Personal growth, faith, prayer, contemplation, love, oneness,, Prayer

Shatter the windows!

You will free the captives from prison, releasing those who sit in dark dungeons (Isaiah 42:7; NLT).

What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law […] For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either (Matthew 23:13; NLT).

Be still in the presence of the Lord (Psalm 37:7; NLT).

Be silent before the Sovereign Lord (Zephaniah 1:7; NIV).

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Shatter the windows!
Smash down the doors!

Do what you need to,
So you can escape

The prison of
Conventional religious faith.

Then, experience
The presence of our God,

In stillness,
And in silence –

For yourself.

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