Cross, death, love, oneness, pain, sin, suffering, unity

Leave sin behind


May I leave sin behind,
And turn again to you;
Then I will face this troubled life,
And see my trials through.

May I leave self behind,
And follow Christ, your Son;
Then I will bear my cross, like him,
And serve till life is done.

May I leave all behind,
And ask your Spirit’s aid;
Then I will live in love for all
I meet, before I fade.

May I leave life behind
Without a backward glance;
Then I will reunite with you,
And join your timeless dance.



Get rid of your sins, and leave all iniquity behind you (Job 11:14; NLT).

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows (John 16:33; NLT).

If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me (Matthew 16:24; NLT).

He will give you another Advocate [Comforter, Encourager, Counsellor], who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth (John 14:16-17; NLT).

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them (Romans 12.9; NLT).

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it (Luke 9:24; NLT).

Anyone who puts a hand to the plough and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God (Luke 9:62; NLT).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

For you, a thousand years are as a passing day, as brief as a few night hours (Psalm 90:4; NLT).


light, prayer, healing, contemplation, oneness, love,

A dream (27 February 2019)

Early yesterday morning, I had a strange and vivid dream, which I would like to share with you:

I’m sinking deep into my self, towards a small, intense, single cell of white light. It has a clearly outlined border, and a dark nucleus. I watch it slowly moving and changing shape, rather like an amoeba. It is alive.

As I descend towards it, I begin to realise that this light is far larger and brighter than it seemed at first. I plunge into it. The light surrounds and inundates me completely. Instantly, I lose all sight and sense of it having any boundaries at all. It is limitless. 

Then I understand that this light is God. There is no separation between it and myself, other people, animals, creation, the living, the dead, past, present, or future. Rather, all things are the infinite, incomprehensible oneness of God, who is, “Over all, in all, and living through all”.

Then I woke up, daylight streaming into my room. Later, whilst I was dressing, it came into my mind that no matter what happens, I am healed. 

Afterwards, I wrote down everything I had seen, experienced and understood, feeling stunned, awed, humbled, and utterly silenced. 

Friends, I have always known that one day the prayers God gives me would come to an end. It may be that I have reached that point, but I simply don’t know yet. Time will tell. 



God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).

No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:39; NLT).

How great is God – beyond our understanding (Job 36:26; NIV).

There is […] one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).

O Lord, please leave me – I’m too much of a sinner to be around you (Luke 5:8; NLT).

Breast cancer, mastectomy,, love, oneness, Prayer

We are one

Abba, Lord, I know how much 
You love me,

And I love you, Lord:
Father, Spirit, Son;

So every time 
I fail to love myself, Lord,

Please help me to remember
We are one.



He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT).

I love you, Lord (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

To acquire wisdom is to love oneself (Proverbs 19:8; NLT).

Love your neighbour as yourself (Mark 12:31; NLT).

Whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit (1 Corinthians 6:17; NIV).

Breast cancer, mastectomy,, solitude, silence, stillness, darkness, contemplation, prayer,

In silent prayer


In silent prayer,
I face my inner wasteland.

In silent prayer,
I face temptation, too.

In silent prayer,
I face my fears and failures.

In silent prayer,
I face my self, like you. 



Be silent before the Sovereign Lord (Zephaniah 1:7; NIV).

Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer (Luke 5:16; NLT).

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted (Matthew 4:1; NLT).

body, mind, heart, soul, realisation, important, prayer, contemplation,, Breast cancer, mastectomy,

Draw me ever closer


Draw me ever closer 
To your mind, 
So I may share your love 
For humankind.

Draw me ever closer
To your heart, 
So you and I may never 
Be apart.

Draw me ever closer
To your soul,
So I may lose my self, 
And reach my goal.

(With many thanks to E.M.)



God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16; NLT).

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love (Galatians 5:6; NIV).

Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them (1 John 4:16; NIV).

I am convinced that neither death nor life […] nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-9; NIV).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14; NIV).

body, mind, heart, soul, realisation, important, prayer, contemplation,

Self and soul


My self is made of thoughts,

Which come and go, 
And change, Lord, 
Always new;

And though all these 
Will end, Lord, 
At my passing,

My soul won’t change,
For it is part 
Of you.



I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5; NLT).

I am the Lord and I do not change (Malachi 3:6; NLT).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

death, prayer, healing, contemplation, oneness, love,




Though I will lose my self  
In death,

My soul will join with yours
For evermore.



What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? (Luke 9:25; NIV).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

God is Spirit (John 4:24; NLT).