body, mind, heart, soul, realisation, important, prayer, contemplation,, Prayer

My dull mind

The Lord […] reveals his thoughts to mankind (Amos 4:13; NLT).

God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son (John 3:16; NLT).

I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one (John 17:22; NIV).

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Lord,

May my dull mind
Be one with yours,
So I can share your thoughts
In contemplation.

May my cold heart
Be one with yours,
So I can share your love
For every person.

May my small soul,
Be one with yours,
So I can share
Your unity with all.

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agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, cycling,, Prayer, prayer, healing, contemplation, oneness, love,

Agoraphobia diary: 3pm on day 7

Greetings to you all. Well, I’ve done it! Today’s challenge was to travel by train from Loughborough to Warrington, changing at Nottingham, so I’m here in my hotel room now, absolutely drained. At each stage of my journey, just when I was getting anxious about what to do next, there was always a kind person ready to help. Outside Loughborough station, a very nice taxi driver I chatted to for a moment offered me a bottle of water, and we shared a hug. On the platform, the guard was happy to chat, which passed the anxious time until my train arrived, and so on.

Changing at Nottingham was very stressful. My train was already at the platform, but I needed the loos before boarding. They were on another platform, and I felt very rushed. It all worked out in the end, though, and passengers help each other quite a lot.

I had been thinking a good deal about the very long tunnels I knew we would pass through in Derbyshire, but managed surprisingly well. The lit train, the people chatting around me, and the large size of the compartment meant it was considerably less claustrophobic than I expected. My last train journey with major tunnels, taken about 45 years ago, was a traumatic nightmare I prefer to forget. Ever since that day, I’ve had occasional nightmares about being on trains in narrow, dark, never-ending tunnels. It’s only now that I’m beginning to realise just how damaging that journey was, because of my terribly anxious state of mind.

By the time I got to Warrington, I was spent, rather like yesterday afternoon – no thoughts, no fears, no ambitions, just a blank mind, accompanied by a familiar sensation, as if the ground was heaving up and down beneath my feet, like being in a boat. I was so tired that I wandered away from the station in the wrong direction, dimly looking for a taxi rank. To my surprise and sadness, the first person I asked for directions didn’t even register my greeting. Then I met a woman who, though clearly startled to be asked, pointed me in the right direction.

It’s a huge relief to be in my own quiet, dark room now, resting in bed and having lots of hot drinks. So here is today’s prayer, which I wrote during this morning’s contemplation:

Your peace

Lord,

When I reach the station,
May I go in with you.

While I wait for my train,
May your arms encircle me.

As I board it,
May I hold your hand.

When the doors close,
May I know your presence.

As my journey starts,
May we pray together.

When I change trains,
May I share your calm.

During long tunnels,
May I feel your comfort.

When I arrive,
May I thank you deeply.

And, as I go on my way,
May I know your perfect peace.

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Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

No matter what befalls us

God is light (1 John 1:5; NIV).

God [is] the source of all my joy (Psalm 43:4; NLT).

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NIV).

God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).

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Lord,

No matter
What befalls us,

May we live
In your light,

Share
In your joy,

Rest
In your peace,

And dwell
In your love –

For evermore.

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Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

Golden light

God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5; NIV).

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it (John 1:5; NLT).

Let these lights in the sky shine down on the earth (Genesis 1:15; NLT).

I lavish unfailing love […] on those who love me and obey my commands (Exodus 20:6; NLT).

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Golden light
And glowing darkness,

Silver moon,
And shining sea –

Lord, you give us
All these blessings,

And you share them all
With me.

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Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

May we welcome all

The kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21; KJV).

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms (Deuteronomy 33:27; NIV).

Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house; I will worship at your temple (Psalm 5:7; NLT).

The grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people (Titus 2:11; NLT).

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Lord,

May we welcome all
Into your kingdom,

May we offer all
Your warm embrace;

May we usher all
Into your temple,

And may we share with all
Your perfect grace.

 

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Prayer, spiritual development, personal growth, faith, exploration, wholeness,

Darkness

The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness (Psalm 18:28; NLT).

Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

When completeness comes, what is in part disappears (1 Corinthians 13:10; NLT).

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Lord,
I’ve always kept my shadow self
In darkness,

Shunning the thoughts
I’d rather not accept;

But now, I’m sharing
My whole self with you,

So these thoughts become the cure
That makes me whole.

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