Faith, hope, love, God, healing, Prayer

I praise you

 

Father God,
I praise you –
You are so kind to me.

Father God,
I thank you –
You heal, and set me free.

Father God,
I love you –
You wash away my sin.

Father God,
I serve you –
My Saviour, and my King.

 

References

How kind the Lord is! (Psalm 116:5; NLT).

He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases (Psalm 103:3; NLT).

He is the God […] who sets me free from my enemies (2 Samuel 22:49; NIV).

You are my Father, my God, the Rock my Saviour (Psalm 89:26; NIV).

You are my King (Psalm 44:4; NLT).

 

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Breast cancer, mastectomy,, Breathing problems, chronic fatigue, Faith, hope, love, God, Prayer

When I’m sick

 

When I’m sick, Lord,
Help me still to serve you.

When I’m hurt, Lord,
Help me to forgive.

When I sin, Lord,
Help me to say sorry.

Then, though I am dust,
I’ll fully live!

 

References

Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only (Luke 4:8; NIV).

When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too (Mark 11:25; NLT). 

If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23-4; NIV). 

I am nothing but dust and ashes (Genesis 18:27; NIV).

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10; NIV). 

 

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Forgive, blame, anger, turn cheek, hurt, prayer,

Daily prayer

Lord, 

May I grasp what’s private,
And respect it; 

Confess each sin to you
Immediately; 

Say sorry 
When I hurt another person, 

And hurry to forgive 
Those who hurt me.  

 

References

A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence (Proverbs 11:13; NLT).

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9; RSV). 

If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23-4; NIV). 

If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15; NLT).

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Breast cancer, mastectomy,, prayer, healing, contemplation, oneness, love,

Less of me

Lord God,
May there be less of me,

With all my sins 
And weaknesses,

And more of you
Within me every day,

Until we live as one
In our shared love.  

Then death will hold 
No fears for me — 

I’ll leave my body
Far behind,

And fully reunite
With you, 

In heart, and soul,
And mind.

 

References

The Father and I are one (John 10:30; NLT).

O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? 
(1 Corinthians 15:55; NLT).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind (Luke 10:27; NLT).

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Breast cancer, mastectomy,, Personal growth, faith, prayer, contemplation, love, oneness,, sin

The dance of love

 

Despite our faults 
You love us, Lord,
And long 
To help us grow.

Despite our sins 
You care for us
And want your love 
To flow 

Through us 
To other people,
To earth 
And sky above –

Lord,
Heal our selfish hearts,
So we can join 
Your dance of love. 

 

References

He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT).

We are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ (Ephesians 4:15; RSV).

He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7; NIV).

There is […] one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through alL (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).

The hearts of these people are hardened (Matthew 13:15; NLT).

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT). 

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love (Galatians 5:6; NIV).

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You witness all we think

 

You witness all we think,
And say, and do.

The secrets of our hearts
Are known to you.

You mark each sin,  
And yet you love us so.

You mark each sin – 
And wait to help us grow.

 

References

Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).

He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).

He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT).

The Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion (Isaiah 30:18; NLT).

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

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Prayer, suffering, life, courage, help, bear, illness, mental, physical,

My mother’s death

 

Last night, my mother died peacefully in her sleep. She was 102, and had been increasingly deaf, blind, bedridden, incontinent and confused for the last few years.  

On hearing the news early this morning, my initial reaction was one of relief that she isn’t suffering any more, though it’s too early to tell what feelings I might have in the longer term about her. I’ve spent many years in therapy working on the consequences of her behaviour towards me, so hopefully that will now help me to cope with her death.

My mother was a complicated, intelligent, energetic and demanding woman. She was very controlling, dominating, angry, frustrated, and emotionally abusive. Throughout, and beyond, my childhood, her unpredictable, explosive rages were utterly terrifying. During these uncontrolled episodes she was verbally aggressive towards those present, and could be could be violent and destructive towards objects nearby.

She was also a very selfish, manipulative and egotistical woman. Despite the efforts I made as an adult to talk to her about her behaviour, and the ways in which it has affected me, she always minimised it, never acknowledging, or apologising for, all the damage she caused.

Recently, I’ve been trying to forget the bad things she did, and to remember instead the good things about my childhood. However, the positives are so few, so undependable, and so short-lived, that I quickly gave up the effort, which felt artificial and unhelpful. 

Well, none of us is perfect. We all have many faults, including me. Fortunately, I started working hard to forgive my mother several years ago, and have continued to pray for her, and try to forgive her, every day. 

Some months ago, I spoke to her privately for the last time about her behaviour, its effects, and my forgiveness. However, by then, she was incapable of replying. I’m glad, though, that I was able to be completely honest with her, after a lifetime of anxiety, fear, dread, panic attacks, depression and physical illness caused by her abuse. May she rest in peace, at last.

 

References

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us (Luke 11:4; NLT).

Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing (Luke 23:34; NLT).

We have all sinned against you (Jeremiah 14:20; NLT).

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