Month: August 2023

Things I used to do

Ruth Kirk

Yesterday I woke early, remembering immediately that I would be setting off on a journey today for a hospital trip to the United Kingdom. It will be my first time travelling alone for several years. I’ll be using a wheeled walking frame, so my packing has had to be pared down to the absolute minimum.

Despite feeling slightly anxious, I managed to pray for a while before today’s blog began to emerge. It puts into words the losses I experience as I get older, steadily becoming more limited by my health, energy and mobility issues. 

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21; CSB).

Lord,

Help me to give up gracefully
The things I used to do,
To offer thanks, and let them go,
Returning them to you.

One by one you take my joys,
The things I used to do,
Like walking, cycling, seeing friends –
I yield them all to you.

My energy, my health, my strength,
The things I used to do,
They fade and die, but faith remains,
Surrendering to you.

Day by day you take away
The things I used to do,
So we draw ever closer,
While I’m coming back to you.

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

 

I follow you

Ruth Kirk

I had barely begun to pray last Sunday morning when these couplets came to me. They took several hours of concentrated work to put into words.

This happens more and more frequently. The first stage of writing takes so long that by the time it’s finished, I have missed out on the experience of wordless prayer. In fact, there is a constant, seemingly irresolvable tension between my longing to pray, and the drive to express in words what I am given, so it can be shared here.

All I can do is to echo the prophet’s words: “My work seems so useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet I leave it all in the LORD’s hand; I will trust God for my reward” (Isaiah 49:4; NLT).

So now, here is today’s blog:

Calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me” (Mark 8:34; NLT). 

I follow you, my only Lord:
My guide, my way, and my reward.

I honour you, my Shepherd King:
My strength; the truth to which I cling.

I thirst for you, my living God:
My breath, my life, my staff, my rod.

I trust in you, my light, my love:
My daily bread from heaven above.

I worship you, my Father’s voice:
My resurrection, and my choice.

Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying” (John 11:25; NLT).

Choose today whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15; NLT).

 

Faith

Ruth Kirk

I love you, LORD (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

Jesus, Teacher, I adore you,
And have faith that you love me.

Help me when my faith falls short:
Lord, listen to my humble plea.

Jesus, Master, I revere you,
And believe that we are one.

Help me, when I’m tired and stressed,
To come to you, God’s only Son.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28; NLT). 

When we die

Ruth Kirk

These verses came to me yesterday as I was saying my final prayers in bed, late at night. This doesn’t happen very often. I broke off to begin working on it right away.

The Kingdom of Heaven is near (Matthew 10:7; NLT). 

When we die, Lord,
Heaven is near –
There won’t be time to weep,
Or fear,

For you will clasp us
To your breast,
And welcome us
To share your rest.

There won’t be any grief
Or pain –
Your touch
Will make us whole again.

Then we’ll rejoice
That life is done,
And sing forever, Lord,
As one.  

Those who die in the LORD will live; their bodies will rise again! Those who sleep in the earth will rise up and sing for joy! (Isaiah 26:19; NLT). 

You are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28; NLT).

 

My heart returns

Ruth Kirk

The very moment I began to pray early yesterday morning, these verses hijacked me completely.

Sinners will return to you (Psalm 51:13; ESV). 

Lord,
My heart returns to you
Each day when I awake,
For you are Christ, the King of kings,
Who suffered for my sake.

Lord,
My mind returns to you
Each day as it grows light,
For you love all, so even I
Am precious in your sight.

Lord,
My gaze returns to you
Each day: I persevere
In seeking out your Spirit,
For I know that you are near.

Lord,
My soul returns to you
Each day until my death,
Then we will reunite at last,
For I, Lord, am your breath.

The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7; KJV). 

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

 

The temple

Ruth Kirk

This prayer arrived yesterday during silent contemplation of Jesus’ name. I saw that I would like to be a constant, open channel for the Holy Spirit to act through on earth. However, this would be a very tall order, given all my physical, mental and spiritual limitations.

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? (1 Corinthians 6:19; NLT). 

I long to be the temple
Of your Spirit,
Living in your joy, and peace,
And light;
Dwelling in your mercy, love,
And patience;
Staying in your presence
Day and night. 

I yearn to be the dwelling
Of your Spirit,
Praying through your wordless sighs
With trust;
Resting in your pity, strength,
And power:
One with you, my Lord,
Though I am dust. 

I am only dust and ashes (Genesis 18:27; NAB).

A simple way forward

Ruth Kirk

I’ve been finding it very difficult to pray for the last few days, perhaps because of having constant migraine, but today, after asking for the Holy Spirit’s help, I was given a new, very simple way forward.

I repeated Jesus’ name silently in time with my breath, making no attempt to add any intentions of my own. Whenever a person came into my mind, I prayed for them briefly, then returned to the slow, silent repetition of Jesus’ name. 

This meant that nothing was a “distraction” any more. Instead, each distraction showed me who or what to pray about. My distractions had become part of my prayer, which was a great relief.

Eventually, some words began to come together in my mind, and today’s prayer was gently born.

I am the light of the world (John 8:12; NLT). 

Jesus,
You’re my shining light,
My living bread,
My truth, my life;
My guide, my rod,
My staff, my way;
My well, my water –
Every day.

Jesus,
You’re in all I see,
And taste, and touch;
You’re here, in me:
God’s Word, God’s Son,
God’s Spirit, too –
Please lead me, always,
Back to you. 

Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25; NLT).

 

Don’t wait

Ruth Kirk

Yesterday, when I touched my icon of the Holy Spirit falling on all those present at Pentecost, the first two lines of this prayer came insistently into my mind. Immediately, I wrote them down, then set about discovering where they would lead me. Within half an hour, the shape, and most of the words for today’s prayer were safely set down. The rest then followed more slowly, throughout the day.

The LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion (Isaiah 30:18; NLT). 

Don’t wait for me to grow
Before you come, Lord.
Don’t wait for me to fail
Before you save.

Don’t wait for me to pray
Before you fill me.
Don’t wait for me to plead
Before you give.

Don’t wait for me to change
Before you rescue.
Don’t wait for me to weep
Before you kiss –

For I’m a sinner, through and through,
Despairing,
So come, Lord God, have mercy,
And forgive.

The tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner” (Luke 18:13; NIV).

 

The Way of Holiness

Ruth Kirk

You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence (Acts 2:28; NLT). 

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit:
Fill my body with your presence.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit:
Flood my mind with constant prayer.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit:
Charge my heart with love for others.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit:
Make my soul your thoroughfare.

The dry soil will become a pool of water, the parched ground springs of water. Where jackals once lived and sprawled out, grass, reeds, and papyrus will grow. A thoroughfare will be there – it will be called the Way of Holiness (Isaiah 35:7-8; NET).