Pastel representation of Turin shroud image of the face of Jesus. Reproduced with kind permission of the artist.
During a video call yesterday, a friend introduced me to some of the artwork in his study, including the beautiful picture above, which was made by someone he knows personally. I asked if I could use it, and he very kindly obtained permission from the artist for me to share it with you.
Make your way plain for me to follow (Psalm 5:8; NLT).
May I follow your way,
Offer your love,
Live in your presence,
And pray without cease;
Shine with your light,
Blaze with your fire,
Trust in your Spirit,
And rest in your peace.
The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).
References
God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).
God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).
God is a consuming fire (Deuteronomy 4:24; NIV).
The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).
The Rosary Hospital
I’m excited to be slowly making my first little box of rosaries for people who attend church missions. Here are two I’ve made in the the last few days. The one at the back is very chunky, intended for someone with sight difficulties, or loss of sensation in their hands or fingers. The centrepiece shows a picture of Sainte Thérèse, who is also known as the Little Flower:
Today’s blog is about the shadow self. This term encompasses all the aspects of ourselves we find so uncomfortable, shameful and unacceptable that we ignore, conceal, or deny them. However, it is essential to find ways of recognising and expressing these hidden aspects, so we can integrate them into a fuller understanding of ourselves (see “Owning your own shadow” by Robert A. Johnson; Harper One: 1991).
My shadow, for example, includes sin, guilt, shame, selfishness, self-pity, depression, irritability, judging, anxiety, fear, resentment, bitterness, anger, insecurity and feeling unwanted. For a long time, I have habitually taken captive my thoughts and feelings along these lines, saying sorry to God as soon as I become aware of them. I then replace them with something more loving, in accordance with Paul’s teaching (2 Corinthians 10:5; NIV). However, until very recently, I have never considered choosing to express them in any other way.
Instead, I generally keep negative feelings and thoughts concealed in my shadow. Unfortunately, this is unhealthy, as these spontaneous aspects of myself are significant aspects of my whole being.
Being honest
Over the last few weeks I’ve begun to grasp the spiritual importance of maintaining a constant awareness of what is happening in my shadow. This enables me to be more honest with myself, with God, and, potentially, with other people.
Of course, I don’t want to simply “act out” the contents of my shadow through impulsive, uncontrolled behaviour. Rather, I want to be in touch with them, so I can choose how to respond. Moreover, if I decide to express them, I want to do so as safely and constructively as possible, for the sake of both others and myself.
Such expression doesn’t necessarily mean voicing my shadow self directly, though occasionally this may be appropriate. Instead, I choose to express my shadow through dance, writing and prayer. Art, music, sports and many other activities can also provide alternative creative outlets.
It won’t go away
Staying in touch with my shadow self and finding safe ways to express it is essential, because ignoring it does not make it go away. Trying to push challenging emotions such as anger, hatred and fear out of awareness leaves them free to create havoc in the unconscious mind. This is how sudden outbursts of exasperation, temper, violence and panic can seem to strike “out of the blue”.
The Psalms
The Psalms offer a healthy example of honouring the shadow by expressing it honestly in prayer, alongside more positive aspects of the self. The writer of Psalm Three, for example, begins by praising God for helping them in the face of their enemies’ threats. The tone remains positive until verse seven, when it changes dramatically, as the author gives vent to the pent-up fear, anger and vengefulness concealed in their shadow:
“Arise, O LORD! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked!” (Psalm 3:7; NLT).
Once these negative impulses have been fully voiced, the writer is able to finish on a more positive note:
“Victory comes from you, O LORD. May you bless your people” (Psalm 3:8; NLT).
If the writer had sanitised this psalm by omitting the thoughts and emotions hidden in their shadow, it would have been incomplete. This would have made it far less helpful to both themself and their future readers.
Conclusion The raw, spontaneous truths hidden in our shadow are vital aspects of the self, treasures without which we cannot be complete. To reject them means being out of contact with essential aspects of ourselves.
Learning to integrate the contents of our shadow with our more positive thoughts and emotions is therefore vital for authentic spiritual growth and healing. As Johnson states: “These disowned parts are extremely valuable and cannot be disregarded… To honour and accept one’s shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It is whole-making and thus holy and the most important experience of a lifetime” (Johnson; ibid, pp ix-x).
So now, after that long introduction, here is today’s prayer:
You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).
Lord,
Thank you for my shadow –
May I face it,
Acknowledging its role
In all I do.
Thank you for my shadow –
May I own it,
So I can choose
To share it all with you.
Thank you for my shadow –
May I love it,
For you desire my honesty,
I know.
Thank you for my shadow –
I embrace it. Lord, may these secret riches
Help me grow.
I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).
When I fall silent, God continues to give. Sometimes I can’t help wishing this didn’t happen, so I could enjoy the stillness for more than a few brief seconds…
Jesus revealed himself again to his disciples (John 21:1; CSB).
Jesus,
You reveal yourself
In music,
And in dancing.
Jesus,
You reveal yourself
In others,
And in love.
Jesus,
You reveal yourself
In stillness,
And in silence.
Jesus,
You reveal yourself
In water,
And in blood.
Jesus Christ was revealed as God’s Son by his baptism in water and by shedding his blood on the cross – not by water only, but by water and blood. And the Spirit, who is truth, confirms it with his testimony (1 John 5:6; NLT).
References
Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).
One of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water (John 19:34; NIV).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday I made a loose prayer circlet for someone, then decided to re-make my own, having learned a lot from experience since I originally put it together. Here it is, almost complete, now waiting in the queue to receive its finishing touches:
God’s hand was on the people of Israel (2 Chronicles 30:12; NLT).
Father,
Lay your loving hand
On every mind today.
Please call us to repent
And turn to you.
Jesus,
Lay your loving hand
On every heart today.
Please touch us, heal us all,
And make us new.
Spirit,
Lay your loving hand
On every soul today.
Please fill us with your breath,
And cleanse us, too.
Yahweh,
Lay your loving hand
On every life today,
Then we will serve with love,
In all we do.
Do everything with love (1 Corinthians 16:4; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday I made a first communion rosary, using the restored centrepiece I mentioned a day or two ago. It’s not quite finished, but here it is so far:
Yesterday, in a vivid split second, I saw my heart as the tomb where Jesus was laid after his crucifixion. Out of this came today’s rather mysterious, ambiguous dialogue. The vision was completely silent, so it was exceptionally difficult to put into words. The last two lines are spoken by Christ.
Following Jewish burial custom, they wrapped Jesus’ body with the spices in long sheets of linen cloth. The place of crucifixion was near a garden, where there was a new tomb, never used before. And so, because it was the day of preparation for the Jewish Passover and since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there (John 19:40-2; NLT).
I saw that my mind is the tomb Where Our Lord was conveyed.
Will you rise from the dead there, To pray for the people I meet?
I saw that my heart is the tomb Where our Saviour was laid.
Will you rise from the dead there,
To love every person I greet?
I saw that my soul is the tomb Where our Master was sealed.
Will you rise from the dead there,
To shepherd my steps on your way?
I saw that my flesh is the tomb
Where Christ Jesus was healed.
Will you rise from the dead there,
To serve me in others today?
Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me (Matthew 25:40; NIV).
References
Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light (the Ephesians 5:14; NLT).
They sealed the tomb and posted guards to protect it (Matthew 27:66; NLT).
He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them (2 Corinthians 5:15; NLT).
Whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus (Colossians 3:17; NLT).
Those who die in the LORD will live; their bodies will rise again! (Isaiah 26:19; NLT).
The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many (Matthew 20:28; NLT).
This is the second part of all that came to me yesterday morning in a sudden rush of inspiration (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-dxx):
The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words. And he who searches the hearts of men knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (Romans 8:26-7; RSV).
Prayer is not so difficult
When we give you the lead:
Words and silence alternate,
For you know every need.
You help all those we pray for, Lord,
And bless those we forget:
You make up for our failings, And ensure all needs are met.
He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need (Acts 17:25; NLT).
References
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30; NIV).
If you love me and obey the command I give you, I will ask the One who sent me to give you another Paraclete, another Helper to be with you always – the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot accept since the world neither sees her nor recognises her; but you can recognise the Spirit because she remains with you and will be within you (John 14:15-17; TIV).
Over the last week, prayer has become more and more difficult for me. I can repeat a few set prayers and offer brief intercessions and thanks, but my mind, heart and soul feel empty, and I am deeply weary.
So much has happened (and continues to happen), to my family, to others near and far, and to me, that I have few emotions left, and little sense of God’s presence. Overstretched and worn out, I’m unable to respond fully to fresh events. However, suffering continues actively, both for others and for myself, so I must continue to face it and live with it, until I start to feel again.
He awakes, and his soul is still empty (Isaiah 29:8; NKJV).
I’ve hardly prayed these past few days.
I’ve scarcely praised at all.
O Holy Spirit, help me, please,
And listen to my call.
I’ve hardly prayed these last few days.
My words are only dust.
O Holy Spirit, help me
To receive God’s love with trust.
I cannot sleep; nor can I write.
My mind is bare and dry.
Please stir my heart and soul,
So I can hear your gentle sigh.
I cannot work; nor can I rest. My mind is full of pain.
Please heal my heart and soul,
So I can hear your voice again.
“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the LORD told him. And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:11-12; NLT).
References
Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat. So they left by boat for a quiet place, where they could be alone. But many people recognized them and saw them leaving, and people from many towns ran ahead along the shore and got there ahead of them (Mark 6:30-33; NLT).
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30; KJV).
Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong (Ephesians 3L17; NLT).
Lord, be merciful to me; heal my soul (Psalm 41:4; NKJV).
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26; BSB).
The Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26; AMP).
After a day of quiet pottering about at home, this is the prayer I chose for today’s blog:
The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).
May I grow more and more
Like you
In all I feel, think,
Say, and do,
Until we live as one
In love,
On earth, Lord, Then in heaven above.
We will be with the Lord forever (1 Thessalonians 4:17; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
Here is the rosary I started yesterday, with the precious, old cross. It’s now finished and wrapped, ready for hand-delivery. I daren’t entrust it to the postal system, just in case it got lost.
