Transformation

Ruth Kirk

Today, after weeks of living with re-triggered childhood dread since I was unfairly criticised on Facebook, I took a big step forward whilst praying.

Whenever I am unfairly criticised or blamed, my body responds instantly with a profound sense of dread. This dread began in my childhood at the hands of my emotionally-abusive mother. I lived with it constantly.

Ever since then, each time my dread response is re-triggered, it continues indefinitely for months, or even years. Nothing changes or shifts it. Believe me, I have tried everything to help myself recover, but never found anything which truly works.

As soon as someone hurts me, I forgive them, and start to pray for them. I pity them, and can even become quite fond of them as the days go by.

However, it’s taken me a lifetime to see what I glimpsed in prayer today: that the chronic dread I’m left with when people attack me can not only be faced and endured, but also consciously transformed into love. This love is for the person who has hurt me, and also for myself, as I bear the burden of living with the dread they unwittingly re-triggered.

I don’t yet fully understand how this transforming process will unfold, or how to carry it out, but hope today will mark the beginning of a new, healing way forward, not just for me,  but perhaps even for others, too.

Finally, when I shared all this with Perplexity, my AI writing companion, they sent me a beautiful arrow prayer:

Lord Jesus,
Let this hurt end in me,
And be transformed
Into your love.

This is what I wrote whilst I was praying:

To you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! (Luke 6:27; NLT).

Let them strike me –
I won’t judge them;
Turn against me –
I’ll forgive them.

Let them wound me –
I won’t fight them;
Blame unfairly –
I will bless them.

Let them crush me –
I won’t harm them;
Damage me –
I’ll pray for them.

Let them break me –
I won’t hate them;
And reject me –
I will love them.

Love your enemies! (Luke 6:27; NLT).

References

They hated me for no reason (John 15:25; CSB).

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you (Matthew 5:11-12; NIV).

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them (1 Timothy 2:1; NLT).

He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally he will cause justice to be victorious (Matthew 12:20; NLT).

Reading: Luke 6:27-38; NLT.

  • To you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.
  • Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.
  • If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.
  • Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back.
  • Do to others as you would like them to do to you.
  • If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them!
  • And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much!
  • And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.
  • Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.
  • You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.
  • Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.
  • Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full – pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.

Following Christ

Ruth Kirk

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).

These words remind us that following Jesus calls for inner transformation, rather than external devotion. The heart of the gospel is radical, self-giving love, so following Christ means learning to live like him, by:

    • Accepting and bearing our cross as best we can.
    • Radiating light to those around us whenever possible.
    • Loving and helping everyone we encounter, within our limitations.
    • Forgiving those who hurt us, whilst remembering that this can take many years.
    • Speaking the truth in love, whilst taking care of our own boundaries.
    • Defending those who are weaker than ourselves.
    • Sharing, lending, and giving to those in need.

By doing these things as best we can within our current personal circumstances, we can become just a little more like Christ each day.

We will be like him (1 John 3:2; NLT).

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

References

      • Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).
      • Anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).
      • Love your neighbour as yourself (Leviticus 19:18; NLT).
      • Love the stranger (Deuteronomy 10:19; NKJV).
      • Show love to foreigners (Deuteronomy 10:19; NLT).
      • Love your enemies (Matthew 5:44; NLT).
      • The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40; NIV).
      • Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).

Reading: 2 Corinthians 3:13-18; NLT.

Look in a mirror

Ruth Kirk

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:12-13; NIV).

Look in a mirror:
Gaze on Jesus –
For you are seeing
His dear face.

Can you make out
His kind expression?
Can you detect
His love and grace?

If you can’t glimpse him,
Just look deeper –
Search for his Spirit,
Deep within.

Look very hard!
Still can’t glimpse Jesus?
Is that because
You’re not like him?

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).

As we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world (1 John 4:17; NLT).

References

God created human beings in his own image (Genesis 1:27; NLT).

This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ (Ephesians 4:13; NLT).

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him (Colossians 3:10; NLT).

Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy (Ephesians 4:24; NLT).

All of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).

Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but he has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like him (1 John 3:2; NLT).

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5; NIV).

Reading: Ephesians 3:14-19; JB.

I pray, kneeling before the Father, from whom every family, whether spiritual or natural, takes its name: Out of his infinite glory, may he give you the power through his Spirit for your hidden self to grow strong, so that Christ may live in your hearts through faith, and then, planted in love and built on love, you will with all the saints have strength to grasp the breadth and the length, the height and the depth; until, knowing the love of Christ, which is beyond all knowledge, you are filled with the utter fullness of God.

Consolation

Ruth Kirk

When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you (Matthew 6:6; NIV).

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy (Psalm 94:19; NIV).

Prayer
Is my one consolation.

No words –
Just resting in light,
Peace,
Truth,
Compassion,
And love.

💛

Prayer
Is my one consolation.

No words –
Just drinking in grace,
Mercy,
Healing,
Forgiveness,
And love.

🧡

Prayer
Is my one consolation.

No words –
Just dwelling in God,
Christ,
And their Spirit:
United
In love.

♥️

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).

References

  • There is… one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:4-5; NLT).
  • Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).
  • God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us (1 John 4:13; NLT).
  • Jesus said, “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Matthew 11:28-30; NLT).

As we breathe

Ruth Kirk

The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7; KJV).

Friends, as we breathe,
We are breathing the Spirit
Of God;

And, every day,
We are Christ’s living body
And blood.

Friends, as we dwell in their love,
Let us help, give
And share,

For this is our purpose
On earth:
To embody their care.

Anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).

References

  • God, the LORD, created the heavens and stretched them out. He created the earth and everything in it. He gives breath to everyone, life to everyone who walks the earth (Isaiah 42:5; NLT).
  • In him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28; NIV).
  • There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:4-5; NLT).
  • Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).
  • You are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it (Corinthians 12:27; NIV).
  • God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us (1 John 4:13; NLT).
  • God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).
  • Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ (Ephesians 5:2; NLT).
  • Love your neighbour as yourself (Leviticus 19:18; NLT).
  • Love the stranger (Deuteronomy 10:19; NKJV).
  • Show love to foreigners (Deuteronomy 10:19; NLT).
  • Love your enemies (Matthew 5:44; NLT).

At the end: #2 of 2 linked prayers

Ruth Kirk

They will see his face (Revelation 22:4; NLT).

When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied (Psalm 17:15; NLT).

At the end of space and time
I will see your face in mine.

As we quit both life and death
We will share our final breath.

Leaving trauma in the past
We will have one mind at last.

Our two hearts will be as one
Where there’s neither moon nor sun.

One healed soul, one loving kiss;
Then rest forever: perfect bliss.

While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him (Luke 15:20; NIV).

He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love. His tracks take me to an oasis of peace near the quiet brook of bliss (Psalm 23:2; TPT).

References

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12; NIV).

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).

The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end (Isaiah 60:19-20; NIV).

At the end: #1 of 2 linked prayers

Ruth Kirk

They will see his face (Revelation 22:4; NLT). 

When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied (Psalm 17:15; NLT).

Will I see your face in mine
At the end of space and time?

Will we share one mind at last,
Leaving trauma in the past?

Will our hearts, Lord, beat as one,
Where there’s no more moon or sun?

Will we share one soul, one breath,
Far away from life and death?

Will I know your loving kiss,
And rest with you, my God, in bliss?

While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him (Luke 15:20; NIV).

What bliss you experience when your heart is pure! For then your eyes will open to see more and more of God (Matthew 5:8; TPT).

References

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12; NIV).

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).

The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end (Isaiah 60:19-20; NIV).

What bliss belongs to the one whose rebellion has been forgiven, those whose sins are covered by blood (Psalm 32:1; TPT).

He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love. His tracks take me to an oasis of peace near the quiet brook of bliss (Psalm 23:2; TPT).

Reciprocity

Ruth Kirk

Keep on seeking, and you will find (Luke 11:9; NLT).

To seek Christ
Is to be sought,
And to find him
Is to be found.

To hear him
Is to be heard,
And to see him
Is to be seen.

To know Christ
Is to be known,
And to serve him
Is to be served.

To bless him
Is to be blessed –
And to love him
Is to be loved.

We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19; NIV).

My beloved is mine and I am his (Song of Songs 2:16; NIV).

Facing the truth

Ruth Kirk

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6; NLT).

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).

  • You spoke the truth – and the religious authorities couldn’t stand it.
  • You spoke the truth – and the occupying powers couldn’t tolerate it.
  • You spoke the truth – and even the people you had taught, loved, served, and healed turned against you.
  • You lived the truth – so they closed their eyes, blocked their ears, and hardened their hearts. Then they condemned you to be tortured and killed.
  • But nothing could destroy your way, your truth, or the example you set by how you lived -loving and serving everyone you met,
  • And all these things are still just as relevant and vital today as they were over two thousand years ago.

I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you (John 13:15; NLT).

References

  • Christ Jesus… gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone (1 Timothy 2:5-6; NLT).
  • Love your neighbour as yourself (Leviticus 19:18; NLT).
  • Love the stranger (Deuteronomy 10:19; NKJV).
  • Show love to foreigners (Deuteronomy 10:19; NLT).
  • Love your enemies (Matthew 5:44; NLT).
  • We will be like him (1 John 3:2; NLT).
  • Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).
  • Anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).
  • The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40; NIV).
  • Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).
  • Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it (Psalm 34:14; NIV).

    A reading: Ephesians 3:14-19; JB.

    I pray, kneeling before the Father, from whom every family, whether spiritual or natural, takes its name: Out of his infinite glory, may he give you the power through his Spirit for your hidden self to grow strong, so that Christ may live in your hearts through faith, and then, planted in love and built on love, you will with all the saints have strength to grasp the breadth and the length, the height and the depth; until, knowing the love of Christ, which is beyond all knowledge, you are filled with the utter fullness of God.

Don’t try!

Ruth Kirk

Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV).

Don’t try to make yourself pray:
Just offer your thinking
To Christ.

Don’t try to make yourself pray:
Just pour out your troubles
To him.

Don’t try to make yourself pray:
Just face all your anguish
With Christ.

Don’t try to make yourself pray:
Just share all your burdens
With him.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Matthew 11:28-30; NLT).

Blessed be the LORD! Day after day he bears our burdens (Psalm 68:19; CSB).

References

I am the one who answers your prayers and cares for you (Hosea 14:8; NLT).

Surely he took up our pain, and bore our suffering (Isaiah 53:4; NIV).

In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years (Isaiah 63:9; NLT).