Every day is full of pain.
Every day I search in vain.
Will I see your face again,
My Saviour?
My poor heart is empty, Lord.
Still and dark, without a word
Of comfort, for no voice is heard,
My Shepherd.
Send your light, I humbly pray.
Guide me to your narrow way,
And show me, Jesus, what to say
To others.
Last Saturday evening I took my last dose of the drug which has made prayer and writing impossible for me. The effects had become intolerable. Today I heard the faint return of God’s voice, so I wanted to share it with you straight away, my friends.
With love from Ruth xxx.
Don’t stress, don’t strain –
Just love the Lord.
Say yes to pain –
And no to sin.
In life, in death,
With every breath,
Whatever comes,
We share with Him.
Hello at all readers. Thank you for still visiting here, despite my long absence. I last posted here on the 22nd of May, the day I started taking an additional antidepressant and anxiolytic to help me cope with my persistent, severe dread.
This problem dates back to my earliest childhood. I understand it well, and have worked for years to gain insight into it. I have had massive amounts of therapy of every possible kind that might help, including, most recently, clinical hypnotherapy. However, nothing has ever enabled me to overcome my emotions, or to live with them more comfortably.
When I realised I could go on no longer, I accepted the additional drug my doctor prescribed. For the first few weeks this drug was quite helpful. However, as soon as I started taking it, I lost all ability to pray, to hear God’s voice, and to write.
To begin with, of course, I did not know that these losses would continue, but that is, in fact, the case. Slowly, I am learning to rely on much-loved prayers I memorised long ago. Now I am trying to build a new life without the easy sense of oneness with God which sustained me for so many years, and without the daily inspiration which generated all the resources on this website.
In the last couple of weeks I have also started to face a new issue. As my body and mind grow accustomed to the new drug, anxiety and depression are creeping back. This means that the dose may soon need to be increased. Tomorrow I am due to report back to my GP, so it will be interesting to see what she advises.
All this leaves the future of Take Heart still unsettled. Last week a longstanding follower very kindly wrote to me. His letter prompted me to post this message here today, and to think more clearly about the future. One possibility is that my blog could resume in a new form, perhaps as an honest spiritual and mental health journal. Meanwhile, I continue to inhabit and explore my new spiritual territory – a life without any of the easy closeness to Christ I used to love so much.
Do let me know if you think this might be helpful to you.
With much love, from Ruth xxx
I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me (John 14:6; NLT).
The way beyond all other ways
Is you, Lord.
The truth beyond all others:
You’re God’s Son.
The life beyond all other lives:
To bear our cross, and follow you.
The joy beyond all others:
We are one!
Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).
References
Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).
God promised this Good News long ago through his prophets in the holy Scriptures. The Good News is about his Son. In his earthly life he was born into King David’s family line, and he was shown to be] the Son of God when he was raised from the dead by the power of the Holy Spirit. He is Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 1:2-4; NLT).
Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?” (Luke 9:23-6; NLT).
Jesus was filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit, and he said, “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way” (Luke 10:21; NLT).
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice! (Philippians 4:4; NLT).
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV).
The LORD will hold you in his hand (Isaiah 62:3; NLT).
May we live in your hands,
And dwell in your mind;
Keep your commands,
And always be kind.
May we stay in your heart,
And rest in your soul;
Never depart,
And there be made whole.
His hands make whole (Job 5:18; KJV).
References
I command you this day to love the LORD your God and to keep his commands, decrees and regulations by walking in his ways (Deuteronomy 30:16; NLT).
I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands (Exodus 20:6; NLT).
How kind the LORD is! Psalm 116:5; NLT).
He is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked (Luke 6:35; NLT).
Be kind to everyone (2 Timothy 2:24; NLT).
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).
Be still in the presence of the LORD (Psalm 37:7; NLT).
Here, in stillness,
Here, in silence,
Here, in darkness –
You are light.
Here, in splendour,
Here, in rapture,
Here, in oneness –
You are truth.
Here, in trouble,
Here, in failure,
Here, in ruin –
You are peace.
Here, in sorrow,
Here, in longing,
Here, in anguish –
You are love.
God is love (1 John 4:16; NLT).
References
God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).
The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).
The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).
I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life. And I assure you that the time is coming, indeed it’s here now, when the dead will hear my voice – the voice of the Son of God. And those who listen will live (John 5:24-5; NLT).
One day
I will hear your voice,
And feel my spirit rise.
One day
I will take your hand,
And look into your eyes.
One day
You will smile at me,
And banish all my fears.
One day
You will make me well,
And wipe away my tears.
One day
We will kiss, and laugh,
And dance, Lord, in your light.
One day
We will merge,
For I am precious in your sight.
Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).
You are precious in my sight and honored, and I love you (Isaiah 43:4; CSB).
References
My beloved is mine and I am his (Song of Songs 2:16; NIV).
There will be no night there – no need for lamps or sun – for the Lord God will shine on them. And they will reign forever and ever (Revelation 22:5; NLT).
Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12; NLT).
Reading: John 1:1-5.
Interfaith silence:
Lay aside hate.
Interfaith stillness:
Just sit and wait.
Interfaith darkness:
Set aside fear.
Interfaith sharing:
Friendship is near.
Interfaith learning:
Growing in trust.
Interfaith insight:
Now we are us.
Interfaith service:
Healing the past.
Interfaith caring:
Oneness, at last.
He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT).
I love you, Lord (Psalm 18:1; NLT).
You love me,
And I love you –
Thank you that
We’re one, not two.
I love you,
And you love me –
Jesus, you have
Set me free.
One in body,
Heart and mind –
Our shared aim
Is being kind.
One in spirit
And in soul –
Loving you, Lord,
Makes me whole.
Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour (Matthew 9:22, KJV).
We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).
References
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine (Song of Solomon 6:3
My beloved is mine and I am his (Song of Solomon 2:16, NIV).
Be kind to everyone (2 Timothy 2:24, NIV).
Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! (Philippians 3:8-11, NLT).
God sits above the circle of the earth (Isaiah 40:22; NLT).
God above us,
Brooding, wise:
You hear each cry of grief,
Each breath.
God beside us,
Here on earth:
You give all beings
Life and death.
God in every
Heart and soul:
You are our pearl,
Our King of kings.
God amongst us,
We are one:
Please shelter us
Beneath your wings.
Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings (Psalm 61:4; NLT).