Category: Vision

Coming out as face blind at church

Ruth Kirk

Today I came out as face blind at the church I left several months ago. I stopped going because I couldn’t cope with the anxiety of not being able to recognise other people, or connect their names with their details.

It went wonderfully well! I haven’t even got a migraine yet (four hours later), though that could easily happen a bit later in the day after making such a huge effort. With the Vicar’s advance permission I gave a two-minute talk just before the service started, explaining the problem, and asking people to help me. NB: Asking for help has always been an absolute no-no for me, as I expected to be refused, and to be despised, or hated, for having asked.

Everything changed for me immediately. Even during the service I had a sense of belonging which was entirely new.

After the service, several people approached me, introducing themselves with their names in the kindest and most friendly way possible. I joined in with the coffee, rather than silently sloping off back home to avoid any further risk of social contact. I even had a couple of lovely chats that didn’t depend solely on me getting other people to talk about themselves without me ever having to use their name, or know who they were. NB: This is one of my standard coping techniques in any group. I now realise that it is a combination of pretending, faking and avoidance.

When I was ready to go, I went to stand in front of the altar, then touched it whilst expressing my huge relief, joy and gratitude at having made a fresh start at church.

The moment I laid my hand on the cloth I was flooded, both inside and out, by an incredibly bright light, and was no longer aware of anything around me. It wasn’t frightening – just completely unexpected, amazing, and very beautiful.

I don’t know how long this experience lasted – perhaps about 20 seconds, or a little more. When I lifted my hand off the altar, all my perceptions went back to being normal (for me!) Then I came away from the church with fresh hope, feeling glad to be alive.

With love to you all, and my deepest thanks for all the likes and comments you leave,
From Ruth xxxx

 

Shock of gold

Ruth Kirk

The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine (Isaiah 9:2; NLT).

A shock of gold!
A burst of light!

Despite the years
You still surprise

Us, Mighty God,
And overwhelm

Our souls, which are
Your holy realm.

The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7; KJV).

We are the temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:16; NLT).

 

God’s infinity

Ruth Kirk

This blog might seem rather unusual to some readers. It summarises a series of perceptions, or insights, or understandings I experienced a few days ago. These perceptions showed me just a little about God’s infinity.

In him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28; NIV).

God is infinite. Everything exists within God, and everything happens within God.

We live within God. Everything around us is within God. Our world and our solar system are within God. Our galaxy is within God, and it is just one tiny speck amongst countless others, all of which exist within the infinity of God.

God has no edges, no above or beneath, no inside or outside. God has no boundaries at all, because God is everything.

If it were possible for us to watch God passing us by, that passing by would never come to an end. Moreover, no matter how long we watched for, we would still be inside God, even whilst watching God passing by.

Sometimes we catch a glimpse God. However, no matter how much we perceive, or are shown, or understand, we are only seeing a vanishingly small aspect of God’s infinite Being.

During our earthly lives, we and all our reference-points are within God, so it is impossible for us even to imagine, let alone perceive or understand, the infinity of God.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine” (Isaiah 55:9; NLT).

References

There is … one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).

Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by (1 Kings 19:11; NKJV).

 

My soul

Ruth Kirk

The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7; KJV).

A few days ago, I experienced the presence of God within me. Today’s blog shares what I saw and understood.

My soul
First, I saw a dazzling bright light within me, and realised it was my soul: the eternal union within me of self and God.

Our oneness existed long before my conception, and continues during my exile on earth. It will remain unbroken during my death, and for evermore afterwards, beyond all time and space. My soul is the centre of my being, its essence, where self and God are truly one.

The voice of inner truth
Then I heard my soul speak with a single, totally honest voice: the voice of truth. This truth had two components: God’s truth, and my own completely honest inner truth.

Afterwards
As this experience gradually faded away, it left me ready to listen to the voice of my soul even more intently than before.

This voice is usually readily accessible within me, particularly during spoken and wordless prayer. It often gives me direct insights in comprehensible words and sentences, which I write down. These insights form the basis of everything I learn, write, and share.

Looking ahead
Since my experience, I will continue to learn everything this voice has to teach me, and to change and grow through its help and guidance. I want to be open to its constant support, and to find peace by asking for its forgiveness and healing.

Conclusion
I hope very much that I can retain the vivid memory of experiencing God’s presence within me in light and sound. I also want to continue listening to the voice I depend on so heavily for inspiration, insight, teaching, and personal, spiritual growth.

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

References

There is … one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).

We are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people” (2 Corinthians 6:16; NLT).

God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).

The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).

God speaks (Deuteronomy 5:24; NKJV).

I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-9; NLT).

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free (John 8:32; NLT).

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6; NLT).

The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).

My faith

Ruth Kirk

Be sure that your faith is in God alone (James 1:6; NLT).

God,
My faith does not rely on visions,
Words received, or signs;
On miracles, or holy shrines;
Or special prayers, or days, or times.

God,
My hope does not depend on healing,
Help, or fears subdued;
On answered pleas, or daily food;
Or promises of life renewed.

God,
My love is not upheld by priests,
Or men, or joy to come;
Or anything but being one
With You, your Spirit, and your Son.

I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one (John 17:22; NLT).

I pray, kneeling before the Father, from whom every family, whether spiritual or natural, takes its name: Out of his infinite glory, may he give you the power through his Spirit for your hidden self to grow strong, so that Christ may live in your hearts through faith, and then, planted in love and built on love, you will with all the saints have strength to grasp the breadth and the length, the height and the depth; until, knowing the love of Christ, which is beyond all knowledge, you are filled with the utter fullness of God (Ephesians 3:14-19; JB).

Brilliance

Ruth Kirk

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

Brilliance, then darkness, Lord,
Time after time;
But you are my Maker,
So all will be well.

Rapture, then anguish, Lord,
Time and again;
But, Yahweh, you love me,
So all will be well.

So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him (Luke 15:20; NLT).

Reference

“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well” (Julian of Norwich, 14th century mystic and theologian).

Angel bands

Ruth Kirk

Today’s prayer is related to to a much earlier blog called, “Golden angels”, which can be found on this link: https://wp.me/P45bCr-4qy

Suddenly there was with the angel a great band of spirits from heaven, giving praise to God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest (Luke 2:14; BBE).

I close my eyes
And fold my hands,

To worship with
The angel bands

Who sing your praises
Day and night,

One in the radiance
Of your light.

All nations will come to your light; mighty kings will come to see your radiance (Isaiah 60:3; NLT).

God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).

References

With all my heart I praise you, LORD. In the presence of angels I sing your praises (Psalm 138:1; CEV).

The Son is the radiance and only expression of the glory of [our awesome] God [reflecting God’s Shekinah glory, the Light-being, the brilliant light of the divine], and the exact representation and perfect imprint of His [Father’s] essence (Hebrews 1:3; AMP).

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12; NLT).

No longer will you need the sun to shine by day, nor the moon to give its light by night, for the LORD your God will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun will never set; your moon will not go down. For the LORD will be your everlasting light. Your days of mourning will come to an end (Isaiah 60:19-20; NLT).

I can’t recapture

Ruth Kirk

My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be (Psalm 42:4; NLT). 

Lord,

I can’t recapture what I’ve seen
And felt, in prayer,

Nor mimic the experience
Of unity with you.

I can’t re-grasp each blissful state,
However hard  I try,

For oneness is your gift, alone –
A gift that’s always new.

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).

 

Waves of darkness

Ruth Kirk

I will bless the LORD who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me (Psalm 16:7; NLT).

Waves of darkness
And of light
Guide us deeper
Into love.

Waves of tenderness
And joy
Draw us closer:
God is good.

Waves of mercy
And of strength:
These, in silent prayer,
Increase.

Waves of unity
And bliss:
Always here –
The Lord is peace.

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).

References

Moses approached the thick darkness where God was (Exodus 20:21; NIV).

God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).

God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).

Yahweh is mercy and tenderness (Psalm 111:4; NJB).

How kind the LORD is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! (Psalm 116:5; NLT).

The Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength (Isaiah 26:4; KJV).

Be silent before the LORD, all humanity (Zechariah 2:13; NLT).

The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you (Romans 8:11; NLT).

Thou makest me to know the path of life; in Thy presence is fulness of joy, in Thy right hand bliss for evermore (Psalm 16:11; JPS Tanakh 1917).

Surely the LORD is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it! (Genesis 28:16; NLT).

Outer darkness

Ruth Kirk

Last night I was woken at about 5am by a roar like the sound of a whirlwind. It was so powerful that the house seemed to shake, as if it might be lifted off the ground. I began to pray, and this is what I received:

Many shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the children of the kingdom shall be cast into outer darkness (Matthew 8:12; AFV).

What does it mean to be “cast into outer darkness”?

Being cast into outer darkness means being separated from our Maker forever. Instead, let’s pray that we will remain united with Him from before our birth, and throughout our lives. Then, beyond death, our souls will go straight back to Him, and we will be carried in His arms, close to His breast, for all eternity.

God never meant us to experience the Retribution, but to win salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that, alive or dead, we should still live united to him (1 Thessalonians 5:9-10; TJB).

References

The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7; KJV).

Remember him – before the silver cord is severed, and the golden bowl is broken; before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, and the wheel broken at the well, and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young (Isaiah 40:10-11; NIV).

What is the hope of the sinner when he is cut off, when God takes back his soul? (Job 27:8; BBE).

God will redeem me from the realm of the dead; he will surely take me to himself (Psalm 49:15; NIV).

I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one – as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me (John 17:21; NLT).

He died for us so that, whether we are awake in this life or asleep in death, we will live together with him (1 Thessalonians 5:10; GWT).

His soul went to the place of the dead. There, in torment, he saw Abraham in the far distance with Lazarus at his side (Luke 16:23; NLT).

There is a great chasm separating us. No one can cross over to you from here, and no one can cross over to us from there (Luke 16:26; NLT).