Category: weakness

22.3.23: I want to follow Christ

Ruth Kirk
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jesus_reconstruction_test_phases_from_Turin_Shroud.jpg

Today’s blog came to me soon after waking up:

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT). 

I want to follow Christ
In every thought,
Through gain and loss
To serve him as I ought,
And always keep on praying,
As he taught –
For he is all to me,
Though I am naught.

I want to follow Christ
In all I say,
Through weakness, sin and failure,
Come what may,
And always keep on thanking him
Each day –
For Jesus is my life, my truth,
My way.

I want to follow Christ
In all I do,
Through grief, and pain and sorrow,
Sickness, too,
By sharing in the suffering
He knew –
For all he preached and promised us
Is true.

All who believe in the Son of God know in their hearts that this testimony is true (1 John 5:10; NLT). 

I was born and came into the world to testify to the truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true (John 18:37; NLT).

References 

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5; NIV). 

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21; CSB). 

May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10; NLT). 

I am nothing (Job 40:4; NLT). 

Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT). 

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV). 

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6; NLT). 

Since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17; NLT). 

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:10; NLT).

The Rosary Hospital

Today I am full of rejoicing, because I’ve been given a steady outlet for my rosaries. Please celebrate this with me!

https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?search=Our+Lady+of+Walsingham&title=Special:MediaSearch&type=image

13.3.23: Help me

Ruth Kirk

As soon as I start to surface from sleep, the Lord’s Prayer is always my first prayer of the day. Straight after saying it a day or two ago, these verses arrived very insistently:

The Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26; AMP). 

O Holy Spirit,
Help me now to pray,
And then to walk with you, Lord,
All day long.

Please sigh for me,
And plead on my behalf,
For though my prayers are weak, Lord,
Yours are strong.

My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9; NLT).

References

I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever (John 14:16; ESV).

When I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:10; NLT).

3.2.23: Take away my mind

Ruth Kirk

I wrote this blog a little while ago, when thinking about dementia. Everything about me has been made by God, is sustained by God, and will be taken away by God. I therefore need to be ready and willing to give up whatever God takes away, at any time.

Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away (John 15:2; NKJV).

Yahweh,
Take away my mind:
You know my thoughts –
They’re so unkind.
Please take away my selfish heart:
You know it’s cold and dark.

Jesus,
Take away my flesh:
You know my sins
And weaknesses.
Please take away my troubled life:
You know my inner strife.

Spirit,
Take away my soul:
When you reclaim it,
I’ll be whole.
Take everything: faith, joy, hope, pain –
Till you, alone, remain.

I am nothing but dust and ashes (Genesis 18:27; NIV).

You remain forever (Psalm 102:26; NLT). 

References 

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. May the name of the LORD be blessed! (Job 1:21; NET).

The Lord knows people’s thoughts; he knows they are worthless! (Psalm 94:11; NLT). 

He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).

If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell (Matthew 8:9; NLT).

O God, you know how foolish I am; my sins cannot be hidden from you (Psalm 69:5; NLT).

He knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust (Psalm 103:14; NLT).

“I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life” (1 Kings 19:4; NLT). 

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies (Psalm 103:2-4; NLT).

Everything comes from you (1 Corinthians 29:14; CSB). 

Everything I have is yours (Luke 15:31; NLT). 

I am yours (Psalm 119:94; NLT). 

Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord (Romans 14:8; NIV).

The Rosary Hospital

Yesterday I enjoyed making a simple five-decade rosary, which is almost finished. I’m particularly pleased that it is made almost entirely from recycled materials:

26.12.22: Faith

Ruth Kirk

Context: Today’s prayer came to me whilst I was praying on the morning of Christmas Eve. I was so grateful to receive it:

I love you, LORD (Psalm 18:1; NLT). 

I love you, Lord, and I have faith
That you love me still more.
Please help me where my faith falls short,
For it is weak and poor.

I love you, Lord, and I have faith
That you have sent your Son
To help us when our faith falls short,
So we can all be one.

Please rid me, Lord, of every sin,
And help me to follow Christ.
My mind, heart, soul and strength are yours
In humble sacrifice.

You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength (Mark 12:30; NLT).

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise (Psalm 51:17; NIV).

15.12.22: That’s easy

Ruth Kirk

Context: I wrote this poem quite a while ago, after experiencing a series of shattering realisations during prayer. Yesterday I rediscovered it amongst my drafts, and decided to post it today:

I love you, Lord (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

The Father himself loves you dearly (John 16:27; NLT). 

I love you, Lord – that’s easy!
But: You love me, too – that’s hard!

Why do you love me, Yahweh?
Why do you guide and guard? 

You know my every weakness,
And my sins are all too real,

So why do you help and comfort me?
Why do you cleanse and heal? 

Ah! It’s because you’re perfect, Lord,
Pouring out love and peace,

And sending your Son to make us all one:
Your mercy will never cease.  

His mercy endures forever (1 Chronicles 16:34; NKJV).

16.11.22: I believe in Jesus

Ruth Kirk

Context: Both my husband and I have covid, so I’m not able to write at present. However, here is a prayer which arrived a short time ago. I chose it because it seemed to follow on from yesterday’s (https://wp.me/p45bCr-cKC):

Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying” (John 11:25; NLT).

I believe in Jesus,
For he is all I need:
He heals my mind,
Forgives my sins,
And hears me when I plead.

I believe in Jesus,
For he is all I seek:
He heals my heart,
Redeems my life,
And helps me when I’m weak.

I believe in Jesus,
For he alone can save:
He heals my soul,
And cares for me –
His humble, willing slave.

Whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else (Mark 10:44; NLT).

Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me (Matthew 25:4o; CSB). 

7.11.22: God in all

Ruth Kirk

Context: Last Saturday was a rare, blessed, unpressured day with no hospital appointments, and no building work taking place at home. I had breakfast in bed, followed by the luxury of a whole morning to write this prayer, which arrived soon after I woke up:

Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things (Ecclesiastes 11:5; NLT).

God: in stillness, silence, darkness;
Here, in yearning –
Our unknown.

God: in worship, wonder, rapture;
Here, in bliss –
Our stepping stone.

God: in nature, labour, service;
Here, in love –
Our source, our home.

God: in weakness, envy, anger;
Here, in sin –
Our cornerstone.

God: in conflict, terror, trauma;
Here, in carnage –
Our shalom.

God: in sickness, sorrow, anguish;
Here, in pain –
Our flesh, our bone.

God: in striving, yielding, dying;
Here, in all –
Our Lord, alone.

The LORD is our God, the LORD alone (Deuteronomy 6:4; NLT).

References

Stand in silence in the presence of the Sovereign LORD (Zephaniah 1:7; NLT).

God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).

By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made (Genesis 3:19; NLT).

The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone (Psalm 118:22; NLT).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NLT).

Yield yourselves to God (Romans 6:13; RSV).

Now yield and submit yourself to Him [agree with God and be conformed to His will] and be at peace (Job 22:21; AMP).

Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit (Matthew 27:50; NKJV).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

There is …one God and Creator of all, who is over all, who works through all and is within all (Ephesians 4:5-6; TIB).

Rosary-making news:

I’m longing for the arrival of some 1mm cord from the UK. This should hopefully thread through the wooden beads I’ve already bought. At present, I only have 1.5mm cord, which is too thick to go through them. Until the thinner cord arrives, I’m limited to making necklaces and bracelets, practicing barrel knots and threading a few beads by chewing the thread. Still, today I made my first ever equal-length sliding knots.

24.10.22: My flesh is weak

Ruth Kirk

Context: Today I’m in London again, for further specialised hospital tests. These trips are a big challenge, because of my limited mobility and chronic fatigue. There’s something good to look forward to, though, as I’ve sent for all the basics I need to start learning the craft of making rosaries. If there’s any news worth reporting, I’ll include it when the time comes.

Following the prayers posted here for the last two days, today’s strikes a more optimistic note. It continues to build on the recent, recurring theme of inner healing:

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41; NIV). 

My flesh is weak,
My mind is scarred,

My heart is crushed,
My soul, afraid; 

And yet, my spirit
Leaps with joy

Because you love me:
Lord, I’m saved!

God’s love toward us is great, God’s faithfulness, eternal (Psalm 117:2; TIB).

You are the God who saves me (Psalm 25:5; NLT).

References 

He knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust (Psalm 104:14; NLT). .

I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart (Psalm 38:8; NLT).

Yahweh is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18; LSB).

Fear came upon every soul (Acts 2:43; RSV). 

How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! (Luke 1L47; NLT). 

For you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture (Malachi 4:2; NLT). 

God already loves you, because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God (John 16:27; TIB).

God’s love toward us is great, God’s faithfulness, eternal (Psalm 117:2; TIB).

Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved (Joel 2:32; NLT).

21.10.22: Gifts

Ruth Kirk

Context: Yesterday morning I prayed with words, then without, until I suddenly saw this little poem:

God has blocked my way so I cannot move. He has plunged my path into darkness (Job 19:8; NLT). 

You have taken away my companions and loved ones. Darkness is my closest friend (Psalm 88:18; NLT). 

I give you my darkness,
My weakness and sin –
That’s all I can offer, Lord:
Failure, within.

I give you my loneliness,
Sickness and fears –
That’s all I can offer, Lord:
Mourning and tears.

I give you my sorrow,
My anguish and shame –
That’s all I can offer, Lord:
Longing and pain.  

I give you my suffering,
Body and blood,
My mind, heart and soul, Lord:
I give you my love. 

I will give you my love (Song of Songs, 7:12; NLT). 

18.10.22: Transformation

Ruth Kirk

Context: I’ve been struggling badly since a new drug was added to my cocktail a week or so ago. Amongst other side-effects, it made me unable to concentrate, or to pray, and therefore, unable to write. Worst of all, it made me feel that life was no longer worth living.

However, yesterday, with medical help, I reduced the quantity of this drug by 50%, and today, to my great joy, I found I could both pray, receive inspiration and write again.

Tomorrow I hope to post what I was given this morning, but for now, here is an astonishingly appropriate piece I chose and prepared last night, with no idea that my state of mind might be about to change.

This prayer arrived very early one morning some weeks ago, when I woke at dawn and couldn’t go back to sleep. The photo is the view from my bedroom window that day:

My God turns my darkness into light (Psalm 18:28; NIV). 

You turn my darkness into light,
My sickness, into health;
My weakness into strength, Lord,
And my poverty, to wealth.

You turn my mourning into joy,
My sighing, into prayer;
My loneliness, to oneness, Lord,
My selfishness, to care.

You turn my water into wine,
My sinfulness, to good;
My anger, into peace, Lord,
And my bitterness to love.

You turn my losses into gains,
My dross, to precious ore;
My death, Lord, to eternal life
With you, for evermore.

In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28; NIV).

References

I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life (John 5:24; NLT). 

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever! (Psalm 30:11-12; NLT).