Life is very demanding at present in terms of medical issues, so I’m posting early today, and sending my very best wishes to every reader:
My hope, Lord, is in you (Psalm 25:21; NIV).
My hope, my faith,
My joy new-born;
My light, my truth,
My sacred thorn.
My pain, my grief,
My gain, my loss;
My love, my life,
My way, my cross.
Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6; NLT).
I wrote this blog a little while ago, when thinking about dementia. Everything about me has been made by God, is sustained by God, and will be taken away by God. I therefore need to be ready and willing to give up whatever God takes away, at any time.
Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away (John 15:2; NKJV).
Yahweh,
Take away my mind:
You know my thoughts –
They’re so unkind.
Please take away my selfish heart:
You know it’s cold and dark.
Jesus,
Take away my flesh:
You know my sins
And weaknesses.
Please take away my troubled life:
You know my inner strife.
Spirit,
Take away my soul:
When you reclaim it,
I’ll be whole.
Take everything: faith, joy, hope, pain –
Till you, alone, remain.
I am nothing but dust and ashes (Genesis 18:27; NIV).
You remain forever (Psalm 102:26; NLT).
References
The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. May the name of the LORD be blessed! (Job 1:21; NET).
The Lord knows people’s thoughts; he knows they are worthless! (Psalm 94:11; NLT).
He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).
If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell (Matthew 8:9; NLT).
O God, you know how foolish I am; my sins cannot be hidden from you (Psalm 69:5; NLT).
He knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust (Psalm 103:14; NLT).
“I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life” (1 Kings 19:4; NLT).
The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).
He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies (Psalm 103:2-4; NLT).
Everything comes from you (1 Corinthians 29:14; CSB).
Everything I have is yours (Luke 15:31; NLT).
I am yours (Psalm 119:94; NLT).
Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord (Romans 14:8; NIV).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday I enjoyed making a simple five-decade rosary, which is almost finished. I’m particularly pleased that it is made almost entirely from recycled materials:
Yesterday was a day without appointments of any kind – a blessed day of complete rest. No fresh inspiration arrived, so I was very happy to dip into my treasure-chest, bringing out a poem written a short while ago:
Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me” (John 20:29; NLT).
It’s easy to have feelings, Lord,
But harder to have faith.
It’s easy to complain, Lord,
But far harder to say, “Yes”.
It’s easy to hate strangers, Lord,
But harder to love all.
It’s easy to condemn, Lord,
But instead, help me to bless.
Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you (Mark 5:44; NKJV).
References
Job stood up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. He fell to the ground and worshiped, saying: Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD. Throughout all this Job did not sin or blame God for anything (Job 1:20-22; CSB).
I want your will to be done, not mine (Matthew 26:39; NLT).
Love the stranger (Deuteronomy 10:19; NKJV).
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
I’ve now made an experimental prayer circlet with a holding-cross half-way round. It’s a delight to wear, as the cross rests so close to my heart.
Yesterday morning, using my rosary, I said my five introductory prayers. When I reached the centrepiece, I asked the Holy Spirit to help me, then fell silent, but within seconds today’s blog arrived.
It was a great relief to hold the centrepiece with my left hand, whilst typing with my right, confident that I wouldn’t forget where I had got to. I’m so glad that writing now feels like a continuation of my prayers, rather than an interruption of them. If you would like further details about this, please see: https://wp.me/p45bCr-df0.
Here is the little prayer I was given. Although it’s so short and simple it was really difficult to put into words:
I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them (1 Timothy 2:1; NLT).
Give me the will
To pray for others.
Give me the steadfast faith
I need.
Give me the love
To plead for others.
Pray, Lord, on my behalf,
And intercede.
The Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26; AMP).
Context: Today’s prayer came to me whilst I was praying on the morning of Christmas Eve. I was so grateful to receive it:
I love you, LORD (Psalm 18:1; NLT).
I love you, Lord, and I have faith
That you love me still more.
Please help me where my faith falls short,
For it is weak and poor.
I love you, Lord, and I have faith
That you have sent your Son
To help us when our faith falls short,
So we can all be one.
Please rid me, Lord, of every sin,
And help me to follow Christ.
My mind, heart, soul and strength are yours
In humble sacrifice.
You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength (Mark 12:30; NLT).
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise (Psalm 51:17; NIV).
Context: Yesterday morning I received this prayer. I was facing a very demanding day, during which I had appointments with two different consultants.
The verses I was given reminded me of Saint Mother Theresa, who served God faithfully, even though for many years she had no sense at all of God’s loving presence. Despite this, she was always cheerful, continuing to carry out her ministry with great devotion.
Mother Theresa had to walk by faith, not sight, and I can do the same. I find this realisation very helpful, comforting and reassuring.
We walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7; CSB).
Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe (John 20:29; CSB).
Lord God,
May I experience
Your warm and tender love for me,
But when I don’t, may I have faith
That you hear every plea.
May I believe as Mary did –
So young, so pure, so long ago,
Prepared, Lord, to embrace each test:
The trials you bestow.
Then I’ll say, “Yes”, and offer thanks,
No matter what you ask each day,
Take up my cross, and follow Christ –
My life, my truth, my way.
Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6; NLT).
References
He loves us with unfailing love; the LORD’s faithfulness endures forever (Psalm 117:2; NLT).
We know he hears us when we make our requests (1 John 5:15; NLT).
Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).
The LORD your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul (Deuteronomy 13:3; NIV).
And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word (Luke 1:38; KJV).
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).
Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).
Context: Today’s prayer continues to reflect on the theme of how difficult I find it to believe that God loves me. It links back to “A question”, posted a few days ago. Here is a link for those who want to check it out: https://wp.me/p45bCr-d0s.
I love you, LORD (Psalm 18:1; NLT).
I love you, Lord –
Please help me
To believe
That you love me.
I long for you –
Please help me
To believe
You long for me.
I cherish you –
Please help me
To believe
You cherish me.
Lord God,
You know I love you –
Give me faith
That you love me.
References
Loving:
He loves us with unfailing love; the LORD’s faithfulness endures forever (Psalm 117:2; NLT).
Longing:
As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God (Psalm 42:1; NLT).
The LORD longs to be gracious to you (Isaiah 30:18; NIV).
Cherishing:
In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft (Deuteronomy 32:10-11; NIV).
After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you” (John 21:15; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital:
Today I launched my Rosary Hospital by making a five-decade rosary entirely out of recycled materials, apart from using new cord. It will go back to the shop in Walsingham as part of a thank-you gift for their box of broken rosaries. Here it is:
Context: Yesterday I was able to pray silently for a while, which has been impossible since I became ill with Covid.
The day before I had felt very sad not to have died, but yesterday I saw that as long as God wants me to live, I will live, however exhausted I am, and that when God wants me to die, I will die. So now my only aim is to say, “Yes” to God, and to give thanks for everything God sends. Whether I live or die, I want to embrace God’s will completely.
As part of this realisation, some verses swiftly arrived to crystallise my thinking. Today’s blog owes a great deal to a special prayer I say every day. It’s used by the Community of Our Lady of Walsingham, and is quoted in full below the references.
Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us (Luke 11:4; NLT).
Lord,
Forgive my sins,
Though they are many,
As I forgive the people
Who’ve hurt me.
I’m ready now to live, Lord,
At your pleasure;
I’m ready, now, to die,
When you decree.
No matter what you send
May I give thanks, Lord;
No matter what you take
May I say, Yes –
Today, and every hour,
And every moment,
With steadfast faith, hope, love,
And humbleness.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time (1 Peter 5:6; NIV).
References
I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).
Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10; RSV).
The LORD gives both death and life (1 Samuel 2:6; NLT).
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).
Put on mercy, kindness, gentleness, humbleness of mind, meekness [and] patience (Colossians 3:12; LB).
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you (Isaiah 26:3; NIV).
Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT).
COLW prayer:
O Mary, teach us always
To say YES to the Lord,
Every moment of our life.
O Mary, teach us always
To give THANKS to the Lord,
Every moment of our life.
(Page 17, Community of Our Lady of Walsingham Prayer Book, Verbum Publications, 2019).
Context: Yesterday morning, whilst I was writing an entirely separate prayer, the inspiration for the verses below came straight to me, without intention or effort of any kind on my part. Quickly jotting them down in rough, I was able to return to them later, and to finish working on them the same day.
Jesus began to preach, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near” (Matthew 4:17; NLT).
I turn to you, and choose your way:
Lord, help me when my love falls short.
I worship you, and choose my life:
Lord, help me when my joy falls short.
I trust in you, and choose my cross:
Lord, help me when my thanks fall short.
I hide in you, and choose my pain:
Lord, help me when my prayers fall short.
I bow to you, and choose my death:
Lord, help me when my faith falls short.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).
References
The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 24; NLT).
Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6; NLT).
Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV).
You died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3; NLT).
“Abba, Father,” he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine” (Mark 14:36; NLT).
Yield yourselves to God (Romans 6:13; RSV).
Then Jesus shouted, “Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!” (Luke 23:46; NLT).
Then he bowed his head and released his spirit (John 19:30; NLT).
Rosary-making update:
This doesn’t look like much, but it represents a big step forward for me: my first successful pairs of sliding knots:
Context: I try to pray, both with and without words, but I’m finding it very hard to concentrate. At present, I receive no tangible response – no light, no warmth, no waves of love, and no sense of God’s presence.
This has been happening for about a week, and makes for a very different spiritual life than I have been used to for many years. It’s a whole new territory for me, based much more strongly on faith and trust than on experience.
However, most mornings I still receive some words. For example, here is a sentence I was given yesterday: I’m in your hands, Lord, whether or not I can pray. This helped me to grasp and express much more clearly what I’m experiencing:
Our lives are in his hands (Psalm 66:9; NLT).
I’m in your hands, Lord –
Whether or not I can pray,
Or see your light,
Or feel your warmth.
I’m in your hands –
Whether or not I sense your love,
Or experience your presence,
Or hear your voice.
I’m in your hands –
Whether or not you give me
Anything to write,
And no matter much I thirst for you.
Father, into your hands
I commit my spirit each day –
*Let it be unto me
According to thy will.
Father, into your hands I commit my spirit (Luke 23:46; NIV).
I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).
References
I have put my words in your mouth and hidden you safely in my hand (Isaiah 51:16; NLT).
As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand (Jeremiah 18:6; NLT).
In God’s hand is the soul of every living thing; in God’s hand is the breath of all humankind (Job 12:10; TIB).
You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water (Psalm 63:1; NIV).
*Here is a link to the blog where I first spontaneously used this phrase, just a few days ago: https://wp.me/p45bCr-cxR