Mary

 

Lord, 

My mother didn’t mean
To hurt me –
She simply had a child,
Then didn’t cope.

She didn’t have the qualities 
I needed,
So I grew up with her,
But without hope. 

She managed me
By trying to control me
With condemnation, fury,  
Screaming, blame.        

She damaged me 
By pouring out resentment;
I ended up with trauma, 
Fear, and shame. 

But now you give me Mary
For my mother –
The finest woman
Who will ever live; 

So every day I thank you 
For Our Lady, 
Who prays that we will heal, 
Love, and forgive. 

 

References

When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home (John 19:26-7; NLT). 

They all met together and were constantly united in prayer, along with Mary the mother of Jesus (Acts 1:14; NLT). 

From now on all generations will call me blessed (Luke 1:48; NLT).

8.11.13.

 

Hello, my name is Ruth, and I’m a Christian, Catholic writer. I live with with chronic fatigue, invasive breast cancer, neuropathic pain, and various other medical conditions. I also have extensive experience of panic, agoraphobia, depression and anxiety, both personally and professionally. Whilst I’m praying I often have insights, which I try to express in writing. Then I share them with others via my website, twitter and Facebook.

I publish a short, original blog each day, praying for all those who read it, as well as for all those who do not. I very much hope you will find something on my site that interests or helps you, and I welcome feedback and correspondence.

With best wishes, from Ruth xxxx

http://www.ruthkirk.org

When sorrow comes

When sorrow comes
I long for you,
While you, Lord,
Comfort me.

When sickness strikes
I search for you,
While you, Lord,
Make me whole.

When life is hard
I cry to you,
While you, Lord,
Strengthen me.

When darkness falls
I beg your help,
While you, Lord,
Heal my soul. 

 

References

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows (John 16:33; NLT).

Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NLT).

May the God of peace make you holy in every way (1 Thessalonians 5:23; NLT).

You encourage me by giving me your strength (Psalm 138:3; NLT).

He restores my soul (Psalm 23:3; NKJV).

Dreams and nightmares

Like many people, when I’m dealing with significant emotional issues, I often have disturbing dreams.

Last night I dreamed I was walking along a street with my mother, saying firmly to her, “You usually yelled at someone on journeys.” She laughed heartily at this, as if I were joking. “That wasn’t a joke,” I continued, very seriously, “You did usually yell at someone on journeys.”

As I woke, still talking aloud, I was left wondering whether the fact that journeys with my mother were so incredibly tense and stressful had anything to do with the development of my agoraphobia.

Dreams and nightmares

Father,
Without dreams and nightmares,
Trauma would fester
In my unconscious mind,
Generating panic attacks
That seem to strike
Out of the blue.

Instead,
Through dreams and nightmares
You help me confront my demons one by one,
Learning new ways to handle them,
As I slowly come to terms
With my past.

 

References

A dream comes when there are many cares (Ecclesiastes 5:3; NIV).

I have had a dream that troubles me and I want to know what it means (Daniel 2:3; NIV).