When I was praying yesterday morning, I saw the simultaneous Threeness and Oneness of God, all happening continually and eternally in a never-ending moment of nowness. However, I found this pretty well impossible to put into words, so today’s blog is sadly just a pale glimpse of what I was given; I did my best.
God is Spirit (John 4:24; NLT).
The Son isthe radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being (Hebrews 1:3; NIV).
Anyone who hasseenme has seen the Father! (John 14:9; NLT).
God is Spirit – this we know,
And Jesus is God’s human face.
The Holy Ghost is their shared soul,
Uniting them in love and grace.
For God is Three, and God is One:
Our Origin, our life, our end;
Today’s prayer came to me most unexpectedly yesterday, whilst I was saying grace before breakfast.
Everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard (Romans 3:23; NLT).
We all have sins that shame us,
Behaviour we regret;
We all have faults and failures,
But Jesus loves us yet.
We know our inner darkness,
The things we can’t put right,
The evils on our conscience,
But Jesus is our light.
We all have guilty secrets,
We haven’t done God’s will;
We’ve judged and wounded others,
But Jesus loves us still.
We know that we are nothing,
Just grains of sand, or dust,
But through Christ comes forgiveness,
So in His name we trust.
Through this man Jesus there is forgiveness for your sins (Acts 13:38; NLT).
There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12; NLT).
Trust in God, and trust also in me (John 14:1; NLT).
References
I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark (John 12:46; NLT).
Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12; NLT).
He loves us with unfailing love; the LORD’s faithfulness endures forever (Psalm 117:2; NLT).
I am nothing but dust (Genesis 18:27; NIV).
There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent (Luke 24:47; NLT).
A reading: Romans 3:22-25; NLT.
We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood.
The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).
Lord, Please make me more like you.
Consume my sins, my heart, renew,
Then I’ll show love in all I do,
And light the way for others, too.
Lord, Please make me more like you,
So all I say is kind and true.
My judgements, fears and greed, subdue,
Until I’m perfect, through and through.
You are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48; NLT).
References
Donotjudge, and you will not be judged. Donot condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37; NIV).
This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ (Ephesians 4:13; NLT).
We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him (Colossians 3:10; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
A batch of fiat rosaries, made with a combination of new and recycled parts.
Today’s blog is about the shadow self. This term encompasses all the aspects of ourselves we find so uncomfortable, shameful and unacceptable that we ignore, conceal, or deny them. However, it is essential to find ways of recognising and expressing these hidden aspects, so we can integrate them into a fuller understanding of ourselves (see “Owning your own shadow” by Robert A. Johnson; Harper One: 1991).
My shadow, for example, includes sin, guilt, shame, selfishness, self-pity, depression, irritability, judging, anxiety, fear, resentment, bitterness, anger, insecurity and feeling unwanted. For a long time, I have habitually taken captive my thoughts and feelings along these lines, saying sorry to God as soon as I become aware of them. I then replace them with something more loving, in accordance with Paul’s teaching (2 Corinthians 10:5; NIV). However, until very recently, I have never considered choosing to express them in any other way.
Instead, I generally keep negative feelings and thoughts concealed in my shadow. Unfortunately, this is unhealthy, as these spontaneous aspects of myself are significant aspects of my whole being.
Being honest
Over the last few weeks I’ve begun to grasp the spiritual importance of maintaining a constant awareness of what is happening in my shadow. This enables me to be more honest with myself, with God, and, potentially, with other people.
Of course, I don’t want to simply “act out” the contents of my shadow through impulsive, uncontrolled behaviour. Rather, I want to be in touch with them, so I can choose how to respond. Moreover, if I decide to express them, I want to do so as safely and constructively as possible, for the sake of both others and myself.
Such expression doesn’t necessarily mean voicing my shadow self directly, though occasionally this may be appropriate. Instead, I choose to express my shadow through dance, writing and prayer. Art, music, sports and many other activities can also provide alternative creative outlets.
It won’t go away
Staying in touch with my shadow self and finding safe ways to express it is essential, because ignoring it does not make it go away. Trying to push challenging emotions such as anger, hatred and fear out of awareness leaves them free to create havoc in the unconscious mind. This is how sudden outbursts of exasperation, temper, violence and panic can seem to strike “out of the blue”.
The Psalms
The Psalms offer a healthy example of honouring the shadow by expressing it honestly in prayer, alongside more positive aspects of the self. The writer of Psalm Three, for example, begins by praising God for helping them in the face of their enemies’ threats. The tone remains positive until verse seven, when it changes dramatically, as the author gives vent to the pent-up fear, anger and vengefulness concealed in their shadow:
“Arise, O LORD! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked!” (Psalm 3:7; NLT).
Once these negative impulses have been fully voiced, the writer is able to finish on a more positive note:
“Victory comes from you, O LORD. May you bless your people” (Psalm 3:8; NLT).
If the writer had sanitised this psalm by omitting the thoughts and emotions hidden in their shadow, it would have been incomplete. This would have made it far less helpful to both themself and their future readers.
Conclusion The raw, spontaneous truths hidden in our shadow are vital aspects of the self, treasures without which we cannot be complete. To reject them means being out of contact with essential aspects of ourselves.
Learning to integrate the contents of our shadow with our more positive thoughts and emotions is therefore vital for authentic spiritual growth and healing. As Johnson states: “These disowned parts are extremely valuable and cannot be disregarded… To honour and accept one’s shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It is whole-making and thus holy and the most important experience of a lifetime” (Johnson; ibid, pp ix-x).
So now, after that long introduction, here is today’s prayer:
You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).
Lord,
Thank you for my shadow –
May I face it,
Acknowledging its role
In all I do.
Thank you for my shadow –
May I own it,
So I can choose
To share it all with you.
Thank you for my shadow –
May I love it,
For you desire my honesty,
I know.
Thank you for my shadow –
I embrace it. Lord, may these secret riches
Help me grow.
I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).
Last Thursday, whilst praying for those who wage war on other people, I saw that whenever we harm or hurt someone else in any way, our behaviour reveals that we are unconsciously at war with some aspect of ourselves. Then today’s prayer started to flow:
We don’t understand (John 16:18; NLT).
Lord, please help us to understand ourselves, because:
When we judge others,
We are are unconsciously judging ourselves.
When we don’t forgive others,
We are unconsciously unable to forgive ourselves.
When we hate others,
We unconsciously hate ourselves,
And when we wage war on others,
We are unconsciously at war with ourselves.
Lord, please help us to choose your perfect way, because:
When we learn to accept ourselves,
We will spontaneously accept others.
When we learn to care for ourselves,
We will spontaneously care for others.
When we learn to forgive ourselves,
We will spontaneously forgive others,
And when we learn to love ourselves,
We will spontaneously love others.
Love your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10:27; NLT).
References
God’s way is perfect (2 Samuel 22:31; NLT).
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2; NLT).
Follow the way of love (1 Corinthians 14:1; NIV).
“You know the way to where I am going.”“No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:4-6; NLT).
He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries. Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left (Isaiah 30:19-21; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday I enjoyed fulfilling a request for a smooth, comfortable Fiat Rosary. It is destined to be worn around the neck, always ready for use, and always ready to bring comfort:
This will sound ridiculous, but whilst I was writing this blog yesterday morning, I didn’t realise that it followed on from the previous day. Rather, I had unconsciously assumed this short series on prayer had finished. However, it turned out that I was wrong, so here it is:
When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get (Matthew 6:5; NLT).
In prayer, there is no room at all
To boast, Lord, or to pose, For you are truth.
In prayer, there is no place at all To hide, Lord, or pretend, For you are light.
In prayer, there is no scope at all
To judge, Lord, or to scorn, For you are peace.
In prayer, there is no time at all
To hate, Lord, or despise, For you are love.
In prayer, there is no chance at all
To shun, Lord, or divide, For you are One.
The LORD our God, the LORD is one! (Deuteronomy 6:4; NKJV).
There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).
References
The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).
You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).
God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged (Matthew 7:1; NLT).
The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).
Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44; NLT).
Context: Today’s prayer describes a rare moment late one evening, when I was able to accept and believe that God really had forgiven all my sins. This meant I could start afresh next day, without looking back, to my great joy. These verses arrived the next morning:
Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looksback is not fit for the Kingdom of God (Luke 9:62; NLT).
The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning (Lamentations 3:22-23; NLT).
I start again today, Lord,
Without sin –
For you forgave me yesterday,
And healed my guilt within.
I start again today
Without a grudge –
For I’ve forgiven all who hurt me:
You, alone, will judge.
I start again today, Lord, Without fear –
For you will walk beside me
Giving comfort, always near.
I start again today
Without regrets –
Instead, I’m looking forward,
For you’ve cancelled all my debts.
When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both (Luke 7:42; ESV).
References
He forgives all my sins (Psalm 103:2; NLT).
Her guilt has been removed (Isaiah 49:2; NASB20).
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself (Leviticus 19:18; NIV).
Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us (Matthew 6:12; NLT).
Jesus is the one appointed by God to be the judge of all – the living and the dead (Acts 10:42; NLT).
God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad (Ecclesiastes 12;14; NLT).
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NLT).
Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory (Romans 5:2; NLT).
Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world (1 Peter 1:13; NLT).
Context: This blog had a rather unusual start in life. It began to arrive just as I was about to leave my hotel room early yesterday morning to walk the short distance to London City Airport. The words I was given were clearly an ending, so I hastily jotted them down, then set off, thinking no more about them.
At the airport, I had a very welcome breakfast, went to my gate and boarded the plane. Just as we were taking off, the beginning of this blog arrived, so I had to repeat it in my mind until the plane levelled out and I could reach for my iPad. By the time we landed, the first draft was largely complete. This is what I received:
You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).
Introduction
I often find it impossible to say “Amen” to other people’s prayers, to join in with printed responses during services, and to sing congregational hymns. This is because:
I don’t agree with what is being asked for, or said.
A prayer or hymn doesn’t speak for me, or doesn’t express what is in my heart at the time.
The language used is formal, grand or flowery: that’s not how I talk to God.
The prayers or hymns are too long for me to take in, or to make my own.
The person leading the prayers speaks so quietly that I can’t tell what they are saying.
The prayers are said so impersonally, or so quickly, that they seem devoid of meaning.
My aims
Reflecting on these reservations helped me to draw up a list of personal aims:
To pray because I want to, rather than because I think I ought to.
To pray for those who come to mind, rather than working my way through a list of those I feel I should include.
Not saying “Amen” to prayers I don’t agree with, instead quietly sharing with God that I don’t concur.
Not joining in with hymns whose words don’t speak for me.
Not ignoring, overriding, hiding, or suppressing my hurts, irritations, disappointments, anger, judgements, fears etc. Rather, I aim to be honest about them, facing their truth squarely with God, who knows exactly what is in my mind and heart.
Not pretending to feel other than how I actually feel. Rather, I aim pray about how I’m really feeling, and what I’m really thinking.
Not saying what I think God wants to hear.
Facing up to things I’ve got wrong and asking God to help me put them right.
Avoiding grand or flowery language, instead praying simply and honestly, like a child.
Not worrying about how short or long my prayers are, as long as they’re honest, genuine and heartfelt.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I aim to follow my golden rule:
Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
References
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me (Psalm 139:1; NLT).
As for me, Lord, you know my heart. You see me and test my thoughts (Jeremiah 12:3; NLT).
You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord (Psalm 139:4; NLT).
Today’s reading: Matthew 6:7-13; NLT
When you pray, don’t babble like the Gentiles. They think God will hear them if they use a lot of words. Don’t imitate them. Your God knows what you need before you ask it.
This is how you are to pray: ‘Abba God in heaven, hallowed be your name! May your reign come; may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven: give us today the bread of Tomorrow.
And forgive us our debts, as we hereby forgive those who are indebted to us. Don’t put us to the test, but free us from evil.’
NB: I can say “Amen” to this without reservation, apart from disliking some of the punctuation!
