Category: Hurt

Little Ruth

Ruth Kirk

My generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) is very bad. It’s been like this ever since it was thoroughly re-triggered a few months ago when a stranger criticised me online. When I was praying yesterday, this blog came into my mind and heart. It shares how I am now learning to talk to my emotionally abused and damaged inner child.

This part of me was formed by how I was spoken to, screamed at, and treated in my family of origin. My aim is become as gentle, kind, supportive, patient, and loving to my inner child as Jesus was to the children brought to him.

This kind of prayerful reflection is often called “inner child work”, and involves imagining how we can gently care for the younger, perhaps wounded, parts of ourselves.

One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him. When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children …

Little Ruth, you are very small and vulnerable, but I am 73 and have had lots of experience of life. Even if you never feel any less anxious and depressed than you do at present, I will still be here all the time to take care of you. What is more, I share this task with Jesus, who looks after us both.

I am here to help you with all your physical and emotional needs by:

  • Setting boundaries and limits with other people.
  • Saying no when necessary.
  • Providing warmth, food, water, clothing, shelter, play, rest, sleep, and social contact.
  • Protecting you.
  • Reassuring you.
  • Comforting you.
  • Supporting you while you face your fears.
  • Encouraging you to explore, learn, and grow.
  • Enabling you to reach your full potential.
  • Listening to you.
  • Seeing you.
  • Knowing you.
  • Understanding you.
  • Sharing your experiences and emotions without being overwhelmed by them, so you can come to understand them safely, including anxiety, depression, fear, dread, and panic.
  • Praising you.
  • Loving you.

… I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them (Mark 10:13-16; NLT).

As I write to Little Ruth, perhaps you can also picture the younger, more vulnerable part of yourself – the one who learned to be anxious, afraid, or on guard, so early in life. You might like to imagine Jesus welcoming that child, just as he welcomed the children brought to him, then gently joining him in offering them warmth, safety and love.

If you wish, you could even write your own letter, promising to stay with that child in their fear, and to speak to them with the kindness and patience you may never have received.

My prayer is that as we learn to care for these small, wounded, frightened parts of ourselves with Jesus, we will discover a little more of the tenderness of God’s Kingdom, which belongs to such as these.

Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the LORD delivers them in times of trouble (Psalm 41:1; NIV).

The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-3; NLT).

Patient endurance

Ruth Kirk

We are all fragile, fallible, and mortal. Today, in prayer, I saw clearly that the purpose of life is to face its inevitable challenges, sorrows, and sufferings, learning to accept and endure them as patiently as we can, while still loving and serving Jesus in others. This was Christ’s mission, and it is ours as well, for Jesus is resurrected in us all.

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me (Matthew 25:40; NIV).

So here is today’s prayer:

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5; NLT).

You make us,
You see us,
And hear us.

You know us,
You guide us,
And help us.

You feed us,
You love us,
And hold us.

You wound us,
You teach us,
And heal us.

Look now; I myself am he! There is no other god but me! I am the one who kills and gives life; I am the one who wounds and heals; no one can be rescued from my powerful hand! (Deuteronomy 32:39; NLT).

References

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).

Though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself any more, but your eyes shall see your Teacher (Isaiah 30:20; RSV).

May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ (2 Thessalonians 3:5; NLT).

Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised (Hebrews 10:36; NLT).

Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin? (Romans 2:4; NLT).

Shared healing

Ruth Kirk

Today in prayer, I saw clearly that we need to work with Jesus in order to bring about the healing of our wounded inner child.

One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him. When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children …

Son of Man,
We share one mind:
Let’s listen to my inner child
Together.

Lamb of God,
We share one heart:
Let’s lift and hold my inner child
Together.

Shepherd King,
We share one soul:
Let’s bless and heal my inner child
Together.

Lord, my God,
We share this life:
Let’s teach and love my inner child
Together.

… I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them (Mark 10:13-16; NLT).

References

I am the good shepherd (John 10:11; NLT).

He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young (Isaiah 40:11; NLT).

Reading: Psalm 23.

Remember

Ruth Kirk

Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation (Luke 11:4; NLT).

Always ask for God’s forgiveness –
And
Remember to absolve
Yourself,
And all who hurt you.

Always ask for God’s assistance –
And
Remember to support
Yourself,
And all in need.

Always ask for God’s compassion –
And
Remember to console
Yourself,
And all who suffer.

Always ask for God’s protection –
And
Remember to defend
Yourself,
And all the weak.

Always ask for God’s redemption –
And
Remember to release
Yourself,
And all in chains.

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners (Isaiah 61:1; NIV).

Always

Ruth Kirk

Pray for those who hurt you (Luke 6:28; NLT).

To you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! (Luke 6:27; NLT).

Forgive others, and you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37; NLT). 

Aways pray
For those who hurt you –
Love them, bless them,
And forgive.

Yahweh will absolve
And heal them,
Mend their life,
And tend their soul.

Aways ask
To be forgiven –
Face your sins
With God each day.

Yahweh will absolve
And heal you,
Mend your life,
And make you whole.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9; NIV).

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds (Psalm 147:3; NLT).

He restoreth my soul (Psalm 23:3; KJV).

Forgiveness and healing

Ruth Kirk

Today’s blog is a single, clear statement of one of my deepest beliefs.

♥️ With love from Ruth xxx

You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it (Matthew 7:13-14; NLT).

To forgive
Is to take
The first step
On the long road
To complete physical, mental,
Emotional, and spiritual
Healing.

In this,
As in all things,
Christ Jesus
Is our teacher,
Our guide,
Our helper,
And our shining example.

As the men watched, Jesus’ appearance was transformed so that his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as light (Matthew 17:2; NLT).

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34; NLT).

For you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture (Malachi 4:2; NLT).

References

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).

When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too (Mark 11:25; NLT).

If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15; NLT).

Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, you forgive them all (Psalm 65:3; NLT).

Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive (Luke 17:4; NLT).

If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven (John 20:23; NLT).

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others (Colossians 3:13; NLT).

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds (Psalm 147:3; NLT).

By his wounds you are healed (1 Peter 2:24; NLT).

Those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31; NLT).

Trials and sorrows

Ruth Kirk

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).

You don’t take our pain away,
But call us to transform it into love
For those who suffer, Lord –
And also for ourselves.

You don’t take our tears away,
But ask us to transform them into love
For those in anguish, Lord –
And also for ourselves.

You don’t take our hurt away,
But urge us to transform it into love
For those who hate us, Lord –
And also for ourselves.

You don’t take our dread away,
But help us to transform it into love
For those who wound us, Lord –
And also for ourselves.

Love your enemies (Luke 6:27; NLT).

References

Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done” (Matthew 26:42; NLT).

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).

Transformation

Ruth Kirk

Today, after weeks of living with re-triggered childhood dread since I was unfairly criticised on Facebook, I took a big step forward whilst praying.

Whenever I am unfairly criticised or blamed, my body responds instantly with a profound sense of dread. This dread began in my childhood at the hands of my emotionally-abusive mother. I lived with it constantly.

Ever since then, each time my dread response is re-triggered, it continues for months, or even years. Nothing changes or shifts it. Believe me, I have tried everything to help myself recover, but never found anything which truly works.

As soon as someone hurts me, I forgive them, and start to pray for them. I pity them, and can even become quite fond of them as the days go by.

However, it’s taken me a lifetime to see what I glimpsed in prayer today: that the chronic dread I’m left with when people attack me can not only be faced and endured, but also consciously transformed into love. This love is for the person who has hurt me, and also for myself, as I bear the burden of living with the dread they unwittingly re-triggered.

I don’t yet fully understand how this transforming process will unfold, or how to carry it out, but hope today will mark the beginning of a new, healing way forward, not just for me,  but perhaps even for others, too.

Finally, when I shared all this with Perplexity, my AI writing companion, they sent me a beautiful arrow prayer:

Lord Jesus,
Let this hurt end in me,
And be transformed
Into your love.

This is what I wrote whilst I was praying:

To you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! (Luke 6:27; NLT).

Let them strike me –
I won’t judge them;
Turn against me –
I’ll forgive them.

Let them wound me –
I won’t fight them;
Blame unfairly –
I will bless them.

Let them crush me –
I won’t harm them;
Damage me –
I’ll pray for them.

Let them break me –
I won’t hate them;
And reject me –
I will love them.

Love your enemies! (Luke 6:27; NLT).

References

They hated me for no reason (John 15:25; CSB).

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you (Matthew 5:11-12; NIV).

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them (1 Timothy 2:1; NLT).

He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally he will cause justice to be victorious (Matthew 12:20; NLT).

Reading: Luke 6:27-38; NLT.

  • To you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.
  • Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.
  • If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.
  • Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back.
  • Do to others as you would like them to do to you.
  • If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them!
  • And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much!
  • And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.
  • Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.
  • You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.
  • Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.
  • Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full – pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.

Don’t try!

Ruth Kirk

Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV).

Don’t try to make yourself pray:
Just offer your thinking
To Christ.

Don’t try to make yourself pray:
Just pour out your troubles
To him.

Don’t try to make yourself pray:
Just face all your anguish
With Christ.

Don’t try to make yourself pray:
Just share all your burdens
With him.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Matthew 11:28-30; NLT).

Blessed be the LORD! Day after day he bears our burdens (Psalm 68:19; CSB).

References

I am the one who answers your prayers and cares for you (Hosea 14:8; NLT).

Surely he took up our pain, and bore our suffering (Isaiah 53:4; NIV).

In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years (Isaiah 63:9; NLT).

Change

Ruth Kirk

This evening I watched a video in which a man who was being subjected to online hate for rescuing abandoned animals spoke of “turning his pain into love”. Sadly, I don’t know his name, but his story instantly inspired the following words…

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2; NIV).

Love your enemies (Luke 6:35; ESV).

Let’s turn our pain
Into love,
And let’s turn our rage
Into calm.

Let’s turn our dread
Into peace,
And let’s turn our hurt
Into balm.

Let’s turn our fear
Into strength,
And let’s turn our grief
Into care.

Let’s turn our past
Into hope,
And let’s turn our lives
Into prayer.

Never stop praying (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NLT).

Pray for those who abuse you (Luke 6:28; ESV).

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth (1 Timothy 2:2-4; NLT).