I was stressed, anxious, exhausted and alone. It was getting dark, and I was running out of energy in a big city, where I couldn’t find my hotel. The friend I had been with earlier had left me.
Then I stumbled across an Orthodox service taking place in a large, crypt-like cave which was half underground. I glimpsed many priests inside, standing in rows, wearing beautiful robes.
There were a few casual onlookers outside the crypt. Close by was a long, high wall with a large, stone bas-relief of an icon.I walked past the icon, not immediately realising what it was, but as soon as it registered in my mind, I stepped back a pace or two, and stood in front of it. There, I made the sign of the cross in the Orthodox manner, just as I do when awake.
Then I woke very suddenly, experiencing a moment of pure joy, because I had been a Christian in my dream, just as I have so often asked in prayer (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-dov). Next, I quickly noted down everything that had happened, before it began to fade.
When this was done, I started to pray, giving all the experiences and emotions of my dream to God. However, in a flash, I realised that I wasn’t just giving them to God, who already knew all about them, and had sent them. Rather, I was sharing them with God.
Then I grasped that my dream had given me an opportunity to share through first-hand experience just a little of what Jesus experienced and felt at different times during his life on earth. This left me stunned, and, as so often, wondering what might come next.
I wrote this blog a little while ago, when thinking about dementia. Everything about me has been made by God, is sustained by God, and will be taken away by God. I therefore need to be ready and willing to give up whatever God takes away, at any time.
Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away (John 15:2; NKJV).
Yahweh,
Take away my mind:
You know my thoughts –
They’re so unkind.
Please take away my selfish heart:
You know it’s cold and dark.
Jesus,
Take away my flesh:
You know my sins
And weaknesses.
Please take away my troubled life:
You know my inner strife.
Spirit,
Take away my soul:
When you reclaim it,
I’ll be whole.
Take everything: faith, joy, hope, pain –
Till you, alone, remain.
I am nothing but dust and ashes (Genesis 18:27; NIV).
You remain forever (Psalm 102:26; NLT).
References
The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. May the name of the LORD be blessed! (Job 1:21; NET).
The Lord knows people’s thoughts; he knows they are worthless! (Psalm 94:11; NLT).
He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).
If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell (Matthew 8:9; NLT).
O God, you know how foolish I am; my sins cannot be hidden from you (Psalm 69:5; NLT).
He knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust (Psalm 103:14; NLT).
“I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life” (1 Kings 19:4; NLT).
The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).
He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies (Psalm 103:2-4; NLT).
Everything comes from you (1 Corinthians 29:14; CSB).
Everything I have is yours (Luke 15:31; NLT).
I am yours (Psalm 119:94; NLT).
Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord (Romans 14:8; NIV).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday I enjoyed making a simple five-decade rosary, which is almost finished. I’m particularly pleased that it is made almost entirely from recycled materials:
When praying with my circlet, I’m learning to wait in silence on each new bead. Once I can see what it holds, I pray with it until the prayer is complete. Then I let it go, and move on to the next, as described in today’s prayer:
The Spirit also helps us in our weakness; for we do not know what prayers to offer nor in what way to offer them (Romans 8:26; WNT).
Jesus,
When I ask your help, A prayer awaits me in each bead:
All I have to do is listen
For your Holy Spirit’s lead.
Some hold silence, inspiration, Intercession, thanks, or praise;
Some are full of light and warmth,
Of our shared love’s united gaze.
So I say the words you offer, See all I am meant to see:
What a joy it is to know
That every day you care for me.
May I speak the words you give,
And learn what I am meant to learn,
Living, walking in your Spirit
Here, on earth, till I return.
The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).
References
I will put my Spirit in you and you will live (Ezekiel 37:14; NIV).
I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion (Ephesians 6:18; NLT).
Listen to God’s voice (Deuteronomy 26:17; TIB).
The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving (Psalm 28:7; NLT).
He cares for those who trust in him (Nahum 1:7; NIV).
Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? (1 Corinthians 6:19; NLT).
God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us (1 John 4:13; NLT).
If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:25; KJV).
A few days ago I was thinking about what a struggle it can be just to give to others, though perhaps giving is relatively easy in comparison to many of life’s other challenges. Almost before I knew it, I had to start writing today’s blog:
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).
Many things in life
Are hard, Lord:
Giving, saying sorry,
And forgiving those who hurt us;
Facing fear, enduring failure,
Illness, disability, and grief.
Yet, with prayer and practice,
They get easier to manage,
Till they become
A source of growth,
Of thankfulness –
And even inner peace.
PeaceI leave with you; mypeaceIgiveyou (John 14:27; NIV).
References
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Matthew 11:28-30; NLT).
We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and arecalledaccording to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).
As soon as I started to pray last Monday, fresh prayers began to arrive. It was all I could do to keep up with them, and at one point, to my horror, I thought I had accidentally erased a whole piece. Fortunately, I managed to find it in the end. Here is one of the prayers I received that day:
Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord (Romans 14:8; NLT).
Heaven
Is being one with God –
From genesis
Before our birth,
Through trials and sorrows
Here on earth;
In loss and gain,
In joy and pain –
Forever one
In love.
Heaven
Is being one with God –
Let’s offer thanks,
Rejoice and pray,
And follow Jesus
Every day.
Let’s seek his face,
And share his grace –
Forever one
In God.
Heaven
Is being one with God –
Let’s praise his name
With every breath,
And walk with him
In life and death.
Then, safe ashore,
We will adore –
Forever one
With God.
We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).
Sunrise over the sea, taken from my front door yesterday morning
Context: On Sunday evening I was reading about the Annunciation, and reflecting on how Mary freely chose to bear God’s Son. Then today’s question and answer dialogue came straight into my mind, all at once:
And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word (Luke 1:38; KJV).
I want your will to be done, not mine (Matthew 26:39; NLT).
Will you accept this illness? Yes, I will, Lord. Do you accept this pain? Yes, Lord, I do.
Can you accept this trouble? Yes, I can, Lord,
And I’ll embrace my cross with joy
For you.
Will you accept this burden? Yes, Lord, freely. Do you accept this grief? Yes, Lord, I do.
Can you accept this anguish? Yes, Lord, gladly,
So I’ll give thanks, and bear my cross
For you.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).
References
Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).
I am glad when I suffer for you in my body, for I am participating in the sufferings of Christ that continue for his body, the church (Colossians 1:24; NLT).
If we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17; NLT).
Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:10; NLT).
Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me” (Mark 8:34; NLT).
Rosary-making news: The Rosary Hospital (with thanks to J.W.)
On Sunday I finally hit on the best way for me to make Fiat Rosaries successfully. These rosaries help the user to explore all four mysteries in one cycle of prayer. The story of how they began is available here: https://associationfiat.com, in several different languages.
The same evening, a friend offered to send me some broken rosaries, to my great delight. I’ve already received a box of similar materials from a shop in Walsingham, and am recycling their usable parts to make corded rosaries.
My husband commented dryly that I’m now running a “Rosary Hospital”, which felt instantly significant. As I don’t charge for what I make, recycling rosary parts helps to keep my costs down. If recipients want to, they can donate to the Community of Our Lady of Walsingham.
Making rosaries is a spiritual exercise, and a form of ministry which brings me great pleasure and purpose, though I still have much to learn. If the Rosary Hospital idea develops further, I’ll post about it here.
Meanwhile, here is yesterday’s non-Fiat rosary (making one each day is enough for my arthritic hands). It’s extra large, chunky and tactile, made especially for an elderly lady:
Context: I’m still very weary after having covid, and am hardly writing at all. So I’m glad to be able to dip into my store-house, and share this prayer with you. It came to me last September:
There is one Lord …who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).
Lord,
You’re in everyone and everything –
All I see, hear, taste, smell and touch.
You give all I receive,
And you take away everything I lose.
You share all my sensations,
Including pain, fatigue and suffering.
You share all my emotions,
Including joy, fear and sorrow.
Please help me to learn from all I experience,
Both “good” and “bad”.
I dedicate myself to you, and to your service,
Just as I am.
May I take up my cross each day,
And follow your example.
May everything I think, say and do
Express your love.
I ask all this in your holy name.
✝️ Amen.
I will do whatever you ask in my name (John 14:13; NIV).
Context: The night before last, my seventh with covid, I managed for the first time to cope without taking any cough-suppressant. As soon as I woke in the morning, I began to pray, but within seconds I was overwhelmed by today’s blog:
He is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being’ (Acts 17:27-8; NIV).
God is not far away,
But very near:
In everyone we meet,
And see, and hear;
In every joy and sorrow,
Smile, and tear;
In pain and anguish,
Suffering, and fear.
God is not far away,
But deep within:
In every mind, and heart,
And soul, and skin;
Despite our hatred, Selfishness and sin –
God is not far away,
And God is King.
God is the King over all the earth (Psalm 47:7; NLT).
References
There is one Savior, one faith, one baptism, one God and Creator of all, who is over all, who works through all and is within all (Ephesians 4:5-6; TIB).
Youare the temple of the livingGod. As God has said: “I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be my people” (2 Corinthians 6:16; NKJV).
May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else (1 Thessalonians 3:12; NIV).
Love your neighbour as yourself (Leviticus 19:18; NLT).
Love the stranger (Deuteronomy 10:19; NKJV).
Show love to foreigners (Deuteronomy 10:19; NLT).
Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44; NLT).
Rosary news:
Despite covid, I made a (hopefully) more accurate Fiat Rosary today, with the colours in the right order. Here is is:
…and here it is again, lying on my shrine overnight, soaking up God’s blessings: