Breast cancer, mastectomy,, mental illness, Prayer, sin, suffering

Dreams

Every night, I dream, Lord,
Of my failures;
Failure to be liked,
And to fit in.

Two failed degrees.
No genuine career, Lord;
Failure to be beautiful,
And slim.

Failure as a daughter,
Wife, and mother;
Failure as a grandmother,
And friend.

Failed health, Lord God,
Both physical and mental;
Failure as a person, 
In the end. 

Failure after failure  
In my faith, Lord;
Failure in my thoughts,
And words, and deeds,

So, here I am, now,
Bowing low before you,
With little to give back,
And many needs.

For I amount to nothing;
I have failed you; 
But you, Lord, are the High Priest
Who redeems;

Please fold me in your arms
For evermore, Lord,   
Then I will sleep, protected from 
My dreams.

 

References

Exalt the Lord our God! Bow low before his feet, for he is holy! (Psalm 99:5; NLT).

I am poor and needy, and my heart is full of pain (Psalm 109:22; NLT).

I am nothing but dust and ashes (Genesis 18:27; NIV).

O Lord, you are our Father (Isaiah 64:8; NLT).

So Christ has now become the High Priest […] With his own blood – not the blood of goats and calves – he entered the Most Holy Place once for all time and secured our redemption forever (Hebrews 9:11-12; NLT).

He took the children in his arms (Mark 10:16; NLT).

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe (Ezekiel 34:25; NLT).

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anxiety, Breast cancer, mastectomy,, depression, honesty, mental illness, Prayer

When I can’t rejoice

When I can’t rejoice, Lord,
May I pray.

When I cannot pray, Lord, 
May I sleep.

When I cannot sleep, Lord,
May I rest.

When I cannot rest, Lord, 
May I weep.

When I cannot weep, Lord,
May I wait –

Enduring all,
For you will keep me safe. 

References

Always be joyful (1 Thessalonians 5:16; NLT).

Never stop praying (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NLT).

I think, ‘My bed will comfort me, and sleep will ease my misery’ (Job 7:13; NLT).

I am churning within and cannot rest (Job 30:27; CSB).

I weep with sorrow (Psalm 119:28; NLT).

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him (Psalm 37:7; NIV).

In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind (2 Corinthians 6:4; NLT).

You alone, O Lord, will keep me safe (Psalm 4:8; NLT).

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Breast cancer, mastectomy,, healing, mental illness, Prayer, suffering

My sorry life

 

Lord, 
I lay my sorry life
Before you –

Folly, weakness, 
Ignorance, 
And fear.

Sickness, sin, 
Self-pity, 
Deep resentment –

This is the 
Wretched harvest 
Of each year.

Hear me, Lord, 
As I bow down
Before you;

Save me, 
Though I have betrayed 
Your trust. 

Forgive my sins;
Restore and heal 
My body; 

And lift up 
My poor spirit
From the dust.

 

References

You will always harvest what you plant (Galatians 6:7; NLT). 

Hear me, Lord, and have mercy on me (Psalm 30;10; NLT).

Like Adam, you broke my covenant and betrayed my trust (Hosea 6:7; NLT).

He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases (Psalm 103:3; NLT).  

He lifts the poor from the dust (1 Samuel 2:8; NLT).

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