My husband has been in hospital for the last few days, after suddenly becoming ill last Wednesday evening. He is safely home now, but we are both exhausted, so for today I’ve chosen a prayer I wrote some time ago. Meanwhile, we are taking life as easily as possible until we both start to feel rather more like our usual selves.
I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf (1 Timothy 2:1; NLT).
I pray for those who live with sickness: Father, help us all;
And for those who dwell in sorrow: Abba, hear our call.
I pray for those who fret and panic: Father, ease our fears;
And for those who are mistreated: Abba, share our tears.
I pray for those who suffer hardship: Father, mark our sighs;
And for those who are in danger: Abba, heed our cries.
I pray for those who walk in darkness: Father, guide us through;
And for those who cannot find you: Abba, lead us, too.
I pray for those who bow in anguish: Father, save each soul;
And for those who die in torment: Abba, make us whole.
His hands make whole (Job 5:18; NKJV).
References
If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the LORD and rely on your God (Isaiah 50:10; NLT).
My loins are filled with anguish; pangs have seized me, like the pangs of a woman in travail; I am bowed down so that I cannot hear, I am dismayed so that I cannot see (Isaiah 21:3; RSV).
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain (Revelation 21:4; NLT).
Today’s prayer arrived when I was still and silent. I didn’t move, or even try to remember it at the time, but afterwards, to my great surprise, I was able to write it down. This has never happened before, so I was truly grateful.
What great nation has a god as near to them as the LORD our God is near to us whenever we call on him? (Deuteronomy 4:7; NLT).
Don’t strive for God
In prayer,
For He is near,
Sharing every longing,
Loss,
And tear;
Bearing all our pain,
And grief,
And fear:
Beside us,
And within – Alreadyhere.
The LORD is here! (Genesis 28:16; GNT).
References
Nothing can ever separate us from God’s love (Romans 8:38; NLT).
In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years (Isaiah 63:9; NLT).
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens (Psalm 68:19; NIV).
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NLT).
God is with us (Matthew 1:23: NLT).
There is …one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).
We are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people” (2 Corinthians 6:16; NLT).
Triptych with the Way to Calvary, the Crucifixion, and the Disrobing of Jesus, Netherlandish or French, ca. 1400–1420, at The Met Fifth Avenue in Gallery 306.
Today’s prayer arrived yesterday morning, but it was such a busy and eventful day that I didn’t start working on it until late last night. I finished it this morning, just a few moments before posting it!
Be silent before the LORD, all humanity (Zechariah 2:13; NLT).
Beforeawordisonmytongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).
Ask, without questions;
Seek, without fear;
Knock, without striking:
Jesus is near.
Pray, without speaking;
Sing, without sound;
Dance, without moving:
Jesus is found.
Join him, forever;
Ages, transcend;
Jesus within us: One without end.
You also are complete through your union with Christ (Colossians 2:10; NLT).
References
Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened (Luke 11:9-10; NLT).
Be still, and know that I am God! (Psalm 46:10; NLT).
The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words. And he who searches the hearts of men knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (Romans 8:26; RSV).
There is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanity – the man Christ Jesus (1 Timothy 2; NLT).
Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).
The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).
Lord, Please make me more like you.
Consume my sins, my heart, renew,
Then I’ll show love in all I do,
And light the way for others, too.
Lord, Please make me more like you,
So all I say is kind and true.
My judgements, fears and greed, subdue,
Until I’m perfect, through and through.
You are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48; NLT).
References
Donotjudge, and you will not be judged. Donot condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37; NIV).
This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ (Ephesians 4:13; NLT).
We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him (Colossians 3:10; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
A batch of fiat rosaries, made with a combination of new and recycled parts.
Today’s prayer is the second of a linked pair which came to me last Wednesday morning. For those who are interested, the first part is called “My way”, and here is a link to it: https://wp.me/p45bCr-e39.
Much study wears you out (Ecclesiastes 12:12; NLT).
No need to study, No need to wait,
No need to doubt, Lord: You are my faith.
No need to waver,
No need to quote,
No need to fear, Lord: You are my hope.
Father, around me, Jesus, above, Spirit, within me: You are my love.
Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT).
Godislove (1 John 4:16; NLT).
References
There is …one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God (Colossians 3:1; NIV). .
We believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory (Romans 8:23; NLT).
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine (Song of Songs 2:16; NIV).
I jumped up to open the door for my love (Song of Songs 5:5; NLT).
A reading from Psalm 139:5-10; NLT.
You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.
St. Peter kneels before Jesus. Image by falco, from Pixabay.
Matching today’s prayer with the image above, gave me a lot of simple pleasure!
When Simon Peter realised what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me – I’m too much of a sinner to be around you” (Luke 5:8; NLT).
Lord,
Don’t leave me,
Even though I’m sinful.
Never leave me, Lord,
For I am weak.
Lord,
Don’t leave me,
Even though I’m nothing.
Never leave me: You are all I seek.
All night long I search for you; in the morning I earnestly seek for God (Isaiah 26:9; NLT).
References
God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5; NIV).
Behold, I am with you every day, even unto the end of time (Matthew 28:20; ABPE).
This prayer arrived yesterday morning, and I was able to spend time putting it into words during the evening:
I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done (Psalm 38:18; NLT).
Lord God,
I’ve said I’m sorry
For my sins.
I’ve asked you to forgive me,
And forget.
Please don’t condemn
Your servant out of hand –
Lord God, don’t scorn my sorrow,
Or reject.
Please heal the fear
That I have lost your love,
So I have nothing worse, Lord, To regret.
Then help me, please,
To leave the past behind,
Forgive myself, and trust
You’ve paid my debt.
I have swept away your sins like a cloud. I have scattered your offenses like the morning mist. Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free (Isaiah 44:22; NLT).
References
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise (Psalm 51:17; NIV).
Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! (Psalm 27:9; NLT).
The kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death (2 Corinthians 7:10; NLT).
The LORD will not reject his people (Psalm 94:14; NLT).
He loves us with unfailing love; the LORD’s faithfulness endures forever. Praise the LORD! (Psalm 117:2; NLT).
Today’s article is the last in a series of three. It draws together what I have learned so far about honest prayer, including praying about the issues hidden in my shadow-self. If you would like to check out the previous two parts, here is the link to Part 1: https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXu, and for Part 2: https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXD.
Then the Lord said to him, “You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy – full of greed and wickedness!” (Luke 11:39; NLT).
Following Biblical teaching on prayer, I want to:
Pray about everything (Philippians 4:6; NLT).
Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV).
Pray simply (Matthew 6:7-13; NLT).
Pray truthfully (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
And these are the things I don’t want to do:
Pray about what I think I should pray about.
Say what I think God wants to hear.
Ask for what I think I should ask for.
Hide whatever is happening in my shadow-self.
My way forward in prayer is to:
Be completely honest, straightforward and direct with God.
Confess my sins as soon as I’m aware of them, say sorry to God, then to the person concerned, and work towards reconciliation, if possible.
Tell God about everything in my shadow-self, especially the issues I would rather hide, ignore, or deny.
Jesus shared everything with God, so I can do the same. For example, I can:
Ask questions, express doubts, and weep.
Tell God about my self-pity, shame and regrets.
Express my frustration, irritation, anger, fear, anguish, grief, dread and despair.
Conclusions
I don’t want to “sanitise” my prayers by concealing my shadow-self. Neither will I say anything which is untrue. For example, I don’t recite prayers about being joyful or loving when these things are not genuinely present in my emotions and behaviour.
Rather, I want to speak the truth in prayer with complete honesty and openness at all times. Nothing I say will ever surprise or shock God, who knows everything about me long before I begin to speak. In fact, he is waiting for me to come to him and to confide in him, just as Jesus confided in him during his time on earth.
The LORDmustwaitfor you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion (Isaiah 30:18; NLT).
Additional references
Beforeaword is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).
I know every thought that comes into your minds (Ezekiel 11:5; NLT).
He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).
I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives (Jeremiah 17:10; ESV).
O LORD, you have examined my heart and knoweverythingaboutme (Psalm 139:1; NLT).
The LORD’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive (Proverbs 20:27; NLT).
In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years (Isaiah 63:9; NLT).
Confide in him at all times, ye people; pour out your heart before him: God is our refuge (Psalm 62:8; DBY).
As for me, I will confide in thee (Psalm 55:23; DBY).
We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
I took a few days off from making rosaries, following the completion of my largest project so far, and because my anxiety and depression are high. Today’s Fiat rosary is the first of a new order.
Briton Rivière – The Temptation in the Wilderness. Wikimedia Commons.
Today’s blog is part two in a series of three short articles discussing the importance of facing and sharing the contents of the shadow-self in honest prayer.
Jesus’ shadow-self
Yesterday’s blog (https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXu), was personal, but today’s will focus on how Jesus faced and expressed his shadow, both with God, and with people. We can have no better example than his.
Temptation (Matthew 4:1-11; NLT)
During the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ forty days in the wilderness, his shadow-self is represented as a being who tempts him to go against his conscience by disobeying God.
These accounts show plainly that even Christ suffered from temptation. Like us, he had to wrestle with, resist, and overcome, his seductive fantasies and impulses. He needed to do this in order to face the huge personal sacrifices his ministry would require of him:
We do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:15; NIV).
Irritation (Luke 9:37-43; NLT)
At times, Jesus became exasperated, both with his followers, and with the Scribes and Pharisees. For example, when his disciples were unable to heal a boy suffering from epilepsy, Jesus became frustrated and irritated. Instead of concealing how he felt, he spoke to them very directly and honestly:
You faithless and corrupt people! How long must I be with you and put up with you? (Luke 9:41; NLT).
Then, having expressed how he felt, he healed the boy, and gave him back to his father.
Anger (John 2:13-17; NLT)
When Jesus saw the established corruption and exploitation taking place in the Temple at Jerusalem he was filled with anger. He purposefully made a whip, using it to drive the merchants and money-changers out of the temple. Chaos resulted as he overturned their stalls, scattered their takings, and chased away their sacrificial animals, whilst crying out:
Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace! (John 2:13-16; NLT).
Anger, whether righteous or otherwise, is part of everyone’s shadow, however much we might prefer to deny and suppress it.
Grief (John 11:1-45; NLT)
When Jesus heard that his friend was very sick, he delayed visiting him and his sisters. Two days later, knowing that Lazarus had died, he set off to their house. There he experienced the anger and tears which so often characterise human grief. It’s inspiring to see Jesus’ human emotions shared so openly to those around him:
When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled (John 11:33; NLT).
Then Jesus wept (John 11:36; NLT).
Fear (Matthew 26:36-46; NLT)
After the Last Supper, Jesus went with his disciples to an olive grove to pray. Overwhelmed by the profound fear rising from his shadow, he could not conceal his anguish. Realising what he was about to undergo, he begged God to take his suffering away.
I find it oddly reassuring to know that even Jesus experienced and expressed dread, longing for it to be taken away. At Gethsemane, as always, his prayers were absolutely direct, unembellished by flowery language, honest, short and to the point:
He became anguished and distressed (Matthew 26:37; NLT).
He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine” (Matthew 26:39; NLT).
He was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood (Luke 22:44; NLT).
Looking ahead
Examining Jesus shadow-side has been a significant challenge for me, but I want to learn from him:
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me (Matthew 11:29; NIV).
Tomorrow I hope to draw some conclusions from this short series on honest prayer.
There they are, overwhelmed with dread, where there was nothing to dread (Psalm 53:5; NIV).
Introduction
For the last few weeks I have been exploring my chronic sense of *dread (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-dTm, for example). Today’s blog describes a way of handling it which came to me whilst I was praying a few days ago.
Psalm 74
My dread springs from the trauma and emotional damage I experienced when I was young. A passage in Psalm 74 accurately captures the toxic atmosphere in my childhood home:
Turn your steps toward these everlasting ruins, all this destruction the enemy has brought on the sanctuary. Your foes roared in the place where you met with us; they set up their standards as signs. They behaved like men wielding axes to cut through a thicket of trees. They smashed all the carved paneling with their axes and hatchets. They burned your sanctuary to the ground; they defiled the dwelling place of your Name. They said in their hearts, “We will crush them completely!” They burned every place where God was worshiped in the land (Psalm 74:3-8; NIV).
Praying before my icon
Last Wednesday I stood praying before my icon of Mary. As I touched both her hand and that of the infant Christ, I was longing for my dread to disappear. Suddenly I saw a different attitude to living with my dread. Thanking her, I hurried to write it down.
My notes became a prayer which encapsulates this new way forward. Now, I am trying to say, “Yes” to my dread, and to thank God for it, in accordance with the charism of the Community of Our Lady of Walsingham (p10, The Book of Life, Community of Our Lady of Walsingham; 2022).
Saying “Yes” to dread
So instead of longing for my dread go away, I now pray like this:
Lord, thank you for my sense of dread. It kept me safe when I was young, never knowing when, or where, the axe of my mother’s fury would fall next.
Please help me to welcome and accept my dread, surrounding it with love and gratitude. I want to rejoice in it as my oldest friend: the primitive, instinctive part of me that has protected me since birth.
Healing touch
After saying a spontaneous version of these words, I lay my hand on my abdomen and whisper to my dread:
My dearest friend, you can relax now. You no longer need to be constantly vigilant, ready to make me freeze, run away, or hide, in order to protect myself. You and I are in God’s hands, and we are safe now, no matter what happens.
A final prayer
Then I end like this:
Lord, thank you for my dread. Please help me to surround it with love. I ask this in your dear Son’s name. Amen.
Give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).
References
*The symptoms of Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), include “A pervasive feeling of apprehension or dread” (helpguide.org).
All your waves and breakers have swept over me (Psalm 42:7; NIV).
I am in the hands of the Lord, the Most High is my safe resting-place (Psalm 91:9; BBE).
