28.5.23: Take a step

Christ Pantocrator, a photo of an icon on my bedroom wall, author unknown.

Just as I reached the end of my few spoken prayers yesterday morning, today’s verses began to flow into my mind. I had to postpone falling silent, so I could write them down.

Their rhythm might sound a bit odd if you read them as a poem, but they fit the tune of my favourite childhood Sunday School chorus, “Turn your eyes towards Jesus”. I tried to include a YouTube link to it, but failed.

The original moving, meditative song was written by Helen Lemmel, in 1918. Her words are available on Google, but I don’t want to risk breaching copyright by quoting them here.

Instead, here is a recording of me singing today’s prayer to her tune. Please forgive my weak voice and shortness of breath:

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Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).

Take a step towards Jesus,
Turn to his Father, repent,
Then relinquish selfishness,
Take your cross,
And follow the Saviour
God sent.

Christ forgives every trespass,
Taking away all your sin,
Then He sets you free
For abundant life,
As you grow every day
More like Him.

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).


References

Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38; NLT).

God so loved the world, that he even gave his only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world should be saved by him (John 3:16-17; LB).

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10; NIV).

As we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world (1 John 4:17; NLT).

This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ (Ephesians 4:13; NLT).

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

22.4.23: When I wake

Dawn, on Pixabay

Today I’m exhausted, so I’ve chosen a prayer written in happier and more peaceful times to share with you:

When I wake up, you are still with me! (Psalm 139:18; NLT).

When I wake, Lord: adoration:
I’m so glad that you are near.
Later on, Lord: intercession,
Knowing that you always hear.

All day long, Lord, is confession:
Sharing every sin with you,
And receiving your forgiveness
For each wrong I think, say, do.

In the evening, Lord, we rest
Together, as I hold your cross.
Then I sleep within your hands:
No sense of pain, or fear, or loss.

Thus, we live, Lord, in communion:
I, a sinner; you, God’s Son,
Delighting in our friendship, Lord,
And sharing everything as one.

No matter what each day may bring,
I know that you, Lord, will be there,
Because we live in unity, through faith,
Hope, love and constant prayer.

Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT). 

Pray constantly (1 Thessalonians 5:17; TIV). 

2.4.23: Starting again

Carrying the cross. 2011. Canvas, oil. Artist A.N. Mironov; Wickimedia.

While I was praying yesterday morning I tried so hard to resist having to write this prayer down, but, as always, it won. As an added bonus, the second line of each couplet arrived first, so I had to work backwards!

O God, you know how foolish I am; my sins cannot be hidden from you (Psalm 69:5; NLT). 

Jesus, you know all my sins:
Forgive me; let me start again.

I’ll give up all my selfish ways:
Please strengthen me to start anew. 

Taking up my cross, I’ll serve:
Enable me to start afresh. 

Jesus, you’re my only hope:
Permit me, Lord, to follow you. 

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me” (Mark 8:34; NLT).


References 

Forgive all my sins (Psalm 25:18; NLT).

He forgives all my sins (Psalm 103:3; NLT).

Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth. Remember me in the light of your unfailing love, for you are merciful, O LORD (Psalm 25:7; NLT).

I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more (Isaiah 43:25; NIV).

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland (Isaiah 43:18-19; NIV).


A reading from Psalm 103:8-14; NLT.

The LORD is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.

For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.


The Rosary Hospital 

I was really pleased with how this rosary worked out, but when I trimmed off the excess cord, one junction started to fray. I still glued it, but knew in my heart of hearts that it wasn’t good enough. So I photographed it, then took it to pieces, ready to re-make it tomorrow: even a rosary can “start again”.


25.3.23: Your will

https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?search=Jesus+carries+cross&title=Special:MediaSearch&go=Go&type=image

This prayer came to me yesterday, despite how I’m struggling with migraine and dread at present:

May your will be done (Matthew 6:10; NLT). 

May your will be done today, Lord,
In my body, heart and mind;
In my spirit, and my life,
Then all my actions will be kind.

May I call upon your name,
For I am yours, and you are mine.
Fill my thoughts, and words, and deeds,
Till I become your living shrine.

May I know your strength and courage;
Take my hand, for I am blind.
May I trust you, Lord, and share
Your cross today, our souls entwined.

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).


References 

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

I will put my Spirit in you and make you eager to obey my laws and teachings (Ezekiel 36:27; CEV).

I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions. In those days I will pour out my Spirit even on servants – men and women alike. And I will cause wonders in the heavens and on the earth – blood and fire and columns of smoke. The sun will become dark, and the moon will turn blood red before that great and terrible day of the LORD arrives. But everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved (Joel 2:28-32; NLT).

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? (1 Corinthians 6:19; NLT).

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT).

Trust in God, and trust also in me (John 14:1; NLT).

 

6.3.23: My hope

Life is very demanding at present in terms of medical issues, so I’m posting early today, and sending my very best wishes to every reader:

My hope, Lord, is in you (Psalm 25:21; NIV).

My hope, my faith,
My joy new-born;
My light, my truth,
My sacred thorn.

My pain, my grief,
My gain, my loss;
My love, my life,
My way, my cross.

Jesus told him, I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6; NLT). 

18.2.23: Illness

It’s been a rather eventful few days. Last week I found a lump on my sternum, so I arranged to see a doctor on Monday. He also found a swollen lymph node in the armpit on my mastectomy side. These symptoms need to be checked out, so I had a chest X-ray on Tuesday, and now have an appointment at the Breast Clinic for next Monday.

Then, on Tuesday, after a whole year of medical tests, I separately received a diagnosis of Autonomic Neuropathy, which is complicated by having a very slow heartbeat. I’ll be trying a drug treatment first, but if it doesn’t help, or proves intolerable, I’ll need to have a pacemaker fitted. 

I’ve already said, “Yes”, to God, and given thanks for all these things. Next week I will hopefully be able to report back on what happens at the clinic.

Meanwhile, here is a prayer which came to me in the night after receiving my diagnosis:

If the Son sets you free, you are truly free (John 8:36; NLT). 

Lord,

Though I am ill,
I’m truly free:

Free to love you,
Just as you love me;

Free to bear my cross,
And follow you:

Lord, there’s nothing else
I’d rather do.

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).


References 

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT). 

Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV). 

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT). 

15.2.23: I want to start afresh

I wanted today’s blog to be about what I learned this morning in prayer, but it’s been another demanding day, and I’m very fatigued at present, so I haven’t had enough time to finalise the writing. However, I’m looking forward to sharing it with you when the time is right. Instead, here is a poem I wrote a little while ago:

Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord (Lamentations 3:40; KJV).

Lord God,
I want to start afresh:

To turn from
My self-centred ways,

To love you, Lord,
In everyone,

And try to grow like Christ,
Your Son.

Lord God,
I want to start again:

To do my best to serve
And pray,

To wrestle with
Each chronic sin,

To bear my cross,
And follow Him.

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).

6.2.23: Wherever I look

After writing “Bad dreams”, I had a complete day off yesterday, which included a bit of dancing, some carefully time-limited gardening, and a lot of sleeping!

Some time ago I started to notice how many crosses there are everywhere. I see them in the woodwork of buildings, when road-signs happen to align, on pavements, in shadows, and in all sorts of unexpected places. At one time, I tried to photograph them, but didn’t succeed, as it is my eyes which pick them out and my brain which welcomes them, rather than a camera lens, which just shows a collection of objects. Anyway, these serendipitous sightings of crosses are the starting-place for today’s prayer:

I am with you always, even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20; NLT).

Wherever I look, I see the cross
Where Christ was crucified,
Reminding me of his despair,
His pain, and how he died.

Wherever I go I try to spread
The love he came to give,
Because he died for everyone,
So all may fully live.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10; NLT).


The Rosary Hospital

Here is a rosary I made a day or two ago, now completed, ready to wrap and deliver. I wish it were mine!

29.1.23: Seeing Christ

Today’s blog builds on one of my very favourite prayers. I say it every morning, having come across it many years ago in “Pocket Prayers for Pilgrims”. This little book was compiled by John Pritchard (Church House Publishing; 2011; page 33). Here it is:

Lord God,
Whoever you bring into our path today,
May we see Christ in them,
And may they see Christ in us,
For your love’s sake.
Amen.

Over the years, without even realising it, I’ve made this prayer more personal. Then, when I was saying it with my circlet yesterday (on bead 1/4), I suddenly saw how it could be extended:

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

Lord God,
Whoever you bring into my path,
My mind,
And my prayers today,
May I see Christ in them,
And may they see Christ in me,
For Thy love’s sake,
Amen.

All of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT). 

Having written this down I began to pray again (still on 1/4), but a question immediately flashed into my mind:

Do you really think it makes any difference to God whether we are Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant, Methodist, Evangelical, Lutheran, or any other denomination? 

The answer, of course, is No – it makes no difference at all, because what God wants is for us to be Christian in the fullest and truest sense of the word. So what does being a Christian actually mean?

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).

It means giving up our selfish ways,
Taking up our cross each day,
And following Jesus.

It means growing more like him
In all we think, say,
And do.

It means seeing, loving,
And serving him
In everyone,

Including those we disagree with,
Or disapprove of,
And those who hate or hurt us.

Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! (Matthew 5:44; NLT).

By the time I’d written this down, I hardly dared to continue praying, for fear of what might follow. However, I needn’t have worried, because I was able to let bead 1/4 go, and to move on, though of course I never know what will come next. In fact, bead 1/5 turned out to be full of heartfelt thanks and praise, for which I was very grateful.


References

Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 19:19; NLT). 

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5; NIV).

Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me (Matthew 25:49; NIV). 


The Rosary Hospital 

Today I was able to begin trying out the new rosary-making method I stumbled upon yesterday. This means starting in the middle of the main circlet.

Apart from giving one decade 13 beads, and having to take back a couple of barrel knots to put this right, it worked out well. At the moment, I don’t really understand why it works, but that’s not important. What counts is that it enables me to make two identical knots at the places where the main circle joins the centrepiece, as shown in the photo below. Hopefully, I’ll be able to finish making this rosary tomorrow.

14.1.23: Prayer #2

As I was  beginning to surface from a bad dream early yesterday morning, I heard a voice call out my name: “Ruth!” A few moments later it happened again: “Ruth!” I felt disorientated and confused, too sleepy to respond.

Sitting on the edge of my bed (I have to stand up slowly), I tried to pray about what had happened, but I don’t think I made much sense. 

Even once I began to move about, it took me several more minutes to realise that I could have answered: “Speak, Lord, your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:9; NLT). I prayed about this, but felt sad that I had missed my chance to respond.

After breakfast it was hard to pray for others, as discussed yesterday (here is a link: https://wp.me/p45bCr-deo). Then a possible way forward suddenly came into my mind.

Introductory prayers
Using the first section of my five-decade rosary (the cross and the five beads which lead to the main circle), I kissed the cross, and used it to make the sign of the cross. Then I said five of my favourite morning prayers, one on each bead. Pausing at the centrepiece, I asked the Holy Spirit to direct my prayers, and to help me to pray.

First decade: Praying for others
Next, I held the first bead of the first decade whilst praying for the first person who came into my mind. After each bead, I moved on to the next, waiting to see who it was for, then praying for them, as described in the link above.

When I reached the fixed “Our Father” bead, I kissed it, and made the sign of the cross with it again, whilst saying: “Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Then I rested for a moment with my arms crossed on my breast, wondering what would come next. 

Second decade: Giving thanks
Almost immediately, I saw that the next decade was for giving thanks, so that’s exactly what I did. On each bead, I waited to see what came into my mind, then gave thanks for it. I knew that this could include saying thank-you for “bad” things, as well as “good” ones.

Half-way through the second decade, I saw what needed to come next: asking God’s forgiveness. Pausing to write this down, I continued giving thanks, until the next “Glory be”, when I rested again.

Third decade: Saying sorry, and asking forgiveness 
On the next group of beads, I said I was sorry for ten different things I had got wrong, one at a time, including my long-standing flaws and weaknesses. I asked God’s forgiveness and help on each bead, as before.

Fourth decade: Forgiving others
By the time I reached this point, I was tiring, but could see that the next ten beads would be about forgiving others. In fact there was no one at all I needed to forgive, so I moved straight on to the last ten beads.

Fifth decade: Praising God
The final decade was devoted to praising ten different aspects of God, which was very easy to do.

Conclusion
I’m hoping that this way of using my rosary might be particularly helpful when praying with words feels like an unmanageable task, or I’m finding it hard to concentrate. Holding the beads one at a time will hopefully help to keep me centred and grounded. It also limits the number of prayers on each subject to ten, though obviously this shouldn’t be too rigid.

The prayer on each bead will be as short, honest and direct as I can make it, so it will hopefully be possible to develop a momentum that keeps me moving forwards to the next prayer, and the next, rather than getting bogged down, or feeling overwhelmed and giving up. Finally, I plan to try starting and ending my circle of prayer by holding the cross during a period of silence.