Early yesterday morning, as I sleepily finished saying the Lord’s Prayer and began to pray for the people who scammed us last week, the first four lines and the shape of today’s poem struck me very forcefully.
From within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you (Mark 7:21-23; NLT).
It’s better to be tricked
Than to trick others.
It’s better to be hated
Than to hate.
It’s better, Lord, to suffer
Than to lie, and cheat, and steal,
But better still to feel ashamed –
Before it’s far too late.
It’s better to be kind
Than to be angry.
It’s better to be patient
Than to rage.
It’s better to be martyred
Than to harm, abuse, or kill,
But best of all is to repent –
For You, alone, can save.
Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign LORD rescues us from death (Psalm 68:20; NLT).
References
Verse 1
If your hand – even your stronger hand – causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell (Matthew 5:30; N,T).
Abraham said to him, “Son, remember that during your lifetime you had everything you wanted, and Lazarus had nothing. So now he is here being comforted, and you are in anguish. And besides, there is a great chasm separating us. No one can cross over to you from here, and no one can cross over to us from there” (Luke 16:25-6; NLT).
Verse 2
Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law (Romans 13:10; NLT).
The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-3; NLT).
From then on Jesus began to preach, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near” (Matthew 4:17; NLT).
Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins (Acts 2:38; NLT).
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15; NLT).
There is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away! (Luke 15:7; NLT).
I woke early yesterday and couldn’t go back to sleep, so began to pray instead. As I said my familiar morning prayers, the opening words, shape and direction of today’s blog burst into my mind.
And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.”
(Luke 1:46-7; NIV).
1. I glorify the grace of God,
The mind, and heart, and face
Of God.
2. I celebrate the light of God,
The truth, and peace, and might
Of God.
3. I bow before the fire of God,
The jealousy and ire
Of God.
4. I venerate the hope of God,
The comfort, joy, and scope
Of God.
5. I witness to the love of God,
The Spirit, and the Son
Of God.
6. Lord,
Forgive my sin and shame,
And help me magnify your Name.
Oh, magnify the LORD with me,
and let us exalt His name together.
(Psalm 34:3; NKJV).
References
Verse 1: *ThegraceofGod has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. (Titus 2:11; NLT).
*The LORD your God is more powerful than all other gods and lords, and his tremendous power is to be feared. His decisions are always fair, and you cannot bribe him to change his mind. (Deuteronomy 10:17; CEV).
*The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood” (Genesis 8:21; NIV).
*Jacob named the place Peniel (which means “faceofGod”) (Genesis 32:30; NLT).
Verse 2: * Godislight (1 John 1:5; NLT). *The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).
*The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).
*Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you (2 Chronicles 20:6; NIV).
Verse 3: The LORD your God is a devouring fire; he is a jealous God (Deuteronomy 4:24; NLT). God’s anger will descend on them in torrents (Job 20:28; NLT).
Verse 4:
*I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13; NLT).
*He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us (2 Corinthians 1:4; NLT).
*Yahweh, your God, is in the midst of you, a mighty one who will save. He will rejoice over you with joy. He will calm you in his love. He will rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17; WEB).
*God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end (Ecclesiastes 3:11; NLT).
Verse 5: *God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).
*No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the loveofGod that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:39; NLT).
*God is Spirit (John 4:24; NLT).
*The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the SonofGod” (Luke 1:35; NLT).
Verse 6: *Forgive us our sins (Luke 11:4; NLT).
*You will remember your sins and cover your mouth in silent shame when I forgive you of all that you have done. I, the Sovereign LORD, have spoken! (Ezekiel 16:63; NLT).
Gradually, I’m learning to let go of words during prayer, and allow myself to be led, in trust.
The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (Romans 8:26-7; NRSV).
Spirit, help me now to pray,
And lift my words to God above.
Plead through me for other people;
Teach me to express your love.
Intercede for me today, And ask the Lord to cleanse my sin.
Beg Him, please, to heal the guilt
And shame I carry, deep within.
Intervene for your name’s sake,
And speak for me both day and night
With sighs too deep for my poor words –
Until, at last, we reunite.
The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).
Yesterday morning, as I greeted my icons one by one, the first words of this prayer came directly into my mind. These verses attempt to describe experiencing the presence of Christ during wordless prayer: in life, whilst dying, and in paradise. We can dip in and out of this experience until we die, but after death it will be all we know, and all we want to know.
Be silent before the LORD, all humanity.
(Zechariah 2:13; NLT).
Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.
(Exodus 20:21; NLT).
1. Golden darkness deep within,
Far from stress, and shame and sin:
Lost in worship, bliss and peace
We rest, in life, with Christ, our Priest.
2. Golden splendour all about, Letting go of dread and doubt:
Lost in rapture, joy and love
We walk, with Christ, to heaven above.
3. Golden glory all around, Free from pain, with mercy crowned:
Lost in ecstasy, we soar
To join with Christ, for evermore.
Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever (1 Thessalonians 4:17; NLT).
References
1: Life
I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches from secret places so that you may know that I am the Lord (Isaiah 45:3; CSB).
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves (2 Corinthians 4:7; NLT).
Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:28-9; NLT).
We have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God (Hebrews 4:14; NLT).
2: Dying
Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them (Luke 2:9; NLT).
Worship the LORD in all his holy splendor (1 Chronicles 16:29; NLT).
Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings (Hebrews 10:22; NIV).
Jesus’ appearance was transformed, and his clothes became dazzling white, far whiter than any earthly bleach could ever make them (Mark 9:2-3; NLT).
Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God still, and trust in me. There are many rooms in my Father’s house; if there were not, I should have told you. I am going now to prepare a place for you, and after I have gone and prepared you a place, I shall return to take you with me; so that where I am you may be too” (John 14:1-3; JB).
ThoughIwalk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).
The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).
3: Beyond death
The Son radiates God’s own glory and expresses the very character of God (Hebrews 1:3; NLT).
He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies (Psalm 103:4; NLT).
Those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31; NLT).
Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).
Today’s prayer came to me most unexpectedly yesterday, whilst I was saying grace before breakfast.
Everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard (Romans 3:23; NLT).
We all have sins that shame us,
Behaviour we regret;
We all have faults and failures,
But Jesus loves us yet.
We know our inner darkness,
The things we can’t put right,
The evils on our conscience,
But Jesus is our light.
We all have guilty secrets,
We haven’t done God’s will;
We’ve judged and wounded others,
But Jesus loves us still.
We know that we are nothing,
Just grains of sand, or dust,
But through Christ comes forgiveness,
So in His name we trust.
Through this man Jesus there is forgiveness for your sins (Acts 13:38; NLT).
There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12; NLT).
Trust in God, and trust also in me (John 14:1; NLT).
References
I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark (John 12:46; NLT).
Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12; NLT).
He loves us with unfailing love; the LORD’s faithfulness endures forever (Psalm 117:2; NLT).
I am nothing but dust (Genesis 18:27; NIV).
There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent (Luke 24:47; NLT).
A reading: Romans 3:22-25; NLT.
We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood.
Today’s article is the last in a series of three. It draws together what I have learned so far about honest prayer, including praying about the issues hidden in my shadow-self. If you would like to check out the previous two parts, here is the link to Part 1: https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXu, and for Part 2: https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXD.
Then the Lord said to him, “You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy – full of greed and wickedness!” (Luke 11:39; NLT).
Following Biblical teaching on prayer, I want to:
Pray about everything (Philippians 4:6; NLT).
Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV).
Pray simply (Matthew 6:7-13; NLT).
Pray truthfully (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
And these are the things I don’t want to do:
Pray about what I think I should pray about.
Say what I think God wants to hear.
Ask for what I think I should ask for.
Hide whatever is happening in my shadow-self.
My way forward in prayer is to:
Be completely honest, straightforward and direct with God.
Confess my sins as soon as I’m aware of them, say sorry to God, then to the person concerned, and work towards reconciliation, if possible.
Tell God about everything in my shadow-self, especially the issues I would rather hide, ignore, or deny.
Jesus shared everything with God, so I can do the same. For example, I can:
Ask questions, express doubts, and weep.
Tell God about my self-pity, shame and regrets.
Express my frustration, irritation, anger, fear, anguish, grief, dread and despair.
Conclusions
I don’t want to “sanitise” my prayers by concealing my shadow-self. Neither will I say anything which is untrue. For example, I don’t recite prayers about being joyful or loving when these things are not genuinely present in my emotions and behaviour.
Rather, I want to speak the truth in prayer with complete honesty and openness at all times. Nothing I say will ever surprise or shock God, who knows everything about me long before I begin to speak. In fact, he is waiting for me to come to him and to confide in him, just as Jesus confided in him during his time on earth.
The LORDmustwaitfor you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion (Isaiah 30:18; NLT).
Additional references
Beforeaword is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).
I know every thought that comes into your minds (Ezekiel 11:5; NLT).
He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).
I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives (Jeremiah 17:10; ESV).
O LORD, you have examined my heart and knoweverythingaboutme (Psalm 139:1; NLT).
The LORD’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive (Proverbs 20:27; NLT).
In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years (Isaiah 63:9; NLT).
Confide in him at all times, ye people; pour out your heart before him: God is our refuge (Psalm 62:8; DBY).
As for me, I will confide in thee (Psalm 55:23; DBY).
We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
I took a few days off from making rosaries, following the completion of my largest project so far, and because my anxiety and depression are high. Today’s Fiat rosary is the first of a new order.
LongShadows. Self-portrait of photographer with friend. Lackland AFB, San Antonio, Texas (November 2006). Photo by Peter Rimar; Wikimedia.
Today’s verses came to me yesterday morning as I lay in silent prayer shortly after waking up. They arrived with an involuntary groan, and struck me to the heart.
If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God (Matthew 5:23-4; NLT).
I can’t be whole without my shadow, Lord,
Without the parts I bury and deny.
For you know all about me, good and bad:
The sins I haven’t faced, which underlie
The guilt and shame tormenting me within, My sharp regrets, my cowardice and dread
Of being honest, Lord, with those I’ve hurt.
Please help me to confess at last, instead.
Accepting all the anger I deserve,
I’ll say I’m sorry, ceasing to defend
Myself against the truth of every wrong,
And then my shadow will become my friend.
With you, I’ll face the darkness in my soul;
My conscience will be healed, then I’ll be whole.
He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but Hishands make whole (Job 5:18; NKJV).
References
Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).
I know every thought that comes into your minds (Ezekiel 11:5; NLT).
He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).
The LORD’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive (Proverbs 20:27; NLT).
You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).
Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).
Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked (1 Timothy 1:19; NLT).
The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith (1 Timothy 1:5; NLT).
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).
Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear (1 Timothy 1:19; NLT).
The Rosary Hospital
Yesterday evening I enjoyed making a long, chunky Fiat rosary, suitable for someone with sensory issues of sight or touch. Fiat rosaries don’t usually have a centrepiece, and in making this one, I discovered a way of managing without, which was new for me. I particularly like the heavy cross, which came as part of a donation of used and broken rosaries. My warm thanks to its generous donor.
Whilst praying, the morning after writing yesterday’s blog (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-dKZ), I experienced God in a way that was completely new to me. It proved very difficult to express in words afterwards, but I’ve done my best:
This prayer Is like a dream of love
Beyond this world
And all I know;
A dream in which The truth is all,
Where mercy And forgiveness reign
In God, beyond my guilt And shame;
Beyond my life, Beyond my death:
One mind, one heart, One soul, one breath.
The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became alivingsoul (Genesis 2:7; KJV).
Reference
The Spirit of God hath made me, andthebreath of the Almighty hath given me life (Job 33:4; KJV).
The life of every living thing is in his hand, and the breath of every human being (Job 12:10; NLT).
The dust returnstothe ground it came from, and thespiritreturnstoGod who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).
There is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:4-6; NLT).
You also are complete through your union with Christ (Colossians 2:10; NLT).
A reading from Philippians 3:8-11; NLT.
Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him.
I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.
I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!
