Category: temptation

29.4.23: Honest prayer #2

Ruth Kirk
Briton Rivière – The Temptation in the Wilderness. Wikimedia Commons.

Today’s blog is part two in a series of three short articles discussing the importance of facing and sharing the contents of the shadow-self in honest prayer.

Jesus’ shadow-self

Yesterday’s blog (https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXu), was personal, but today’s will focus on how Jesus faced and expressed his shadow, both with God, and with people. We can have no better example than his.

Temptation (Matthew 4:1-11; NLT)

During the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ forty days in the wilderness, his shadow-self is represented as a being who tempts him to go against his conscience by disobeying God.

These accounts show plainly that even Christ suffered from temptation. Like us, he had to wrestle with, resist, and overcome, his seductive fantasies and impulses. He needed to do this in order to face the huge personal sacrifices his ministry would require of him:

We do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:15; NIV).

Irritation (Luke 9:37-43; NLT)

At times, Jesus became exasperated, both with his followers, and with the Scribes and Pharisees. For example, when his disciples were unable to heal a boy suffering from epilepsy, Jesus became frustrated and irritated. Instead of concealing how he felt, he spoke to them very directly and honestly:

You faithless and corrupt people! How long must I be with you and put up with you? (Luke 9:41; NLT).

Then, having expressed how he felt, he healed the boy, and gave him back to his father.

Anger (John 2:13-17; NLT)

When Jesus saw the established corruption and exploitation taking place in the Temple at Jerusalem he was filled with anger. He purposefully made a whip, using it to drive the merchants and money-changers out of the temple. Chaos resulted as he overturned their stalls, scattered their takings, and chased away their sacrificial animals, whilst crying out:

Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace! (John 2:13-16; NLT). 

Anger, whether righteous or otherwise, is part of everyone’s shadow, however much we might prefer to deny and suppress it.

Grief (John 11:1-45; NLT)

When Jesus heard that his friend was very sick, he delayed visiting him and his sisters. Two days later, knowing that Lazarus had died, he set off to their house. There he experienced the anger and tears which so often characterise human grief. It’s inspiring to see Jesus’ human emotions shared so openly to those around him:

When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled (John 11:33; NLT). 

Then Jesus wept (John 11:36; NLT). 

Fear (Matthew 26:36-46; NLT)

After the Last Supper, Jesus went with his disciples to an olive grove to pray. Overwhelmed by the profound fear rising from his shadow, he could not conceal his anguish. Realising what he was about to undergo, he begged God to take his suffering away.

I find it oddly reassuring to know that even Jesus experienced and expressed dread, longing for it to be taken away. At Gethsemane, as always, his prayers were absolutely direct, unembellished by flowery language, honest, short and to the point:

He became anguished and distressed (Matthew 26:37; NLT).

He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine” (Matthew 26:39; NLT).

He was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood (Luke 22:44; NLT).

Looking ahead

Examining Jesus shadow-side has been a significant challenge for me, but I want to learn from him:

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me (Matthew 11:29; NIV).

Tomorrow I hope to draw some conclusions from this short series on honest prayer.

23.3.23: The shadow self

Ruth Kirk
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?search=Shadow&title=Special:MediaSearch&go=Go&type=image

Introduction

Today’s blog is about the shadow self. This term encompasses all the aspects of ourselves we find so uncomfortable, shameful and unacceptable that we ignore, conceal, or deny them. However, it is essential to find ways of recognising and expressing these hidden aspects, so we can integrate them into a fuller understanding of ourselves (see “Owning your own shadow” by Robert A. Johnson; Harper One: 1991).

My shadow, for example, includes sin, guilt, shame, selfishness, self-pity, depression, irritability, judging, anxiety, fear, resentment, bitterness, anger, insecurity and feeling unwanted. For a long time, I have habitually taken captive my thoughts and feelings along these lines, saying sorry to God as soon as I become aware of them. I then replace them with something more loving, in accordance with Paul’s teaching (2 Corinthians 10:5; NIV). However, until very recently, I have never considered choosing to express them in any other way.

Instead, I generally keep negative feelings and thoughts concealed in my shadow. Unfortunately, this is unhealthy, as these spontaneous aspects of myself are significant aspects of my whole being.

Being honest

Over the last few weeks I’ve begun to grasp the spiritual importance of maintaining a constant awareness of what is happening in my shadow. This enables me to be more honest with myself, with God, and, potentially, with other people.

Of course, I don’t want to simply “act out” the contents of my shadow through impulsive, uncontrolled behaviour. Rather, I want to be in touch with them, so I can choose how to respond. Moreover, if I decide to express them, I want to do so as safely and constructively as possible, for the sake of both others and myself.

Such expression doesn’t necessarily mean voicing my shadow self directly, though occasionally this may be appropriate. Instead, I choose to express my shadow through dance, writing and prayer. Art, music, sports and many other activities can also provide alternative creative outlets.

It won’t go away

Staying in touch with my shadow self and finding safe ways to express it is essential, because ignoring it does not make it go away. Trying to push challenging emotions such as anger, hatred and fear out of awareness leaves them free to create havoc in the unconscious mind. This is how sudden outbursts of exasperation, temper, violence and panic can seem to strike “out of the blue”.

The Psalms

The Psalms offer a healthy example of honouring the shadow by expressing it honestly in prayer, alongside more positive aspects of the self. The writer of Psalm Three, for example, begins by praising God for helping them in the face of their enemies’ threats. The tone remains positive until verse seven, when it changes dramatically, as the author gives vent to the pent-up fear, anger and vengefulness concealed in their shadow:

“Arise, O LORD! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked!” (Psalm 3:7; NLT). 

Once these negative impulses have been fully voiced, the writer is able to finish on a more positive note:

“Victory comes from you, O LORD. May you bless your people” (Psalm 3:8; NLT).

If the writer had sanitised this psalm by omitting the thoughts and emotions hidden in their shadow, it would have been incomplete. This would have made it far less helpful to both themself and their future readers.

Conclusion

The raw, spontaneous truths hidden in our shadow are vital aspects of the self, treasures without which we cannot be complete. To reject them means being out of contact with essential aspects of ourselves.

Learning to integrate the contents of our shadow with our more positive thoughts and emotions is therefore vital for authentic spiritual growth and healing. As Johnson states: “These disowned parts are extremely valuable and cannot be disregarded… To honour and accept one’s shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It is whole-making and thus holy and the most important experience of a lifetime” (Johnson; ibid, pp ix-x).

So now, after that long introduction, here is today’s prayer:

You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).

Lord, 

Thank you for my shadow –
May I face it,
Acknowledging its role
In all I do.

Thank you for my shadow –
May I own it,
So I can choose
To share it all with you.

Thank you for my shadow –
May I love it,
For you desire my honesty,
I know.

Thank you for my shadow –
I embrace it.
Lord, may these secret riches
Help me grow.

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).

Desert

Ruth Kirk

Context: Continuing my recent theme of the inner shadow-self (unconscious mind), as the seat of temptation, this blog took shape today whilst I was having a Sunday lie-in.

Then Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan River. He was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, where he was tempted by the devil for forty days. Jesus ate nothing all that time and became very hungry.
(Luke 4:1-2; NLT).  

A wolf from the desert will pounce on them.
(Jeremiah 5:6; NLT). 

Forty long days
In the desert, alone:
Thirsty, tormented,
You faced the unknown.

Nightmare temptations
Arose in your heart:
Heat, cold and weariness
All played their part.

Though hungry for bread
And for proof of God’s love,
For power, and rescue
From heaven above,

Lord, you won through,
Overcoming them all,
And that’s why you’re able
To help when I call.

So, I keep going
Though dogged here by sin,
Lord, as I wander
The desert within.

We do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are –
yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:15; NLT ).

Remember how YHWH, your God, led you on a wandering path through the desert for forty years, humbling and testing you, to learn what was in your heart; whether you would keep God’s commands or not.
(Deuteronomy 8:2; TIB).

The devil

Ruth Kirk

Introduction

We do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:15; NIV).

On Monday morning, a friend asked me how I understand Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness, which prompted me to re-read Luke’s familiar story:

Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan River. He was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, where he was tempted by the devil for forty days (Luke 4:1; NLT). 

During this time, Jesus had to wrestle against the temptations caused by his desperate physical hunger (vv2-4), his desire for earthly power (vv5-8), and his longing to test out his trust in God (vv9-12). 

Discussion

Many people have written extensively about what Jesus experienced in the wilderness, but I would like to focus briefly on the mysterious, alarming figure who tempted him.

An immediate problem is raised by the Greek word “diabolou”, which is often translated as “the devil”. However, this word is actually an adjective, rather than a name or a noun. It means “prone to slander, slanderous, or accusing falsely” (Strong’s Greek). Thus, “the devil” is clearly not a being of any kind. 

I find this interesting and helpful, as I have never seen the “devil” as a being. Rather, I understand the personification of “accusing falsely” as a way of representing Christ’s inner struggles with the temptations to which all human beings are subject. Welling up spontaneously from the unconscious mind, powerful, disturbing desires and impulses can assail us at any time, especially when we are very vulnerable, as was Jesus in the desert. 

Jesus’ understanding of temptation

Jesus came to understand the inner, psychological process of temptation very well, both from personal experience and through observing others. This how he explained it to a crowd one day: 

It is what comes from inside that defiles you. For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness…

It is interesting to note that there is no suggestion at all here that people are tempted by any kind of external force or being. Rather, Jesus concludes his teaching by stating firmly that:

…All these vile things come from within (Mark 7:20-23; NLT).

Conclusion

As a human being, though also divine, Jesus was subject to temptations, just like us (Hebrews 4:15; NIV), and how strong they must have been during those challenging days alone in the wilderness. He had just experienced one of the high points of his life: hearing God’s approving voice, and receiving the Holy Spirit at his baptism. Then, immediately afterwards, he felt compelled to spend many days alone in the wilderness, facing extreme heat, cold, hunger, thirst, and the constant threat posed by wild animals.

What a strange, challenging experience this must have been, causing him much deep physical and mental suffering, so it’s not surprising that the Gospel-writers’ accounts faithfully reflect the vivid, hallucinatory quality of Jesus’ desert retreat. Perhaps this is what leads so many translators to personify the powerful reality of his inner temptations, by turning them into an external being they called “the devil”. 

You are my source

Ruth Kirk

All things come from you (1 Chronicles 29:14; NKJV). 

You are my source, and my formation;
You are my rock, my sure foundation;
You are the Lord of all creation:
You are Almighty God.

You are my way, and my salvation;
You are my shield against temptation;
You are my truth, my liberation:
You are the Son of Man.

You are my peace, my consolation;
You are my light, my revelation;
You are my fire, my inspiration:
You are the Holy Ghost.

You are my hope, and my vocation;
You are my faith, my consecration;
You are my life, my consummation:
You are the Three-In-One.

Go and make disciples of all the nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19; NLT). 

The Lord is One (Deuteronomy 6:4; BSB).

Just like you

Ruth Kirk

The Word became human
and made his home among us.
(John 1:14; NLT).

Lord,
I’m human, just like you –
Like you, may I be kind.

Lord,
I’m tempted, just like you –
Like you, may I be pure.

Lord,
I’m fearful, just like you –
Like you, may I be brave.

Lord,
I’m humble, just like you –
Your weak, unworthy slave.

🖤

Whoever wants to be first among you
must be the slave of everyone else.
(Mark 10:44; NLT).

 

Stand up*

Ruth Kirk

Stand up and praise the Lord your God!
(Nehemiah 9:5; NLT). 

Stand up to fear and panic,
Depression, hurt and loss,
To loneliness and anguish
With Christ, who faced the cross.

Stand up to pain and sickness,
Exhaustion, grief and stress,
To suffering and sorrow
With Christ, who shares each test.

Stand up to hate and envy,
Temptation, pride and sin,
To selfishness and anger
With Christ, who waits within.

Stand up to them with Jesus,
Confront them every day,
Then you will gain your freedom
With Christ, who is our way.

🖤

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6; NLT).

*This prayer can be sung to the tune of “Stand up, stand up for Jesus.”

Testing and temptation

Ruth Kirk

The Lord your God is testing you to find out whether you love him
with all your heart and with all your soul.
(Deuteronomy 13:3; NIV).

When I’m being tested,
May I fear you, Lord, alone.
When I’m feeling tempted,
May I cling to you, alone.

When I’m being tested,
May I serve you, Lord, alone,
And when I’m feeling tempted,
May I follow you, alone.

When I’m being tested,
May I praise you, Lord, alone.
When I’m feeling tempted,
May I worship you, alone.

When I’m being tested,
May I love you, Lord, alone,
And when I’m feeling tempted,
May I trust in you, alone.

🖤

God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation.
Afterward they will receive the crown of life
that God has promised to those who love him.
(James 1:12; NLT).

When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
For you know that when your faith is tested,
your endurance has a chance to grow.
(James 1:2-3; NLT).

 

My hands are soiled

Ruth Kirk

From within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you
(Mark 7:20-23; NLT).

My hands are soiled.
My tongue has lied.
My feet have followed
Foolish ways.

My heart is cold;
My judgments, harsh.
My thoughts betray you
All my days.

My faith is weak.
My hope has gone.
My love for you, and all,
Falls short.

Lord, rescue me!
Forgive my sins,
And lead me on
The way you taught. 

Follow the way of love
(1 Corinthians 14:1; NIV).