Category: suffering

8.9.23: Follow and worship (updated today)

Ruth Kirk
Hans: Pixabay

I posted today’s prayer at midnight last night, when it only had seven verses. However, this morning, when I was praying without words, I suddenly received the final couplet, which makes it complete. So that email followers don’t miss this, I’m now posting the final version for their sake.

A thoroughfare will be there – it will be called the Way of Holiness (Isaiah 35:8; NET).

Follow Christ on the way of love:
Worship Him who reigns above.

Learn from Christ on the way of faith:
Worship Him and seek His face.

Talk with Christ on the way of prayer:
Worship Him, our thoroughfare.

Serve with Christ on the way of light:
Worship Him both day and night.

Weep with Christ on the way of pain:
Worship Him who rose again.

Walk with Christ on the way of death:
Worship Him; one final breath

Then rest with Christ when life is past,
And worship Him with joy, at last.

Lord, though I’m on the way of dust,
I’ll worship you with steadfast trust.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you (Isaiah 26:3; NIV).

References 

The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7; KJV).

You were made from dust, and to dust you will return (Genesis 3:19; NLT).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.” “No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:1; NLT).

Those who follow godly paths will rest in peace when they die (Isaiah 57:2; NLT).

11.7.23: Sunlight and rain

Ruth Kirk
fietzfotos: Pixabay.

This prayer came to me at around six’ o’clock in the morning a couple of days ago, after I’d been awake for about two hours:

Give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
(1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).

1. Thank you, my Father,
For sleeping and wakefulness,
Loving and loneliness,
Sunlight and rain.

2. Thank you, my Father,
For pleasure and wretchedness,
Good health and suffering,
Comfort and pain.

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away.
Blessed be the name of the LORD.
(Job 1:21; CSB).

References 

Verse 1
– Everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory (Romans 11:36; NLT).
– Whatever happens to you, accept it (Sirach 2:4; NJB).
– When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other (Ecclesiastes 7:14; NIV).

Verse 2
– I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things (Isaiah 45:7; NIV).
– He wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal (Job: 5:17; NIV).
– I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13; NLT).

5.6.23: Suffering

Ruth Kirk
Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, by
Robert Walter Weir, metmuseum.org.

To my great surprise, this prayer suddenly came to me early last Saturday morning, whilst I was washing my face:

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows (John 16:33; NLT).

Lord,

All our physical and mental sufferings are so much harder to bear when we don’t accept them.

Please teach us to say ‘Yes’ to all you send, and to thank you in all circumstances, knowing that we are always in your hands.

Help us to trust your will, and to endure, for you bring good from everything, including all we think of, Lord, as ‘bad’.

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).

References 

My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done (Matthew 26:42; NLT). 

Whatever happens to you, accept it (Sirach 2:4; NJB).

Be it unto me according to thy word (Luke 1:38; KJV). 

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV). 

Everything comes from him (Romans 11:36; NLT). 

The life of every living thing is in his hand (Job 12:10; NLT). 

Trust him, and he will help you (Psalm 37:5; NLT).

 The LORD gives both death and life (I Samuel 2:6; NLT).

Do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal (Job 5:17; NIV).

Those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction (Job 36:15; NIV).

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

Should we accept only good things from the hand of God, and never anything bad? (Job 2:10; NLT).

Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you (Isaiah 30:20; NLT).

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised (Job 1:21; NIV).

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other (Ecclesiastes 7:14; NIV).

Patient endurance is what you need now (Hebrews 10:36; NLT).

The Rosary Hospital

We have both had a slightly better day than yesterday, so I celebrated by making a Fiat rosary. I love it so much that I’m not sure I can part with it!

26.5.22: Your will

Ruth Kirk
Crown of thorns, courtesy of Pixabay.

One day, recently, soon after beginning to pray, this short poem arrived. I was even able to finish writing it before I had to get up, for which I was very thankful. After breakfast, I sorted out the references. Then it was time to face whatever the day would bring.

Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

Yahweh,
May I say, like Christ:
“I want to do your will, not mine”,
Then I’ll give thanks, whatever comes,
Accepting not my will, but thine.

Yahweh,
May I pray, with Christ:
“I want to do your will, not mine”,
Then I’ll rejoice, whatever comes,
For I will be your living shrine.

God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple (1 Corinthians 3:17; NLT).

References

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV).

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing (Psalm 143:10; NLT).

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21; CSB).

Should we accept only good things from the hand of God, and never anything bad? (Job 2:10; NLT).

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other (Ecclesiastes 7:14; NIV).

14.5.23: I pray for love

Ruth Kirk
Image by Brigitte Werner from Pixabay.

This prayer arrived spontaneously yesterday, whilst I was praying for the world:

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you (John 15:12; NLT).

Love does no harm to a neighbour. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law (Romans 13:10; NIV). 

Lord,

I pray for love
Throughout the world:
In every country, home,
Mind, soul, and heart.

But if we cannot love,
I pray for peace,
So everyone can live,
And play their part.

And if we can’t make peace,
I pray for truth,
Then all our hurtful lies
Will end, at last.

And if we can’t have truth,
I pray for hope,
Until our earthly suffering
Has passed.

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).

References 

This letter is from Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus, appointed by the command of God our Savior and Christ Jesus, who gives us hope (1 Timothy 1:1; NLT). 

We are saved by hope (Romans 8:24; WEB). 

The eyes of all look to you in hope (Psalm 145:15; NLT).

A reading: Romans 8:23-5; NLT.

We believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently).

29.4.23: Honest prayer #2

Ruth Kirk
Briton Rivière – The Temptation in the Wilderness. Wikimedia Commons.

Today’s blog is part two in a series of three short articles discussing the importance of facing and sharing the contents of the shadow-self in honest prayer.

Jesus’ shadow-self

Yesterday’s blog (https://wp.me/p45bCr-dXu), was personal, but today’s will focus on how Jesus faced and expressed his shadow, both with God, and with people. We can have no better example than his.

Temptation (Matthew 4:1-11; NLT)

During the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ forty days in the wilderness, his shadow-self is represented as a being who tempts him to go against his conscience by disobeying God.

These accounts show plainly that even Christ suffered from temptation. Like us, he had to wrestle with, resist, and overcome, his seductive fantasies and impulses. He needed to do this in order to face the huge personal sacrifices his ministry would require of him:

We do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:15; NIV).

Irritation (Luke 9:37-43; NLT)

At times, Jesus became exasperated, both with his followers, and with the Scribes and Pharisees. For example, when his disciples were unable to heal a boy suffering from epilepsy, Jesus became frustrated and irritated. Instead of concealing how he felt, he spoke to them very directly and honestly:

You faithless and corrupt people! How long must I be with you and put up with you? (Luke 9:41; NLT).

Then, having expressed how he felt, he healed the boy, and gave him back to his father.

Anger (John 2:13-17; NLT)

When Jesus saw the established corruption and exploitation taking place in the Temple at Jerusalem he was filled with anger. He purposefully made a whip, using it to drive the merchants and money-changers out of the temple. Chaos resulted as he overturned their stalls, scattered their takings, and chased away their sacrificial animals, whilst crying out:

Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace! (John 2:13-16; NLT). 

Anger, whether righteous or otherwise, is part of everyone’s shadow, however much we might prefer to deny and suppress it.

Grief (John 11:1-45; NLT)

When Jesus heard that his friend was very sick, he delayed visiting him and his sisters. Two days later, knowing that Lazarus had died, he set off to their house. There he experienced the anger and tears which so often characterise human grief. It’s inspiring to see Jesus’ human emotions shared so openly to those around him:

When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled (John 11:33; NLT). 

Then Jesus wept (John 11:36; NLT). 

Fear (Matthew 26:36-46; NLT)

After the Last Supper, Jesus went with his disciples to an olive grove to pray. Overwhelmed by the profound fear rising from his shadow, he could not conceal his anguish. Realising what he was about to undergo, he begged God to take his suffering away.

I find it oddly reassuring to know that even Jesus experienced and expressed dread, longing for it to be taken away. At Gethsemane, as always, his prayers were absolutely direct, unembellished by flowery language, honest, short and to the point:

He became anguished and distressed (Matthew 26:37; NLT).

He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine” (Matthew 26:39; NLT).

He was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood (Luke 22:44; NLT).

Looking ahead

Examining Jesus shadow-side has been a significant challenge for me, but I want to learn from him:

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me (Matthew 11:29; NIV).

Tomorrow I hope to draw some conclusions from this short series on honest prayer.

26.4.23: Suffering is a healing process

Ruth Kirk
Crowds gather as Christ heals the sick. Lithograph after Benjamin West, Wickimedia.

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT). 

Last Sunday, whilst I was praying without words, I saw that my suffering is a lifelong healing process from which I have much to learn.

One step at a time, God helps me to move forward by working through this healing process in response to my symptoms.

My first task is to develop ever deeper insight into the underlying causes of my physical, emotional and spiritual suffering.

My second task is to ask God to give me the faith and personal maturity needed to endure my suffering in emotionally and spiritually healthy ways.

Although this kind of healing is a painful, ongoing, spiritual process, God brings good from it along the way. It will be complete at my death, when I will have gone as far as I can manage.

Meanwhile, I’m also learning to trust that God won’t let me be tried beyond what I can endure, which gives me renewed hope.

No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13; NET).

References

My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken (Jeremiah 8:18; NLT).

There they are, overwhelmed with dread, where there was nothing to dread (Psalm 53:5; NIV).

Your wound is as deep as the sea. Who can heal you? (Lamentations 2:13; NLT).

God willing, we will move forward to further understanding (Hebrews 6:3; NLT).

Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible” (Matthew 19:26; NLT).

I am the LORD who heals you (Exodus 15:26; CSB).

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).

A reading: Romans 5:1-4; ESV.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.

25.4.23: Trust

Ruth Kirk
Image by falco from Pixabay

While I was praying without words last Sunday, I glimpsed this prayer. It was extremely difficult to catch hold of, and to put into words, but I’ve done my best.

O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me (Psalm 139:1; NLT). 

Lord,
You know all about me.
Before a word is on my tongue
You know it completely.

I needn’t even ask you
To heal me, because
You already know how deeply
I long for your touch.

All I need to do
Is to have courage,
Trusting that you have forgiven
All my sins,

That you won’t let me be tried
Beyond what I can endure,
That you will bring good
From all my suffering,

And that you will heal me,
When the time is right.

I am the LORD who heals you (Exodus 15:26; CSB). 

At the right time, I, the LORD, will make it happen (Isaiah 60:22; NLT).

References 

Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).

Then some people appeared, bringing a person who was paralyzed, stretched out on a pallet. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed person, “Courage, my child, your sins are forgiven” (Matthew 9:2; TIB). 

He forgives all my sins (Psalm 103:3; NLT). 

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT). 

No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13; NET). 

9.4.23: Despite my sins

Ruth Kirk

Happy Easter to you all. This prayer came to me yesterday morning. I jotted it down quickly, but it took 24 hours to put into words!

He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT). 

Lord,
Despite my sins and flaws,
Despite my greed and selfishness,
You help me, and forgive,
Because you love me.

Lord,
Despite my fears and griefs,
Despite my pain and suffering,
I trust you and rejoice,
Because I love you.

Lord,
Despite the times I fail,
Despite the many wrongs I’ve done,
We’re joined in spirit, evermore,
As one.

The person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17; NLT).

References 

Trust in God, and trust also in me (John 14:1; NLT).

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows (John 16:33; NLT).

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21; CSB). 

Rejoice always (1 Thessalonians 5:16; NIV)

I love you  (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

He forgives all my sins (Psalm 103:3; NLT).

God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin (1 Corinthians 1:30; NLT). 

10.2.23: A healing dream

Ruth Kirk

The moment I began to pray before my icon of Mary yesterday morning, I saw the overall theme of the dream from which I had just woken. It was truly astonishing, because during this dream, I had liked my mother.

This may not sound very significant, but it was a first for me. During the dream, I wasn’t afraid of her. I was able to compliment her on her appearance, and give her some direct feedback. It was extraordinary to feel comfortable about being around her.

None of these things ever happened during her lifetime because I was afraid of her. I hated being with her, and loathed her touch and the sound of her voice. I took care to avoid her as far as possible.

Over the years I have had many nightmares about my mother – horrible dreams in which I’ve tried to stand up to her and woken up shouting. However, in last night’s dream I actually enjoyed her company.

In real life, I never loved or trusted my mother, but this dream gave me my first ever glimpse of what a much healthier mother/daughter relationship might feel like. So, I’m going to hold on to the mother I spent time with in my dream: a smart, trim, approachable woman in a fitted, green, woollen suit, wearing red lipstick; a woman who willingly contributed to a community event in an official capacity; chatty, relaxed, and able to accept honest feedback.

As I reflected on my dream, it felt strangely healing, as if a lifetime of emotional suffering and mental illness could somehow be redeemed by a single, brief, positive experience.

I thanked God for giving me this dream about what my mother could have become if her own life had been different, for having dreamed about having a good relationship with her, and especially for the brief, precious experience of liking her.