grief – Seeking God's face together

22.3.23: I want to follow Christ

March 22, 2023Ruth Kirk

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Today’s blog came to me soon after waking up:

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).

I want to follow Christ
In every thought,
Through gain and loss
To serve him as I ought,
And always keep on praying,
As he taught –
For he is all to me,
Though I am naught.

I want to follow Christ
In all I say,
Through weakness, sin and failure,
Come what may,
And always keep on thanking him
Each day –
For Jesus is my life, my truth,
My way.

I want to follow Christ
In all I do,
Through grief, and pain and sorrow,
Sickness, too,
By sharing in the suffering
He knew –
For all he preached and promised us
Is true.

All who believe in the Son of God know in their hearts that this testimony is true (1 John 5:10; NLT).

I was born and came into the world to testify to the truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true (John 18:37; NLT).

References

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5; NIV).

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21; CSB).

May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10; NLT).

I am nothing (Job 40:4; NLT).

Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6; NLT).

Since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17; NLT).

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:10; NLT).

The Rosary Hospital

Today I am full of rejoicing, because I’ve been given a steady outlet for my rosaries. Please celebrate this with me!

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6.3.23: My hope

March 6, 2023Ruth Kirk

Life is very demanding at present in terms of medical issues, so I’m posting early today, and sending my very best wishes to every reader:

My hope, Lord, is in you (Psalm 25:21; NIV).

My hope, my faith,
My joy new-born;
My light, my truth,
My sacred thorn.

My pain, my grief,
My gain, my loss;
My love, my life,
My way, my cross.

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6; NLT).

8.2.23: Unite with Christ

February 8, 2023Ruth Kirk

Tonight I’m posting an extra blog, because I have decided to start publishing regularly between 9pm and 11pm each day.

Staying up to publish just after 12am is too tiring for me now, whilst the pressure to post in the mornings can be a stressful distraction during my quiet prayer-time.

Tomorrow evening I will continue to explore the meaning and usefulness of dreams, God willing, but for now, here is tonight’s bonus blog:

You are complete through your union with Christ (Colossians 2:10; NLT).

Unite with Christ, our Lord,
In prayer.
Unite with him
In deep despair.

Unite with Christ,
And let him reign
Within your heart –
He knows your pain.

Unite with Christ, our Lord,
In love.
Unite with him
In bad and good.

Unite with Christ,
Who knows your fear
And grief,
For he is always near.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).

The Rosary Hospital

Earlier this week, someone asked for a “pretty” rosary. I felt I understood what she meant, though I knew how limited my available materials are. So yesterday evening I enjoyed making her rosary, using a combination of wooden African beads and a few, matching ceramic ones for the “Our Fathers”. This rosary has a fairly heavy cross, which balances the extra weight of the ceramic beads. It’s hard to judge exactly how it will look when it’s finished, but I do hope it will qualify as “pretty” in its new owner’s eyes!

12.1.23: Many things in life are hard

January 12, 2023January 12, 2023Ruth Kirk

A few days ago I was thinking about what a struggle it can be just to give to others, though perhaps giving is relatively easy in comparison to many of life’s other challenges. Almost before I knew it, I had to start writing today’s blog:

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).

Many things in life
Are hard, Lord:
Giving, saying sorry,
And forgiving those who hurt us;
Facing fear, enduring failure,
Illness, disability, and grief.

Yet, with prayer and practice,
They get easier to manage,
Till they become
A source of growth,
Of thankfulness –
And even inner peace.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you (John 14:27; NIV).

References

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Matthew 11:28-30; NLT).

We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).

9.1.23: Bad dreams

January 9, 2023Ruth Kirk

Context: Although I don’t feel anxious about my deteriorating health in the daytime, I have bad dreams about it almost every night. A few days ago I woke feeling particularly upset and disturbed by what I had experienced in my dream, and especially by how I’d felt, both physically and mentally.

My training and experience suggest that these dreams are telling me what’s going on in my unconscious mind, and that it might be helpful to talk them over. As I prayed about this, today’s verses came to mind. They arrived so quickly that it was all I could do to scribble them down. Later I was able to spend time reflecting on them, and editing them.

I’m getting old, and sick, Lord,
Let’s face facts –
I’m never going to do again
Some of the things I love.
I’m never going to do
What I’ve not done.

I’m running out of health,
And out of time.
I’m fine with this
When I’m awake,
But dream about it
Almost every night.

And that’s when I experience
My grief,
My weakness, tiredness,
Helplessness and fear;
Depression; getting lost;
Dementia; tears.

Day after day I wake up
In distress.
Today, I recognised
That maybe I need help:
Lord God, I want to talk
About my dreams.

God gave Daniel the special ability to interpret the meanings of visions and dreams (Daniel 1:17; NLT).

God can tell you what it means and set you at ease (Genesis 41:16; NLT).

The Rosary Hospital

Word is slowly getting round about The Rosary Hospital, and I’ve fulfilled another two commissions. Meanwhile, yesterday I finished making a simple five-decade rosary for fun, finding it helpful to experiment freely without having any particular recipient in mind.

4.1.23: When I leave

January 4, 2023Ruth Kirk

This is the last of the four prayers I was given on New Year’s Eve. It brought me a sense of relief and comfort to grasp fully that every kind of physical, mental and emotional suffering comes to an end when we die.

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

Lord,

When I leave my body here,
I’ll also leave my pain,

And when I leave my mind for good,
I’ll leave my burdens, too.

When I leave my heart on earth,
I’ll leave my grief, as well,

But I won’t leave my soul behind,
For it is one with you.

The person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17; NLT).

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever (Revelation 21:4; NLT).

3.1.23: Acceptance

January 3, 2023Ruth Kirk

Today’s prayer is the third of four which all arrived together on New Year’s Eve.

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

This is how I am, Lord,
I accept it.
I want to do your will,
And not my own.

I want to follow you, Lord,
So I humbly bear my cross;
Like you, I offer thanks
For grief and pain.

This is how I am, Lord,
I embrace it.
I want to do your will,
And to endure.

I want to be like you, Lord,
So I’m walking in your steps:
Like you, I must face death
To rise again.

Those who die in the LORD will live; their bodies will rise again! (Isaiah 26:19; NLT).

28.12.22: Come, Jesus

December 28, 2022Ruth Kirk

Context: This prayer arrived on Christmas Day, and took two more days to write. Maybe I’m slowing down in my old age…

He who is the faithful witness to all these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon!” Amen! Come, Lord Jesus! (Revelation 22:20; NLT).

Come, Jesus, come –
Be born again in me,
And I in you.

I’ll do my best
To share your cross,
Your love for others, too.

The way is long,
The path is hard –
My efforts seem in vain,

But, Lord, despite
My fruitlessness, I long
To serve your name.

For you’re my Saviour
And my King,
My genesis and goal,

So come, Lord, come –
I offer you my heart, mind, strength
And soul.

You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength (Mark 12:30; NLT).

References

I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God (John 3:3; NLT).

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).

The gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it (Matthew 7:14; NLT).

The Rosary Hospital

To my great pleasure, the rosaries posted before Christmas are gradually reaching their destinations, despite the postal strikes and challenging weather conditions.

Meanwhile, I remade my Fiat rosary with the inadequate knot. It came out much better the third time, so I have no regrets about starting again – it’s all good practice.

One exciting development (from a purely personal point of view), is that over the last few days I’ve become more confident about the strength of my joining knots, so I’ve stopped reinforcing them with superglue. It’s taken quite a while to reach this stage, but I’m pleased to be getting there. Purists don’t use glue when making rosaries – perhaps mine could be held together with faith!

If you would like more rosary news, or if you have any broken rosaries to donate, you are very welcome to contact me at “The Rosary Hospital”, on Facebook.

Lastly, here is the Fiat rosary I made today:

25.12.22: Christmas Day

December 25, 2022December 25, 2022Ruth Kirk

Context: God often gives me a special prayer well in advance, ready to post on Christmas Day, but this year it didn’t happen. In fact, I had begun to think there would be no Christmas prayer at all this year. To begin with, I felt I should be able to write something appropriate, but I knew I couldn’t do this without inspiration, so eventually I placed the matter in God’s hands, and let it go.

Then, on the 21st of December, I received a long Christmas prayer, which was very difficult to put into words, to condense, and to edit. Eventually it took the form of a spoken exchange. The first section pictures Christ speaking to us, whilst the second pictures us responding to him.

✝️ She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them (Luke 2:7; NLT).

I was born in the shadow of want,
And lived in the shadow of fear.

I worked in the shadow of hate,
But knew that my Father was near.

I wept in the shadow of grief,
And prayed in the shadow of pain.

I walked in the shadow of death,
Then rose, to save all, and to reign.

The world has now become the Kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ, and he will reign forever and ever (Revelation 11:15; NLT).

✝️ We all have sinned against you (Jeremiah 14:20; NLT).

Though we dwell in the shadow of sin,
And grieve in the shadow of loss,

We pray, and give thanks, and rejoice,
For we follow your way of the cross.

Though we walk in the shadow of death,
We trust in your staff and your rod.

Lord, you are here, in earth’s darkness,
So we sing in the shadow of God.

Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 63:7; NLT).

Christmas greetings:

My very best wishes to every reader who visits this website. May God bless you. I pray for you all every day.

✝️ With love, and many thanks for your support, from Ruth xxxxxxx