Category: illness

Redemptive suffering: a personal perspective

Ruth Kirk

You have been given the privilege of serving Christ, not only by believing in him, but also by suffering for him (Philippians 1:29; GNT).  

Introduction
In common with many other people, I have experienced physical, mental and spiritual suffering over the course of my life. I also live with chronic illness every day.

My response to suffering has changed considerably over the years. Thus, I slowly moved from very negative attitudes, such as fear, self-pity and depression, through resignation, to a more comfortable acceptance.

Then, after being diagnosed with breast cancer six years ago, I discovered and adopted the practice of giving thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18). At the time, I didn’t realise what a key step this would be in the process of developing a more positive attitude to suffering.

More recently, just a few weeks ago, I stumbled on the idea of using my symptoms as cues which would remind me to intercede for others. This practice has already begun to give a new purpose and value to the suffering which is a daily feature of my life.

Soon afterwards, I discovered the term redemptive suffering, and realised, to my surprise and pleasure, that I am not alone on this path.

Redemptive suffering
My current, very limited, understanding of redemptive suffering is that it means:

  1. Willingly accepting and embracing uncomfortable symptoms.
  2. Giving thanks for them.
  3. Offering them as a sacrifice on behalf of others who are suffering.
  4. Praying for other people who are suffering.

It will be interesting to see how this definition changes in the light of further personal experience and insight.

Christ’s life and death are the perfect example of redemptive suffering in operation. Even as he hung on the cross, Jesus was praying for his executioners: “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34; NLT). 

The privilege of suffering for Christ
St. Paul grasped that if we are to share Christ’s glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17). This led him to the astonishing realisation that we, too, can offer our suffering on behalf of others, just as Jesus did. As he states: “You have been given the privilege of serving Christ, not only by believing in him, but also by suffering for him” (Philippians 1:29; GNT).

With self-awareness, willing acceptance and frequent practice, every adverse symptom, sensation, emotion and experience can become a sacrificial offering to God. Our suffering then functions as a series of cues, or reminders, to intercede for others.

Our prayers can be for people we know personally, those we hear or read about, and for everyone experiencing physical and mental illness, pain, privation, danger and death all around the world.

Conclusion
I believe that we can grow more like Christ, and become more deeply united with him, by welcoming the suffering God sends, and using it for the good of others. Redemptive suffering is, indeed, a privilege. Furthermore, my experience is that it can bring a sense of purpose, joy and fulfilment even though my life is very limited by suffering.

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them (1 Timothy 2:1; NLT).

References

Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV). 

Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies (Hebrews 13:3; NLT).

Since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too (1 Peter 4:1; NLT).

Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you (Isaiah 30:20; NLT).

The Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image (2 Corinthians 3:18; NLT). 

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT). 

I’m not asking

Ruth Kirk

The Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words…

Spirit,
I’m not asking you
To teach me how to pray:
Instead, please pray on my behalf
For all those who are ill.

Spirit,
I’m not asking you
To tell me what to say:
Instead, please intercede for them
According to God’s will.

…And He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because the Spirit intercedes [before God] on behalf of God’s people in accordance with God’s will (Romans 8:26-7; AMP).

References 

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them (1 Timothy 2:1; NLT). 

He knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust (Psalm 103:14; NLT). 

May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10; NLT).

If you have faith when you pray for sick people, they will get well. The Lord will heal them, and if they have sinned, he will forgive them (James 5:15; CEV). 

My example

Ruth Kirk

Today I had my most-feared medical procedure, about which I was very anxious. However, the specialist was so understanding, kind, slow and gentle that I got through it without shouting, screaming, panicking, or running away.

The prayer below was given to me when I woke this morning at around 6am. It helped me a lot, so I would like to share it with you all.

With love from Ruth xxxxx

Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done” (Matthew 26:42; NLT). 

Lord,
You’re my example
As I face
My deepest fear.

You are very close
Beside me:
Thank you, Lord,
For being here.

May your rod and staff
Protect me:
Lord, I put my trust
In you.

Jesus,
As I face this test:
Renew my strength,
And guide me through.

He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me (Psalm 23:3-4; NLT).

References

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT). 

He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and he became anguished and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death” (Matthew 26:37-8; NLT).

Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me (John 14:1; NLT).

The LORD your God is testing you to see if you truly love him with all your heart and soul (Deuteronomy 13:3; NLT). 

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you (Psalm 56:3; NIV).

7.11.23: A love-letter

Ruth Kirk

This prayer came to me in the middle of the night, when I looked out of my bedroom window. I couldn’t sleep, because the day before we had made an offer for a small, wheelchair-accessible bungalow in a nearby town.

Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21; CSB). 

My beloved Father,

As long as I have this beautiful view from my room, I feel I can cope with whatever life brings. Yet I will lose it soon, for we must move.

As long as I can write, and post prayers on my website, I feel my life has a purpose. But I already know that one day, at a time of your choosing, you will stop giving me any more prayers.

As long as I have my much-loved icons around me, I feel I can face whatever losses and suffering you send. However, even these icons will have to be left behind one day. Then, no matter what comes, I must go on without their help.

As long as I can pray, I feel that my life is worth living, because I can experience your presence, no matter what I have to endure. Nevertheless, I realise that I won’t necessarily always be able to pray.

Lord, as I grow older, more unwell, forgetful and disabled, my life is slowly reducing to the absolute essentials of faith, hope, and love. These I will consciously cling to for as long as I possibly can. Yet even when I can cling no longer, whatever happens, I know that nothing can ever separate me from your love, because:

From the beginning, long before my life began, for as long as it continues, and eternally, beyond my death, I am part of you, my God, and I am one with you.

Thank you, beloved Lord, that nothing can ever take this truth away.

For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-9; NLT).

References…

The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7; KJV).

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5; NLT).

There is in humans a Spirit, the breath of the Almighty, that gives them understanding (Job 32:8; GWT).

Then he [Jesus] breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit” (John 20:22; NLT).

The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you (Romans 8:11; NLT). 

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

…and further references 

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! (Habakkuk 3:17-18; NLT).

I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don’t want to go (John 21:18; NLT).

Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT). 

I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely (Psalm 63:8; NLT).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT). 

Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him (Job 13:15; KJV).

14.10.23: Infirmity

Ruth Kirk
Using my powered wheelchair for the first time.

I said, This is my infirmity (Psalm 77:10; KJV).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

This is my infirmity –
Your will; the path
You’re giving me;
The way, Lord God,
You set me free
To love you.

This is my vocation, Lord –
Your wisdom and desire
Outpoured;
My cross, salvation,
And reward:
To serve you.

Serve only him (Luke 4:8; NLT).

References

O love the LORD (Psalm 31:23; KJV).

Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad? (Job 2:10; NLT).

We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).

2.7.23: Weak and sick (for B.)

Ruth Kirk
ArsAdAstra: Pixabay.

This prayer rose gently from a beautiful time of bright, wordless prayer. Writing it made me smile, because it arrived backwards, which rarely happens to me.

He knows how weak we are.
(Psalm 103:13; NLT). 

1. Lord,
You know
How weak and sick I am:
I cling to you so tight
That we are one;

2. Help me to serve you well
Each day;
Forgive my every failing, lapse,
And wrong.

3. Lord,
Though I’m nothing,
I rejoice,
Because to you, forever,
I belong;

4. You are my Maker
And my end:
So, though I’m weak and sick, Lord,
I am strong.

He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10; NKJV).

References 

Verse 1: I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely (Psalm 63:8; NLT).

Verse 2: Serve him and hold fast to him (Deuteronomy 13:4; NIV).

He forgives all my sins (Psalm 103:3; NLT).

Verse 3: I am nothing  (Job 40:4; NLT). 

Rejoice always (1 Thessalonians 5:16; NIV).

You and I both belong to God (Job 33:6; NLT).

Verse 4: You are our maker; and we are all the work of your hand (Isaiah 64:8; BBE).

“I am the Alpha and the Omega – the beginning and the end,” says the Lord God. “I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come – the Almighty One” (Revelation 1:8; NLT). 

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

5.6.23: Suffering

Ruth Kirk
Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, by
Robert Walter Weir, metmuseum.org.

To my great surprise, this prayer suddenly came to me early last Saturday morning, whilst I was washing my face:

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows (John 16:33; NLT).

Lord,

All our physical and mental sufferings are so much harder to bear when we don’t accept them.

Please teach us to say ‘Yes’ to all you send, and to thank you in all circumstances, knowing that we are always in your hands.

Help us to trust your will, and to endure, for you bring good from everything, including all we think of, Lord, as ‘bad’.

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).

References 

My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done (Matthew 26:42; NLT). 

Whatever happens to you, accept it (Sirach 2:4; NJB).

Be it unto me according to thy word (Luke 1:38; KJV). 

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV). 

Everything comes from him (Romans 11:36; NLT). 

The life of every living thing is in his hand (Job 12:10; NLT). 

Trust him, and he will help you (Psalm 37:5; NLT).

 The LORD gives both death and life (I Samuel 2:6; NLT).

Do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal (Job 5:17; NIV).

Those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction (Job 36:15; NIV).

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

Should we accept only good things from the hand of God, and never anything bad? (Job 2:10; NLT).

Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you (Isaiah 30:20; NLT).

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised (Job 1:21; NIV).

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other (Ecclesiastes 7:14; NIV).

Patient endurance is what you need now (Hebrews 10:36; NLT).

The Rosary Hospital

We have both had a slightly better day than yesterday, so I celebrated by making a Fiat rosary. I love it so much that I’m not sure I can part with it!

18.2.23: Illness

Ruth Kirk

It’s been a rather eventful few days. Last week I found a lump on my sternum, so I arranged to see a doctor on Monday. He also found a swollen lymph node in the armpit on my mastectomy side. These symptoms need to be checked out, so I had a chest X-ray on Tuesday, and now have an appointment at the Breast Clinic for next Monday.

Then, on Tuesday, after a whole year of medical tests, I separately received a diagnosis of Autonomic Neuropathy, which is complicated by having a very slow heartbeat. I’ll be trying a drug treatment first, but if it doesn’t help, or proves intolerable, I’ll need to have a pacemaker fitted. 

I’ve already said, “Yes”, to God, and given thanks for all these things. Next week I will hopefully be able to report back on what happens at the clinic.

Meanwhile, here is a prayer which came to me in the night after receiving my diagnosis:

If the Son sets you free, you are truly free (John 8:36; NLT). 

Lord,

Though I am ill,
I’m truly free:

Free to love you,
Just as you love me;

Free to bear my cross,
And follow you:

Lord, there’s nothing else
I’d rather do.

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him (Philippians 3:8-9; NLT).

References 

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT). 

Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; NIV). 

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT). 

12.2.23: Attitude

Ruth Kirk

What a difference our attitude makes to how we respond to all God sends. As Saint Paul says: “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (Philippians 2:5; NLT).

Last night I dreamed I was very ill. It was clear that I was dying, and that this was beyond my control, and beyond any possibility of medical intervention.

In my dream, I was aware that my attitude to death would make a huge difference to how I experienced it. I could accept what was happening, facing it willingly and putting my trust in God. Alternatively, I could resent it, get angry, and feel bitter, or afraid, even blaming God. However, no matter how I approached it, death was still inevitable.

It was a very vivid dream, and I laid awake for a long time afterwards. Eventually I gave up hoping to go back to sleep, so I sat up in bed with a hot drink, and began to pray. To my surprise, as soon as I had said the Lord’s Prayer, today’s blog began to arrive:

In his anguish he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground (Luke 22:44; NET).

I’m hot. I’m cold.
I’m restless. I can’t sleep.

Into my mind, Lord,
Doubts and questions creep:

Can I face all that’s coming
Without fear?

Yahweh, I know I can’t,
But you are here

To help me bear
Whatever you may send:

My Lord, my God,
My Comforter, and Friend.

Now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God (Romans 5:11; NLT).

References

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21; CSB). 

The LORD gives both death and life (I Samuel 2:6; NLT). 

He …became anguished and distressed (Matthew 26:37; NET).

Look – the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners (Matthew 26:45; NLT).

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Mark 14:36; NLT).

He shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever (John 14:16; KJV).

9.2.23: Dream themes

Ruth Kirk

Recently, I’ve been exploring my dreams in a new way – an approach which shows me the unresolved emotional issues hidden away in my unconscious mind.

Following what I learned a few days ago (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-dph), the next night I began noting down the overall theme, or essence, of each dream. I did this every time I woke, whilst my memories were still fresh.

By the time I was fully awake next morning, I had a list of all the emotions which had surfaced from my unconscious mind into my dreams that night. For the first time ever, I could consciously connect with them, pray about them, and work with them. 

It’s very early days, but the major themes and emotional states I’ve identified so far are: insecurity, anger, losing my temper, lack of confidence, failure and illness.

Having embarked on this inner journey, I have faith that I’ll keep on learning, although it’s impossible to predict what will be revealed next, which is very exciting.

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT). 

The Rosary Hospital 

Having completed the “pretty” rosary I started yesterday, here is a photo of it. I’m hoping to deliver it tomorrow, or on Saturday: