Introduction
Some years ago, when my emotionally-abusive mother died, I was extremely relieved to know she was no longer here, on earth.
However, since then I have often wondered uneasily whether I might have to see her again in heaven. If so, what will I do if she continues to relate to me as she did in life? What if I need to confront her, yet again, about her behaviour? What if she continues to deny, minimise, and dismiss the damage she inflicted on me, just as she did when she was alive?
These thoughts readily re-trigger my anxiety and dread. They make me fear I will never truly escape her power to wound, and even to destroy me.
Heaven: forgiveness and healing
This issue began to change recently, when I saw that in heaven there will be no danger whatsoever of having to confront my mother, for this task belongs to God alone (Zephaniah 3:19; NRSV).
It will be up to God to hear her confession, witness and accept her repentance, and forgive all her sins. I will never know what passes between them, nor is it my concern. Moreover, my mother had damaging experiences of her own, so God will also heal her wounds completely.
In just the same way, my own sins, like those of everyone else, will be forgiven, and all suffering, including that caused by other people, will be healed.
Oneness
When our sin and suffering have been removed, only the innate goodness and perfect wholeness of our souls will remain, for our souls will still be part of God, just as they always have been (Genesis 2:7; KJV).
In heaven, we will at last be fully re-united with God and with each other forever, far beyond time and space (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).
Perhaps we will no longer even be recognisable as the embodied, gendered individuals we were during life, because we shall all be changed (1 Corinthians 15:51; NKJV). Jesus said that we will be like the angels in heaven (Mark 12:25; NIV), whilst John said we will be like Christ (1 John 3:2; NIV).
Conclusion
So, in heaven there will no longer be “abuser” and “victim”, no “others” or “self”. Once we are forgiven and healed, these distinctions will disappear. We will all be one, all like Christ, and all united in God. Our histories, their consequences, and our emotions about them, will pass into nothingness. Everyone will be forgiven, and everyone will be healed. Past events will be viewed very differently, left behind at last, or perhaps mercifully erased.
There is therefore no need to dread having to meet, or confront, our abusers after death. Isaiah offers us a vision of what heaven will be like:
“The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them. The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox. The infant will play near the cobra’s den, and the young child will put its hand into the viper’s nest. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain” (Isaiah 11:9; NIV).
Amen. God is good! Thank you, Lord!