Little Ruth


My generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) is very bad. It’s been like this ever since it was thoroughly re-triggered a few months ago when a stranger criticised me online. When I was praying yesterday, this blog came into my mind and heart. It shares how I am now learning to talk to my emotionally abused and damaged inner child.

This part of me was formed by how I was spoken to, screamed at, and treated in my family of origin. My aim is become as gentle, kind, supportive, patient, and loving to my inner child as Jesus was to the children brought to him.

This kind of prayerful reflection is often called “inner child work”, and involves imagining how we can gently care for the younger, perhaps wounded, parts of ourselves.


One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him. When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children …

Little Ruth, you are very small and vulnerable, but I am 73 and have had lots of experience of life. Even if you never feel any less anxious and depressed than you do at present, I will still be here all the time to take care of you. What is more, I share this task with Jesus, who looks after us both.

I am here to help you with all your physical and emotional needs by:

  • Setting boundaries and limits with other people.
  • Saying no when necessary.
  • Providing warmth, food, water, clothing, shelter, play, rest, sleep, and social contact.
  • Protecting you.
  • Reassuring you.
  • Comforting you.
  • Supporting you while you face your fears.
  • Encouraging you to explore, learn, and grow.
  • Enabling you to reach your full potential.
  • Listening to you.
  • Seeing you.
  • Knowing you.
  • Understanding you.
  • Sharing your experiences and emotions without being overwhelmed by them, so you can come to understand them safely, including anxiety, depression, fear, dread, and panic.
  • Praising you.
  • Loving you.

… I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them (Mark 10:13-16; NLT).

As I write to Little Ruth, perhaps you can also picture the younger, more vulnerable part of yourself – the one who learned to be anxious, afraid, or on guard, so early in life. You might like to imagine Jesus welcoming that child, just as he welcomed the children brought to him, then gently joining him in offering them warmth, safety and love.

If you wish, you could even write your own letter, promising to stay with that child in their fear, and to speak to them with the kindness and patience you may never have received.

My prayer is that as we learn to care for these small, wounded, frightened parts of ourselves with Jesus, we will discover a little more of the tenderness of God’s Kingdom, which belongs to such as these.

Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the LORD delivers them in times of trouble (Psalm 41:1; NIV).

The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-3; NLT).


My offering


Today’s prayer comes from a place of a really bad patch of migraines, anxiety, sadness and long‑standing wounds. As I offer my scars and fears to Jesus, I pray it may help you bring your own pain to him as well.


Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6; NLT).

I offer my past –
It’s an angry scar –
To you: my way,
And my guiding star.

I offer the dread
Of my darkest night –
To you: my truth,
And my shining light.

I offer my cross,
And my bitter pain –
To you: the Christ,
Who rose again.

I offer my thoughts,
My heart, and soul –
To you: my Lord,
My life, and my goal.

“My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed (John 20:28; NLT).

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14; NIV).


New church


This prayer came to me today at 6am, as I prepared to try a new church, with the (probably forlorn), hope of being welcome there, and perhaps even fitting in. Hope springs eternal! I am struggling – please pray for me, just as I pray for all of you each day.


Love the stranger (Deuteronomy 10:19; NKJV).

Will I be seen, Lord?
Will I be heard?
Will I be welcome,
Or will I be judged?

Will I be wanted?
Will I be sad?
Will I be lonely,
Or will I be loved?

Show love to foreigners (Deuteronomy 10:19; NLT).

Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31; NLT).


Here, in stillness


Be still in the presence of the LORD (Psalm 37:7; NLT).

Here, in stillness,
Here, in silence,
Here, in darkness –
You are light. 

Here, in splendour,
Here, in rapture,
Here, in oneness –
You are truth.

Here, in trouble,
Here, in failure,
Here, in ruin –
You are peace.

Here, in sorrow,
Here, in longing,
Here, in anguish –
You are love.

God is love (1 John 4:16; NLT).


References

God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT).

The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).


No home


Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life (John 6:68; NIV).

Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them (John 4:23; NIV).

Lord,
I have no home
But you;
No congregation
Kind and true;
No parents,
And no resting-place;
No refuge here
Except your grace.

Lord,
I have no goal
But you;
No hope that drugs
Can make me new;
No fellows,
Nowhere to belong;
I am so weak
But you are strong.

Lord,
I have no way
But you;
My Shepherd, friend,
And teacher, too;
My source, my birth,
My soul, my breath:
You are my God
In life and death.

“My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed (John 20:28; NLT).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).


References

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7; KJV).

He himself gives life and breath to everything (Acts 17:25; NLT).

Look now; I myself am he! There is no other god but me! I am the one who kills and gives life; I am the one who wounds and heals; no one can be rescued from my powerful hand! (Deuteronomy 32:39; NLT).


Patient endurance


We are all fragile, fallible, and mortal. Today, in prayer, I saw clearly that the purpose of life is to face its inevitable challenges, sorrows, and sufferings, learning to accept and endure them as patiently as we can, while still loving and serving Jesus in others. This was Christ’s mission, and it is ours as well, for Jesus is resurrected in us all.

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23; NLT).

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me (Matthew 25:40; NIV).


So here is today’s prayer:

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5; NLT).

You make us,
You see us,
And hear us.

You know us,
You guide us,
And help us.

You feed us,
You love us,
And hold us.

You wound us,
You teach us,
And heal us.

Look now; I myself am he! There is no other god but me! I am the one who kills and gives life; I am the one who wounds and heals; no one can be rescued from my powerful hand! (Deuteronomy 32:39; NLT).


References

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33; NLT).

Though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself any more, but your eyes shall see your Teacher (Isaiah 30:20; RSV).

May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ (2 Thessalonians 3:5; NLT).

Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised (Hebrews 10:36; NLT).

Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin? (Romans 2:4; NLT).


You are my journey


He told them to take nothing for their journey except a walking stick – no food, no traveler’s bag, no money (Mark 6:8; NLT).

You are my journey,
My staff, and my rod.

You are my water,
My bread, and my wine.

You are my Shepherd,
My Lord, and my God.

You are my shelter,
My root, and my vine.

You are my teacher,
My truth, and my light.

You are my healer,
My peace, and my soul.

You are my Saviour,
My love, and my life.

You are my way, and my strength,
And my goal.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14; NIV).


For the journey


He told them to take nothing for their journey except a walking stick – no food, no traveler’s bag, no money (Mark 6:8; NLT).

May your shadow
Be my guide
And my companion;
Your body
Be my bread, Lord,
And my wine.

May your friendship
Be my well
And my refreshment;
Your teaching
Be my root, Lord,
And my vine.

May your living
Be my light
And my example;
Your dying
Be my way, Lord,
And my end.

May your Maker
Be my truth,
And my fulfilment;
Your Holy Ghost
My peace, Lord,
And my friend.

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground (Psalm 143:10; NIV).


Love and oneness


He loves us with unfailing love (Psalm 117:2; NLT).

I love you, Lord (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

You love me,
And I love you –
Thank you that
We’re one, not two.

I love you,
And you love me –
Jesus, you have
Set me free.

One in body,
Heart and mind –
Our shared aim
Is being kind.

One in spirit
And in soul –
Loving you, Lord,
Makes me whole.

Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour (Matthew 9:22, KJV).

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).


References

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine (Song of Solomon 6:3

My beloved is mine and I am his (Song of Solomon 2:16, NIV).

Be kind to everyone (2 Timothy 2:24, NIV).

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! (Philippians 3:8-11, NLT).


Sitting alone


When you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private (Matthew 6:6; NLT).

The LORD is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it! (Genesis 26:16; NLT).

I sit all alone –
Without a word;

Bask in your light –
And this is prayer;

Speak if I must –
You listen, Lord,

Then rest in the dark –
For you are there.

Moses went into the darkness where God was (Exodus 20:21; BES).

Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light (Micah 7:8; NLT).

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).


References

Be silent before the LORD, all humanity (Zechariah 2:13; NLT).

Be still in the presence of the LORD (Psalm 37:7; NLT).

We are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him (1 John 5:14; NLT).

God has told his people, “Here is a place of rest; let the weary rest here. This is a place of quiet rest” (Isaiah 28:12; NLT).