Category: Hope

No sun

Ruth Kirk

There is no sun;
There’s only rain.
There is no proof:
There’s only faith.

There is no peace;
There’s only pain.
There is no proof:
There’s only hope.

There is no joy;
There’s only dread.
There is no proof:
There’s only love.

There is no cure;
There’s only grief.
There is no proof –
There’s only God.

There is…one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:4,6; NLT).

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End (Revelation 22:13; NLT).

References

Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT).

Anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love (1 John 4:8; NLT).

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).

Reading: Revelation 22:3-7; NLT.

The door to prayer

Ruth Kirk

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened (Matthew 7:7-8; NIV).

Some days, when I awake, my God,
I open wide the door to prayer,
Slipping inside
To sit beside your fire.

Some days, when I awake, my God,
I knock upon the door to prayer,
Waiting with faith and hope
To see your face.

Some days, when I awake, my God,
I hammer on the door to prayer,
Pleading without response:
You are not there!

Some days, when I awake, my God,
There is no door, no prayer, no faith,
No hope.   Yet all’s not lost:
For you are here.

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? (Psalm 22:1; NLT). 

The LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it (Genesis 28:16; NIV).

In all their suffering he also suffered (Isaiah 63:9; NLT). 

References

We are the temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:16; NIV).

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? (1 Corinthians 6:19; NLT).

Search for your light

Ruth Kirk

In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it (John 1:1-5; NLT).

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12; NLT).

Search for your light
In the heart of the gospel,
Discovering hope
In the heart of God’s Word.

Search for your faith
In the heart of the gospel,
Discovering peace
In the heart of the Lord.

Search for your strength
In the heart of the gospel,
Discovering joy
In the heart of God’s Word.

Search for your life
In the heart of the gospel,
Discovering love
In the heart of the Lord.

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6; NLT).

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).

References

We proclaim to you the one who existed from the beginning, whom we have heard and seen. We saw him with our own eyes and touched him with our own hands. He is the Word of life (1 John 1:1; NLT).

I have put my hope in your word (Psalm 119:74; NLT).

The LORD is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).

God’s word lives in your hearts ( 1 John 2:14; NLT).

No one has ever seen God. But the unique One, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart. He has revealed God to us (John 1:18; NLT).

This one who is life itself was revealed to us, and we have seen him. And now we testify and proclaim to you that he is the one who is eternal life. He was with the Father, and then he was revealed to us (1 John 1:2; NLT).

Take captive every thought

Ruth Kirk

Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5; NIV).

How my mind works
On 29.1.26. I was able to grasp how my mind works for the first time. Today’s blog describes what I learned.

Introduction
I automatically check all my thoughts, everything I am about to say, and everything I want to do, however trivial, to see whether they are within the rules of what is acceptable to whoever I am with. If I judge they are not acceptable, I suppress them immediately. My default approach is to stop myself from saying or doing whatever I want to, in case it breaches a social rule I do not know. I self-inhibit in this way hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times every day. Only very recently, since I started thinking about Autism, have I become aware of this inner process and started to understand its purpose and consequences a bit more. I realise now that it is a form of self-censorship, whose purpose is self-protection.

Unspoken rules
If, even for a moment, I forget to filter everything I want to say and do, it’s always disastrous. I spontaneously say or do something which shocks others, and has clearly broken a social rule I have not grasped. This is always very embarrassing and awkward socially, both with individuals, and within groups. It leaves me feeling stupid, ashamed, guilty and a complete failure.

Consequences
Such events trigger my automatic dread reflex instantly, and, with a sinking heart, I know that this dread will be with me day and night for months. In fact, I will never fully recover from it. Another relationship which may have offered a little hope, or at least some brief social contact, has been permanently destroyed.

This constant checking and the suppression of every impulse helps to prevent me from breaking unspoken social rules, so I can feel relatively acceptable to others. Unfortunately, as it is entirely habitual, I do it even when I am alone.

Rumination
After each such event I ruminate endlessly about what happened, feeling terrible about what I said or did. The mishap brings an end to any hope of being at all acceptable to the person concerned. It means the permanent loss of our relationship as it was before.

When this happens in a group setting, it spells the immediate end of my efforts to belong to the group in which it occurred, because I will avoid the person concerned as much as possible from that point onwards. I will dread even bumping into them in the street. If the disaster happens in a church setting, I will not be able to go to that church any more, which is a major, personal loss. Everything I had painstaking tried to build up there is over in a moment.

The aftermath
Afterwards, as soon as I can, I write to the person concerned, taking full responsibility for what happened, and apologising wholeheartedly. However, I can never face them again with any degree of confidence at all. Having seriously misjudged what was acceptable to them, nothing can ever make the relationship right again.

After apologising, I live with my rumination and dread for as many weeks as I can, feeling horribly anxious, sleeping badly, and getting more and more depressed. Eventually, there is no choice but to return to my therapist to work through all that went wrong, in the hope of somehow setting myself free from the emotional torment. This makes every social blunder very expensive, both emotionally and financially.

Today I am facing the start of my Autism assessment process.

If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:36; NIV).

A reading from Luke 4:16-21; NIV.
When he came to the village of Nazareth, his boyhood home, he went as usual to the synagogue on the Sabbath and stood up to read the Scriptures. The scroll of Isaiah the prophet was handed to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where this was written: “The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the LORD’s favor has come.” He rolled up the scroll, handed it back to the attendant, and sat down. All eyes in the synagogue looked at him intently. Then he began to speak to them. “The Scripture you’ve just heard has been fulfilled this very day!”

Being a person

Ruth Kirk

Suddenly their eyes were opened and they recognized him (Luke 24:31; NLT).

Introduction
I have always experienced being a person as a very difficult and lonely task. With a mixture of envy and admiration, I have observed the lives of those who seem to navigate events, both good and bad, without having to think about who they are, or how to behave towards others.

One of the coping techniques I have used throughout my life has been to join spiritual groups, one at a time, whose customs and beliefs I felt I could accept and make my own. When other people do this, they seem to experience a sense of ‘belonging’ – of being accepted, and of being part of something larger than themselves. However, this has proved impossible for me.

Spiritual groups
Spiritual growth is my core concern, so over the years I have tried to live according to the approaches modelled by various spiritual teachers, priests, and groups. Sadly, though, I have never been able to make myself fit into any such groups for longer than a few years.

Conforming
This is because membership of a group requires major continuous, conscious efforts, as I strive to conform to its rules and beliefs.

Inevitably, in the end I make an unintentional, yet fatal, mistake, and am rejected.

Alternatively, a group’s views or requirements can become so unacceptable to me that eventually I am no longer willing to make the personal sacrifices needed in order to fit in.

An example of this happened some years ago, when I adopted Saint Mother Theresa’s teaching on humility. This gave a clear structure to my spiritual life, though I was never completely comfortable with her advice. Her way required the constant, conscious, highly-disciplined suppression of all my spontaneous thoughts, opinions beliefs, emotions, needs, impulses and desires. In the end, I simply had to reject it. The price of trying to belong was higher than I was willing or able to pay.

Leaving and loss
Each time I realised I could no longer force myself to fit into a group, I left. Each, in turn, had become my major source of spiritual structure and social contact, so leaving was always a great personal loss. This rendered my life empty of meaning and social contact for months, or even years, afterwards.

Repeatedly having to give up both the way I life I had been trying to follow, and the relationships associated with it, has been a depressingly recurrent patten in my life. Each time this has happened, it has felt like yet another major personal failure on my part. Groups which had seemed to offer fresh hope when I joined, eventually became yet another door closed to me when I disengaged. As I have got older, the growing number of closed doors has left me with very little hope that I can ever truly belong anywhere at all.

Christ’s way
However, I have recently recognised that the only way of life I want to follow is that of Jesus, as described in the gospels. I do not want his teaching to be interpreted for me by others.

Similarly, I don’t need his example to be made into a set of pre-determined rules designed by an authority-figure, theologian or other ‘expert’ for me to follow. God is my authority, and my learning comes from this source alone, in prayer. As John Newton wrote: There is no effectual teacher but God. We can receive no more than he is pleased to communicate (John Newton, “Out of the depths”). 

A journey of discovery
Now, at last, I feel ready to start discovering for myself who I am, how I feel, what I think and believe, what I need and desire, and what I want to do. In this way, I hope to begin basing my life on the precious individual, inner factors which make me uniquely me.

This is a completely new way of being a person for me. No one else can do it for me, and I have an awful lot to learn, so it’s definitely time to make a start at this late stage in my life.

Conclusion
I have lived and tried to ‘belong’ by consciously suppressing my own spontaneous thoughts, feelings, beliefs, needs, impulses and desires all the time. I now realise that these precious inner factors are what make me me.

Let’s finish with a prayer:

Lord Jesus, please set me free to become myself at last, so I can start growing more like you. I ask this through your own dear name: Amen.

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so that you may know that I am the LORD (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).

References

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6; NLT).

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free (John 8:32; NLT).

I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you (John 13:15; NLT).

The heart of the gospel is love

Ruth Kirk

What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation (Galatians 6:15; NLT).

Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfils the requirements of God’s law (Romans 13:10; NLT).

Introduction
Recently my website, my writing, and my faith were viciously attacked by a man who presented himself as a Christian theologian.

Since then, I have thought a great deal about what being a Christian is all about. This has meant reflecting on what it means to follow Jesus by living according to his teaching and example. I have even launched a new website as a quiet space to share these meditations: theheartofthegospel.org.

Today’s blog brings together everything I have learned so far.

The heart of the gospel
I believe Jesus came to teach us that the heart of the gospel is love. Here is a summary of his teaching about love:

  • Despite our lack of faith, and our appalling behaviour towards others, God loves us all unfailingly (Psalm 117:2; NLT).
  • God longs to be gracious to us, but must wait for us to make our own free choice about committing to the Christian way of life (Isaiah 30:18; NLT).
  • Our lives change for the better when we love God, and love others as ourselves (Mark 12:29-31; NLT).

Let’s look at this teaching in greater detail, using a parable to help us.

Jesus and the expert in religious law
One day an expert in Jewish religious law tested Jesus by asking him perhaps the most significant question ever raised: Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life? (Luke 10:25; NLT).

Jesus replied that the way to inherit eternal life is to: Love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength (Mark 12:29-30; NLT).

He then explained that it is equally important to: Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31; NLT).

Finally, he stated: No other commandment is greater than these (Mark 12:31; NLT).

Having listened to Jesus’ answer, the religious expert felt the need to justify both himself and his own way of life, so he asked a further, absolutely crucial question: Who is my neighbour? (Luke 10:29; NLT).

Christ replied by telling him the parable of the Good Samaritan. In this story, a religious priest and a Temple assistant pass by without helping a fellow-citizen, who has been brutally attacked by thieves. The only person who approaches and takes care of the injured man is a Samaritan. People from Samaria were despised by Jews. At the end of the story, even the religious expert has to admit that the Samaritan, alone, was a neighbour to the stranger left half-dead by the roadside (Luke 10:30-37; NLT).

Who is my neighbour?
In the light of this parable, when we, too, ask Who is my neighbour?  it’s easy to see that our neighbours include:

  • Everyone we live near, know, speak to, or recognise in our local area
  • All those, both near and far, with whom we have any kind of contact
  • All strangers
  • All foreigners
  • People we hear about from others
  • Everyone we read about in the news, hear about on the radio, see on television, or come across online, and in social media
  • Everyone we disagree with
  • Everyone we consider to be our enemy
  • All humanity throughout the world

How does the gospel ask to relate to others?
Our task is to respond to God’s love by loving and serving God, Jesus, and their Holy Spirit in everyone: Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me… Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me (Matthew 25:40,45; NLT).

Why is love so important?
No matter what else we do in life, if we do not love God and other people our lives can have no eternal value or purpose. As St.Paul says: If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing (1 Corinthians 13:3; NLT).

What is love?
Christ’s words, behaviour, life and death show us the answer to this question, whilst St. Paul spells it out in words. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7; NLT).

His conclusion is that: Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13; NLT).

An impossible task?
Paul’s description of generous, self-giving love may sound like an impossible task. However, God’s Holy Sprit, who lives within us all, constantly longs to help: The LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion (Isaiah 30:18; NLT).

So all we need to do is to ask the Spirit to help us change and grow. The fruit of our developing oneness with God, Christ, and their Holy Spirit will then gradually be seen in our thoughts, words, behaviour and actions: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22; NLT). As these qualities grow within us, loving others becomes habitual, natural, genuine and spontaneous. This is a deeply joyful way of life, even amidst our own trials and sorrows.

Following Jesus
The first step on this journey of personal spiritual growth is believing that Christ has been sent by God. Remarkably, this is the only work God wants from us (John 6:29; NLT).

Wherever he went, Jesus made his message absolutely simple and direct: If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it (Luke 9:23-4; NLT).

So, once we put our trust in Jesus, we follow him by loving him in others, no matter what circumstances we ourselves must face. As Christ said after washing his disciples’ feet at the Lat Supper: I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done for you (John 13:15; CSB).

Jesus always practiced what he preached, even praying for those who crucified him, then saving the repentant sufferer on the cross next to his (Luke 23:34,43; NLT). Indeed, Christ loved others so radically that it was his revolutionary faith in the centrality of love which ultimately cost him his life. As he himself said: There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13; NLT).

Conclusion
Jesus made it abundantly clear that it’s not what we say we believe, or what we teach others to believe that counts – it’s how we love God, and how we love others.

The heart of the gospel is that God loves us all, and that we can find complete fulfilment through loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and in loving others as ourselves, just as Christ did. By doing this, we become one with God forever. This is salvation, and there can be no better Good News than this!

References

God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16; NLT).

The most important commandment is this: “Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the one and only LORD. You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” The second is equally important: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” No other commandment is greater than these (Mark 12:29-31; NLT).

There is…one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all (Ephesians 4:5-6; NLT).

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT).

Your immortal spirit is in every one of them (Wisdom of Solomon 12:1; GNTA).

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you (1 Thessalonians 3:12; NIV).

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against a fellow Israelite, but love your neighbour as yourself (Leviticus 19:18; NLT).

Love the stranger (Deuteronomy 10:19; NKJV).

Show love to foreigners (Deuteronomy 10:19; NLT).

Love your enemies (Matthew 5:44; NLT).

Love cares more for others than for self (1 Corinthians 13:3-7; TM).

Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent” (John 6:29; NLT).

Why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ When you don’t do what I say? (Luke 6:46; NLT).

The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden (Matthew 23:2-4; NLT).

With eyes fully open

Ruth Kirk

This prayer came to me the moment I woke and started to pray on Christmas morning. It is a special prayer for all of us who find Christmas very difficult, whatever the reason. With my warmest love, and with thanks to you all for your support, from Ruth xxx

I love you, LORD; you are my strength (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

With eyes fully open,
And eyes fully closed:
Yahweh, I love you so much!

No matter what happens
You’re here, at my side:
Jesus, I love you so much!

Speaking, or silent,
You’re here, in my soul:
Spirit, I love you so much!

And you love me too,
Though I can’t see you yet:
But soon, Lord, I’ll reach out, and touch!

Reach out your hand and put it into my side (John 20:27; NIV).

If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed (Matthew 9:21; NLT).

References

Look at my hands. Look at my feet. You can see that it’s really me. Touch me and make sure that I am not a ghost, because ghosts don’t have bodies, as you see that I do. As he spoke, he showed them his hands and feet (Luke 24:39-40; NLT).

Blessed are those who believe without seeing me (John 20:29; NLT).

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me (Psalm 23:4; NLT).

After my body has decayed, yet in my body I will see God! I will see him for myself. Yes, I will see him with my own eyes (Job 19:26-7; NLT).

He loves us with unfailing love; the LORD’S faithfulness endures forever. Praise the LORD! (Psalm 117:2; NLT).

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known (1 Corinthians 12:12; NIV).

The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV).

So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him (Luke 15:20; NLT).

 

A vicious, verbal attack

Ruth Kirk

Yesterday, out of the blue, I was viciously criticised online by a man who said he was a theologian. In several long messages he vented his complete rejection of my faith, my writing, my spiritual life and my website. He rubbished everything I share with you, and could not grasp my central aim: that others who also suffer may feel a little less alone, and find some comfort and hope here in my honesty.

I tried to engage with this man, but it was hopeless. I told him how badly he had hurt me, and asked him to apologise, so we could be reconciled. I told him I was praying for him. In response, he became offensive, so I had to block him. In all the years I’ve been running this website, I’ve only had to do that once before.

Straight after posting this message, I will pray for him again. Then I will begin the long process of recovering from his abuse, and forgiving him for the damage he has done to me. What made him act like this? I have no idea, other than that it seemed to be an explosive reaction to reading my latest blog: “Here I am, Jesus!” This is a link to it, in case you would like to read it for yourself: https://wp.me/p45bCr-lH3.

Friends, I am deeply saddened, shaken and disturbed by this man’s bitter verbal attack. Please pray for me, as I cling to Christ for support, and pray for him too, if you can find it in your heart to join me in doing so.

With much love to you all, from Ruth xxxx

When I lose my peace

Ruth Kirk

Keep on seeking, and you will find (Matthew 7:7; NLT).

When I lose my peace,
May I find yours, Lord;
And when I lose my way,
May I find yours.

When I lose my strength,
May I find yours, Lord;
And when I lose my truth,
May I find yours.

When I lose my hope,
May I find yours, Lord;
And when I lose my light,
May I find yours.

When I lose my faith,
May I find yours, Lord;
And when I lose my life,
May I find yours.

If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it (Matthew 10:39; NLT).

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6; NLT).

You love us

Ruth Kirk

The Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost (Luke 19:10; NLT).

When we lose our way,
You seek us.

When we lose our peace,
You care.

When we lose our hope,
You help us.

When we lose our faith,
You share.

At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46; NLT).