Introduction
I have spent a lifetime working on myself, in the hope of overcoming my chronic dread, fear and panic. To avoid repetition, I will refer to these feelings and sensations collectively as anxiety.
As an adult, I have doggedly pursued many different treatment approaches for anxiety. Some have made no difference at all, whilst others have helped to varying degrees. None has enabled me to overcome it completely, but God has been with me every step of the way. I have complete faith that God will bring good from all my struggles.
Glimpsing a way forward
A few nights ago, as I kissed my icon of Jesus before going to bed, I glimpsed a completely new way of relating to my anxiety. To my great surprise, I heard myself asking out loud:
“What if, instead of doing all I can to get rid of anxiety, dread, fear and panic, I simply welcome them, accept them, and listen to what they want to tell me?”
Stunned by the implications of this question, I knew something significant was happening, but had no idea where it might be leading.
Listening to feelings
Next morning, whilst praying sleepily, I realised that whenever I experience anxiety, I can, indeed, ask myself, “What are these feelings telling me?”
Immediately, I knew my answer to this question would always be the same: my anxiety is telling me that I don’t feel safe.
Am I safe?
This means that every time I’m feeling anxious, I can ask myself a single, very important question, a question which calls for an entirely objective answer:
“Am I safe right now?”
In response, I will briefly take stock of my current situation and surroundings. Almost always, the answer is going to be: “Yes, I am safe right now”. When this is the case, no matter how severe my anxiety may be, I will know that it is not about a real and present danger to which I need to react. This means I can safely welcome, accept and embrace how I feel. Instead of fighting my anxiety, I can relax into it, allowing it to happen, and to pass, in its own time.
Past traumas
I’m able to begin accepting anxiety in this way because I know it is a normal, long-term consequence of an emotionally abusive childhood. I can therefore choose to welcome it without attaching any current significance to how I feel.
Despite what my body and mind are telling me, if there is, objectively-speaking, no current threat to my safety, I can be confident that my feelings belong to the past. Meanwhile, in the present moment, I will be able to remind myself that have nothing to fear, even though I still feel afraid.
Conclusion
Once I grasped the healing potential of this new approach to experiencing anxiety, fear, dread and panic, I resolved to start using it immediately. My aim is to embrace these feelings with healing love, as a prayerful, spiritual practice. Maybe I will report back one day on how I’m getting on!
Acknowledgements
Many years ago, when my anxiety was very bad indeed, I read a book called: “Simple, effective treatment of agoraphobia”, by Dr. Claire Weekes. It became the foundation of all my subsequent efforts to help myself, and continues to influence my approach to feared situations right up to the present day. Without the profound influence this book has had on my life and my thinking, I could not have written the above article.
I also want to express my deepest thanks to D.L. my long-term EMDR therapist. She has helped me through many years of struggling to overcome the consequences of my past. Her warmth, skill, patience, insight, knowledge, empathy, kindness and humour continue to be my lifeline, and my example.
