Category: Vision

Jesus

Ruth Kirk

When I reached the first bead of the second decade on my prayer-circlet yesterday morning, I suddenly saw the word Jesus, in bold lettering. It was shining just above a dark shape I was looking towards. I don’t know what the dark shape was, because my eyes were closed and my inner space was very dimly lit.

Christ’s name was spelled out in golden light, and curved like a rainbow. The letters partially encircled the dark object, though they did not touch it. The effect was rather like a halo.

Instantly, I thought how fantastic it would be to see Jesus’ name like this wherever I look, always reminding me of his constant presence in everyone and everything.

Then today’s prayer burst out so fast that I could barely keep pace with the words as I hurried to note them down:

God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name (Philippians 2:9; NIV). 

Everywhere I look today:
May I see your name shine out,
Lord Jesus.

Everyone I meet today:
May I see your face in theirs,
Lord Jesus.

Every thought I have today:
May it be like one of yours,
Lord Jesus.

Every word I speak today:
May it be as if your own,
Lord Jesus.

Everything I do today:
May I do it all for you,
Lord Jesus.

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me’ (Matthew 25:49; NIV).

References 

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it (John 1:5; NLT).

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12; NLT).

I will see you face to face and be satisfied (Psalm 17:15; NLT).

We have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16; NLT).

Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

Whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus (Colossians 3:17; NLT). 

Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31; NLT). 

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people (James 2:12; NLT).

Reading: Philippians 2:5-11; NIV.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

 

 

Speak, Lord

Ruth Kirk

A few days ago, as I was waking up, I heard a voice calling my name twice (see https://wp.me/p45bCr-deF). Sleepy and confused, I thought it must be my husband, so I went downstairs to check, but it wasn’t him.

Then, to my dismay, I realised that I should have answered, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:9; NIV). I prayed about this immediately, and said I was sorry, but still felt very sad that I had failed to respond at the right time.

However, yesterday the voice called my name again, just once, as I was waking, and this time I was ready to answer with the words Eli gave to Samuel in similar circumstances, so long ago. 

As soon as I replied, today’s prayer came to me. It was difficult to write, because I had no idea what God might be going to say. So now I must, “Wait patiently for him to act” (Psalm 37:7; NLT). 

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).

Was it you who called my name, Lord?
Was it you who hailed me?

Last time, Lord, I didn’t answer –
Dazed, confused, I failed Thee.

This time, Lord, I said the words
That Eli gave to Samuel:

“Speak, Lord, for your servant listens” –
Yahweh, may I listen well. 

Listen to God’s voice (Deuteronomy 26:17; TIB).

Reading: 1 Samuel 3:1-10; NIV.

The boy Samuel ministered before the LORD under Eli. In those days the word of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions.

One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place.

The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the house of the LORD, where the ark of God was.

Then the LORD called Samuel. Samuel answered, “Here I am.”

And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” So he went and lay down.

Again the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” “My son,” Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.”

Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD: The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him.

A third time the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy.

So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.’ ” So Samuel went and lay down in his place.

The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

 

Prayer

Ruth Kirk

As I was  beginning to surface from a bad dream early yesterday morning, I heard a voice call out my name: “Ruth!” A few moments later it happened again: “Ruth!” I felt disorientated and confused, too sleepy to respond.

Sitting on the edge of my bed (I have to stand up slowly), I tried to pray about what had happened, but I don’t think I made much sense. 

Even once I began to move about, it took me several more minutes to realise that I could have answered: “Speak, Lord, your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:9; NLT). I prayed about this, but felt sad that I had missed my chance to respond.

After breakfast it was hard to pray for others, as discussed yesterday (here is a link: https://wp.me/p45bCr-deo). Then a possible way forward suddenly came into my mind.

Introductory prayers
Using the first section of my five-decade rosary (the cross and the five beads which lead to the main circle), I kissed the cross, and used it to make the sign of the cross. Then I said five of my favourite morning prayers, one on each bead. Pausing at the centrepiece, I asked the Holy Spirit to direct my prayers, and to help me to pray.

First decade: Praying for others
Next, I held the first bead of the first decade whilst praying for the first person who came into my mind. After each bead, I moved on to the next, waiting to see who it was for, then praying for them, as described in the link above.

When I reached the fixed “Our Father” bead, I kissed it, and made the sign of the cross with it again, whilst saying: “Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Then I rested for a moment with my arms crossed on my breast, wondering what would come next. 

Second decade: Giving thanks
Almost immediately, I saw that the next decade was for giving thanks, so that’s exactly what I did. On each bead, I waited to see what came into my mind, then gave thanks for it. I knew that this could include saying thank-you for “bad” things, as well as “good” ones.

Half-way through the second decade, I saw what needed to come next: asking God’s forgiveness. Pausing to write this down, I continued giving thanks, until the next “Glory be”, when I rested again.

Third decade: Saying sorry, and asking forgiveness 
On the next group of beads, I said I was sorry for ten different things I had got wrong, one at a time, including my long-standing flaws and weaknesses. I asked God’s forgiveness and help on each bead, as before.

Fourth decade: Forgiving others
By the time I reached this point, I was tiring, but could see that the next ten beads would be about forgiving others. In fact there was no one at all I needed to forgive, so I moved straight on to the last ten beads.

Fifth decade: Praising God
The final decade was devoted to praising ten different aspects of God, which was very easy to do.

Conclusion
I’m hoping that this way of using my rosary might be particularly helpful when praying with words feels like an unmanageable task, or I’m finding it hard to concentrate. Holding the beads one at a time will hopefully help to keep me centred and grounded. It also limits the number of prayers on each subject to ten, though obviously this shouldn’t be too rigid.

The prayer on each bead will be as short, honest and direct as I can make it, so it will hopefully be possible to develop a momentum that keeps me moving forwards to the next prayer, and the next, rather than getting bogged down, or feeling overwhelmed and giving up. Finally, I plan to try starting and ending my circle of prayer by holding the cross during a period of silence.

 

My eyes are closed

Ruth Kirk

As I woke two days ago, I began to pray without words. My eyes were still closed, and I found that I was exploring the darkness of my mind. After a time, the first words for today’s prayer arrived, so I wrote them down, then returned to my silence. And, as often happens, the rest slowly followed:

Live a life filled with love (Ephesians 5:2; NLT). 

My eyes are closed,
And I can see the darkness
Of my mind.

Lord,
Show me every corner here
That isn’t filled with love:
Please shine your light.

Keeping them shut,
I move into the darkness
Of my heart.

Lord,
Show me every corner here
That isn’t filled with love:
Please speak the truth.

With eyes still closed,
I stumble through the darkness
Of my soul.

Lord,
Show me every corner here
That isn’t filled with love:
Please save my soul!

Save my soul (Psalm 22:20; NASB20). 

References 

God is light (1 John 1:5; NLT). 

Give light to my eyes (Psalm 13:3; NIV).

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it (John 1:5; NLT).

Make your face shine upon Your servant (Psalm 31:16; NKJV).

The Spirit is truth (1 John 5:6; NKJV).

When the Spirit of truth comes, she will guide you into all truth (John 16:13; TIB).

Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: oh save me for thy mercies’ sake (Psalm 6:4; KJV).

The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety (Psalm 18:2; NLT).

I saw your sun

Ruth Kirk

Yesterday, as I surfaced from sleep, I began to pray. My eyes were still closed, but I was looking across a wide, dark plain towards distant mountains, just as dawn was approaching.

As I watched, the sun began to rise behind the peaks. Soon it was fully visible, shining gloriously in the morning sky. Then today’s prayer came into my mind, though it proved difficult to express:

The glory of the LORD rises to shine on you (Isaiah 60:1; NLT). 

The LORD God is our sun and our shield (Psalm 84:11; NLT).

I saw your sun
Rise in my mind,
As I worshipped and prayed,

Till, over the mountains,
It shone in my heart,
Where it stayed.

Lord, Son of Righteousness,
Reign in my soul
All my days;

Then I will share
In your glory:
At one; unafraid.

The dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NLT). 

For you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture (Malachi 4:2; NLT).

References 

Since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17; NLT).

Your sun will never set; your moon will not go down. For the LORD will be your everlasting light. Your days of mourning will come to an end (Isaiah 60:20; NLT).

Now you can share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Thessalonians 2:14; NLT).

Give to the LORD the glory he deserves! Bring your offering and come into his presence. Worship the LORD in all his holy splendor (1 Chronicles 16:29; NLT).

Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory (Romans 5:2; NLT).

As we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world (1 John 4:17; NLT).

As I wake

Ruth Kirk

As I wake, eyes still closed, I’m in my familiar, warm, dimly-lit inner space, looking down at the dark, still surface of my unconscious mind, repeating, “I love you, Lord; I love you.” 

The face of the deep begins to stir, creating ripples which spread out from the centre until they are lost from my sight in the surrounding darkness. Then I hear myself saying aloud, “Let it be done to me according to thy word”. After this, I lie in silence, amazed and awed.

Eventually, I pick up my iPad, and start to write down what happened. I have a sense that something is coming: a change, a gain, a loss? What might it be? I feel a ripple of apprehension and excitement, which persists throughout the day.

References 

Darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters (Genesis 1:2; NLT). 

An angel of the Lord came from time to time and stirred up the water (John 5:4; NLT). 

I love you, Lord; you are my strength (Psalm 18:1; NLT). 

Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word (Luke 1:38; KJV).
Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you” (Matthew 9:29; NIV).

Then Jesus told the centurion, “Go. As you have believed, let it be done for you” (Matthew 8:13; CSB). 

Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10; RSV).

I want your will to be done, not mine (Luke 22:42; NLT).

 

I see

Ruth Kirk

I’ve tested negative for covid three times now, so despite my continuing fatigue, I decided to face my scheduled pain treatment at the hospital. As I entered the building I began to pray for everyone there and for those around me in the busy foyer. Then I suddenly saw the oneness of all humanity, even though we temporarily inhabit separate, fragile bodies during our time on earth.

There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28; NLT). 

With joy, I see at last
That all are one –

One mind, one heart, one soul,
Though billions strong.

We lodge in separate bodies, Lord,
It’s true,

Yet all remain forever
One in you.

You are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28; NLT).

Your immortal spirit is in every one of them (Wisdom of Solomon 12:1; GNTA).

 

All souls

Ruth Kirk

A few days ago, I suddenly saw that the souls of the living and the souls of the dead are exactly the same. As always, I looked for further information about this in the Scriptures, and here is the result:

  • The souls of all the living, and the souls of all the dead are just the same, because to God all are alive:
    He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive (Luke 20:38; NIV). 
  • Our souls come from God, remain part of God during our exile here, then return to God: The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7; KJV).
    Behold, all souls are mine (Ezekiel 18:4; HNV).
    The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7; NIV). 
  • Every soul belongs to God:
    Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord (Romans 14:8; NIV). 
  • The purpose of our lives is to become more and more like God:
    Learn to know your Creator and become like him (Colossians 3:10; NLT).
    Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy (Ephesians 4:24; NLT).

     

God’s light

Ruth Kirk

I woke after a long, vivid dream about being on a bike-ride, and getting completely lost in the dark. As I surfaced, I began to say the Lord’s Prayer, but didn’t get very far…

You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light (2 Samuel 22:29; NLT).

Suddenly, for the first time ever, I was looking directly into my soul. It was softly illuminated by God’s light, just as an oil lamp creates a pool of light in darkness. Previously, I’ve only seen my soul’s dark surface from the outside.

My soul seemed completely empty, but I couldn’t be sure of this because of the darkness beyond the pool of light. If it had any boundaries, they too were lost in the deep, surrounding shadows. This sight lasted no more than a few seconds, then it was over.

Afterwards, I wondered if this experience had really happened, or if I had imagined it. However, when I was saying grace before breakfast, I saw that not only is God light, but that all light is the light of God.

The city has no need of sun or moon, for the glory of God illuminates the city, and the Lamb is its light (Revelation 21:23; NLT). 

References

Clouds and thick darkness surround him (Psalm 97:2; NIV).

Moses approached the thick darkness where God was (Exodus 20:21; NLT).

Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light (Micah 7:8; NLT).

This, then, is the message we heard from Jesus and declare to you: God is light, and in God there is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5; TIB).

I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches from secret places so that you may know that I am the Lord (Isaiah 45:3; CSB).

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12; NLT).

My sun

Ruth Kirk

As I lay in bed, praying without words, I saw again that Yahweh is in everything. However, this time I saw a little further, grasping with joy and relief that God is even present in my darkness:

The LORD God is our sun and our shield (Psalm 84:11; NLT).

My sun, my cloud, my darkness;
My way, my staff, my rod;
My joy, my tears, my sickness;
My guide, my truth: my God.

My prayers, my sighs, my anguish;
My way, my staff, my rod;
My mind, my heart, my spirit;
My life, my love: my God.

“My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed (John 20:28; NLT). 

There is …one God and Creator of all, who is over all, who works through all and is within all (Ephesians 4:5-6; TIB).

References

Clouds and thick darkness surround him (Psalm 97:2; NIV).

Moses approached the thick darkness where God was (Exodus 20:21; NLT).

Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light (Micah 7:8; NLT).

I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches from secret places so that you may know that I am the Lord (Isaiah 45:3; CSB).

Christ is all, and is in all (Colossians 3:11; NIV). 

Don’t you realise that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you? (1 Corinthians 3:16; NLT).