Agoraphobia diary: day 1

Hello everyone. As promised, here is my usual blog, plus a short report on today’s agoraphobia-defying journey. My husband took me to the Isle of Man airport, and all went well with the flight, though it was a very fast and bumpy landing.  When I got to arrivals at London City my taxi driver wasn’t there. For a moment I felt completely alone and bereft, with no idea what to do. Then I got out my phone and called the company. Within 15 minutes the driver arrived and I was safely in the car, but the experience was definitely stressful. Worth it, though, as whilst I was waiting I saw a cool businessman in a suit glide by on a special scooter that also carried his suitcase.

Traffic on the motorway was very bad, sadly owing to an accident, so after a lot of long queuing, we turned off on to tiny lanes and roads through old villages. It was picturesque, but made me more anxious that I would have been if we’d gone direct, especially as I had no idea where we were. A journey that would normally take two hours took three, and I had to exert myself to relax and let it happen. The driver had Radio 2 on, playing music quietly, but with an insistent drum-beat all the time. I used headphones, tried to sleep etc, but the drumming was unpleasant, very migraine- provoking. After a fair bit of rehearsing, I managed to broach the subject just as we arrived at our destination, having previously felt I couldn’t possibly say anything direct about it.

So, here I am at my hotel in Ely, very tired, but pleased with how the day has gone. Tomorrow I’ve been invited to go to Cambridge by my son’s family. Before I got here, this excursion had been suggested, but felt impossible to me. However, I have now agreed to go, because full “flooding” or immersion treatment is often the most effective. So much more comfortable to cling to the safety of my hotel room and the surrounding streets!

Anyway, here is tonight’s prayer, for regular readers. Hopefully, I’ll be back tomorrow evening to report on the day.

My task

I love you, Lord (Psalm 18:1; NLT).

Love your neighbour as yourself (James 2:8; NLT).

To acquire wisdom is to love oneself (Proverbs 19:8; NLT).


I love you, Lord,
So now my task
Is learning to love
Everyone on earth –
Including me!

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