Over the last few weeks, since a dream reminded me of something wrong I did many years ago, I’ve been living with a constant sense of dread. Even confessing to the person concerned, and being forgiven by them has made no difference. Once my childhood dread has been re-triggered, it’s not under my conscious control, and seems impossible to shift. However, I’ve now begun working on this with my trauma therapist, and am hoping I can improve again.
Meanwhile, many of the prayers I’m given continue to explore the issues of sin, conscience, guilt, confession, shame, forgiveness and reconciliation.
I always try to maintain a clear conscience before God and all people (Acts 24:16; NLT).
I close my eyes, Lord,
Face my conscience,
And confess my sins
To you,
Asking you, Lord,
To forgive
The wrongs I think,
And say, and do.
Then I go
To those I’ve hurt,
Apologise
For what I’ve done,
And beg them, Lord,
To grant me pardon,
For the sake
Of your dear Son.
Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear (1 Timothy 1:19; NLT).
References
If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God (Matthew 5:23-4; NLT).
Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water (Hebrews 10:22; NIV).