Facing the possibility that I might be autistic seems, at last, to be giving me real permission to be myself.
I have never understood what this might mean before. Rather, I have always consciously tried to say and do what I think others want or expect of me in all circumstances. I thought this was how most people managed to be a person, and to get through life – two tasks I have always found very difficult and demanding.
Only when absolutely necessary have I strongly asserted my personal opinions, choices, needs and boundaries. This means making a huge effort which bursts all my careful, ‘normal’, personal boundaries.
Perhaps, at last, I can start to discover what it means to be myself, rather than working so hard to shape myself around others all the time?
Anyway, on this theme, here is today’s blog, which came to me as soon as I started to pray early this morning.
Love your neighbour as yourself (Leviticus 19:18; NLT; my emphasis).
If the Son sets you free, you are truly free (John 8:36; NLT).
Maybe it’s alright, Lord,
To be me?
Maybe you have come
To set me free?
Maybe I can be myself
At last?
Maybe I can throw away
My mask?
Maybe I can change?
Can life be good?
Is this what it means to
Live in love?
We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them (1 John 4:16; NLT).
A reading
He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written: He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor (Luke 4:16-19; NIV).