Lost?


Some wandered in the wilderness, lost and homeless (Psalm 107:4; NLT).

Some sat in darkness and deepest gloom, imprisoned in iron chains of misery (Psalm 107:10; NLT).

Lost in darkness, or abuse?
Lost in emptiness, or dread?
Lost in hopelessness, or sin?
Lost in panic, rage, or fear?

Lost in loneliness, or grief?
Lost in suffering, or pain?
Lost in bitterness, or hate?
Lost in anguish? Christ is here.

The Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost (Luke 19:10; NLT).

I am with you every day, even unto the end of time (Matthew 28:20; ABPE).


References

He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground (Luke 22:41-44; NLT).

Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested (Hebrews 2:18; NLT).

Since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most (Hebrews 4:14-16; NLT).

No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:39; NLT).


God’s love


God’s love toward us is great, God’s faithfulness, eternal (Psalm 117:2; TIB).

My God, you love me evermore!
You sent your only Son, to save
Us all. Your Spirit gave me birth,
So, through your loving, I have worth.

You never grab me, scream abuse,
Fill me with dread, or threaten me,
Or break my heart, or mind, or soul:
Instead, you want to make me whole.

You know my mother damaged me.
She wasn’t perfect; nor am I.
She was so angry, bitter, raw:
But she can’t hurt me any more –

Because you hold me in your hands,
And make my trauma work for good.
You are my source, my life, my goal:
You will restore, and save, my soul!

God, “…restores my soul” (Psalm 23:3; NKJV). 

God, “…will spare the poor and needy, and will save the souls of the needy” (Psalm 72:13; NKJV).


References

They swung their axes like woodcutters in a forest. With axes and picks, they smashed the carved paneling. They burned your sanctuary to the ground. They defiled the place that bears your name. Then they thought, “Let’s destroy everything!” So they burned down all the places where God was worshiped (Psalm 74:5-8; NLT).

Your anointed will rescue the poor when they cry out, and the oppressed when there is no one to help them. Your chosen one will take pity on the lowly and the poor, and will save their lives. Your chosen one will rescue them all from violence and oppression, and will treat their blood as precious (Psalm 72:12-14; TIB).

We know that God makes everything work together for the good of those who love God and have been called according to God’s purpose (Romans 8:28; TIB).

There is no fear in love, for perfect love drives out fear. To fear is to expect punishment, and anyone who is afraid is still imperfect in love. We love because God first loved us (1 John 4:18-19; TIB).


Life and freedom


If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:36; NIV).

I’ve spent far too much of my life:

  • Trying to be what others want me to be.
  • Trying to behave as others desire, expect, require, or demand.
  • Trying to make myself believe, feel, think, say and do what others tell me I should.
  • Trying to pray, worship and serve as others say I should.
  • Trying to live as others say I should.

But now I’m working on personal change. This means:

  • Listening to myself, so I can discover how I feel, what I think, and what I want to say and do.
  • Finding out what I truly believe, and how I want to pray, worship, and serve.
  • Taking steps to live in ways which are meaningful to me, rather than depressing.

I have always felt guilty when others are disappointed in me for not being, or doing, as they expect. Fear of their disgust, anger and rejection makes me very anxious. This fear dates back to my emotionally abusive childhood. However, I am now facing up to these inner challenges on a daily basis.

So, at 72 years old, I’m just starting to have life to the full, and beginning to experience moments of genuine fulfilment and joy: the joy of being myself.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10.10; NIV).


You are here


Nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38; NLT).

Lord,
In my anguish,
My dread and my panic,
My worry and weeping:
I trust you are here.

Lord,
In my anger,
My shame and my failure,
My troubles and sorrows:
I sense you are here.

Lord,
In my sickness,
My pain and my weakness,
My darkness and silence:
I know you are here.

Lord,
In my breathing,
My growing and changing,
My living and dying:
I’m glad you are here.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).


Sharing the truth


We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

God doesn’t want to hear us say
Just what we think we ought, in prayer:
God only wants us to express
The bitter truths we never share.

God doesn’t want us to recite
Long eulogies, or high-flown pleas:
God only wants us to express
The angry truth, which heals, and frees.

God doesn’t want us to repeat
What others write; to hide, or feign:
God only wants us to express
The brutal truth about our pain.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done (Philippians 4:6; NLT).


Self-awareness and self-assertion


Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me (Luke 8:46; NLT).

Introduction
Jesus was fully self-aware. For example, he could identify the difference between the times when he gave healing or absolution to others, and the times when people took from him without his volition. He also had boundaries, knew when they were being crossed, and believed in dealing with challenging situations immediately and directly.

Christ had three basic ways of expressing his gut feelings:

1. Through his behaviour
Always in touch with his gut feelings, Jesus was able to express them through his behaviour. Thus, we see him experience and express many emotions, including joy, anger, grief and anguish.

2. Through his words
Being aware of his emotions enabled Jesus to identify when, and how, he needed to speak out directly to other people. He did not suppress, ignore, or override his emotions, nor did he pretend they did not exist, or fake something different. Rather, the Gospels report that he readily verbalised his feelings of frustration, irritation, impatience, sadness and dread directly to those concerned.

3. Through authentic prayer
Jesus also expressed his feelings directly to God in prayer. This would have happened during his constant daily communion with God, as well as in his regular times of solitary prayer. We see this, for example, at Gethsemane, and as he hung on the cross.

Honest self-expression and mental health
Dealing with his feelings directly in these ways prevented unexpressed emotions, unaddressed problems and hidden resentments from building up over time. Instead, Jesus fully lived his gut feelings, and used them to guide his behaviour, speech and prayers. This helped him to maintain his absolute honesty and directness with others, his personal authenticity, and his mental health, despite the tremendous pressures and stresses he constantly faced.

Conclusion
Christ is our model for how to live healthily, and, as far as humanly possible, without sin. As we have seen, he was always in touch with his emotions, and was able to express them appropriately. He was scrupulously honest and absolutely direct in all his communication with others. He often confronted people, yet was never unfair. He had very clear boundaries, and knew when he was giving, and when others were taking from him. Above all, Jesus used his self-awareness and gut feelings to help him deal with every situation in such a way as to bring about positive results for others, as well as for himself.

Developing our own skills in self-awareness, self-assertion and direct communication is essential if we, too, are to maintain healthy relationships with ourselves, with others, and with God. Unless we learn to live authentically, we cannot hope to achieve the inner peace of body, mind, heart and soul we yearn for. Self-awareness, self-assertion and self-expression are therefore very significant aspects of what it means for us to, “have the mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:16; NLT).


References

A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding, and she could find no cure. Coming up behind Jesus, she touched the fringe of his robe. Immediately, the bleeding stopped. “Who touched me?” Jesus asked. Everyone denied it, and Peter said, “Master, this whole crowd is pressing up against you.” But Jesus said, “Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me.” When the woman realized that she could not stay hidden, she began to tremble and fell to her knees in front of him. The whole crowd heard her explain why she had touched him and that she had been immediately healed. “Daughter,” he said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace” (Luke 8:43-8; NLT).

At that time Jesus full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children” (Luke 10:21; NIV).

Jesus said to them, “You faithless people! How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you?” (Mark 9:19; NLT).

You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say (Matthew 12:34; NLT).

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me (Matthew 23:37; NLT).

In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!” (John 2:14-16; NLT).

Then Jesus wept (John 11:35; NLT).

He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and he became anguished and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine” (Matthew 26:37-9; NLT).

He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood (Luke 22:44; NLT).

Then at three o’clock Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Mark 15:34; NLT).

Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray (Mark 1:35; NLT).

He is your example, and you must follow in his steps (1 Peter 2:21; NLT).

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector (Matthew 18:15-17; NLT).


Just pray! (for M. and M.)


Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV).

Pray in silence,
Pray with words;
Pray with laughter,
Sighs, and tears.

Pray through music,
Pray through dance;
Pray in anger,
Sin, and fear.

Pray in sickness,
Pray in pain;
Pray when grieving
Night and day.

Pray with faith,
And pray with none:
No matter what God sends –
Just pray!

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21; CSB).

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28; NLT).


Self-acceptance


Even if I’m innocent, I can’t hold my head high, because I am filled with shame and misery (Job 10:15; NLT).

What if I don’t need to feel so guilty
Just for thinking?
What if I don’t need to be ashamed
Of how I feel?

What if I don’t need to fear your anger
Day and night, Lord?
What if you are always keen
To understand, and heal?

What if I don’t need to chafe
That I am just a burden?
What if I don’t need to fret
That I am just a sham?

What if I don’t need to feel
So guilty for existing?
Then, Lord, I could be myself,
Exactly as I am.

My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life (John 10:10; NLT).

If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:36; NIV).

God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned (John 3:17-18; NIV).


 

Suffering


Whatever happens to you, accept it (Sirach 2:4; NJB).

There is a big difference between accepting our suffering willingly, and resenting it bitterly.

The first approach to suffering represents a genuine, personal sacrifice which brings us into loving solidarity with Jesus, and with all who suffer throughout the world. It creates empathy, joy, thankfulness and praise, no matter what we are enduring.

The second attitude to suffering tends to make us self-centred, self-pitying, depressed and angry. This response damages the special opportunity suffering offers us to live in unity with Jesus, and with all our fellow human beings.

Personally, I choose to welcome and embrace all my suffering, however limiting, painful or uncomfortable it may be, because, as St. Paul wrote:

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:10; NLT).

With this trusting attitude, suffering becomes a gift, out of which God can bring much good. This way of suffering brings us into contact with others, both in person, and through our prayers. It helps us to empathise with others, and to reach out to them with Christian love, concern and care.

Love cares more for others than for self (1 Corinthians 13:3-7; TM).


References 

Since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17; NLT).

Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are (1 Peter 5:9; NLT).

Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done” (Matthew 26:42; NLT).

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21; CSB).

Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? (Job 2:10; NIV).

Everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen (Romans 11:36; NLT).

The LORD gives both death and life (I Samuel 2:6; NLT).

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16; NIV).

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28; NIV).

Those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31; NLT).


A reading from 2 Corinthians 1:3-5; AMP.

Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

For just as Christ’s sufferings are ours in abundance [as they overflow to His followers], so also our comfort [our reassurance, our encouragement, our consolation] is abundant through Christ [it is truly more than enough to endure what we must].


 

In prayer


Let me hear in the morning of thy steadfast love, for in thee I put my trust. Teach me the way I should go, for to thee I lift up my soul (Psalm 143:8; RSV).

My soul sinks into your heart, Lord God,
Then rises into your hands.

You take me into your arms, Lord God:
No anger; reproach; demands.

You draw my soul into yours, Lord God,
Then eagerly make us one

With your glory, so bright, your peace and delight,
Your Spirit, your love, and your Son.

I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one (John 17:22; NLT).


References

So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him (Luke 15:20; NLT).

The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you (Deuteronomy 33:27; NLT).

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).

The LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs (Zephaniah 3:17; NLT).