Category: Anger

Suffering

Ruth Kirk

Whatever happens to you, accept it (Sirach 2:4; NJB).

There is a big difference between accepting our suffering willingly, and resenting it bitterly.

The first approach to suffering represents a genuine, personal sacrifice which brings us into loving solidarity with Jesus, and with all who suffer throughout the world. It creates empathy, joy, thankfulness and praise, no matter what we are enduring.

The second attitude to suffering tends to make us self-centred, self-pitying, depressed and angry. This response damages the special opportunity suffering offers us to live in unity with Jesus, and with all our fellow human beings.

Personally, I choose to welcome and embrace all my suffering, however limiting, painful or uncomfortable it may be, because, as St. Paul wrote:

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:10; NLT).

With this trusting attitude, suffering becomes a gift, out of which God can bring much good. This way of suffering brings us into contact with others, both in person, and through our prayers. It helps us to empathise with others, and to reach out to them with Christian love, concern and care.

Love cares more for others than for self (1 Corinthians 13:3-7; TM).

References 

Since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Romans 8:17; NLT).

Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are (1 Peter 5:9; NLT).

Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done” (Matthew 26:42; NLT).

I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things (Isaiah 45:7; NLT).

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21; CSB).

Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? (Job 2:10; NIV).

Everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen (Romans 11:36; NLT).

The LORD gives both death and life (I Samuel 2:6; NLT).

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16; NIV).

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28; NIV).

Those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31; NLT).

A reading from 2 Corinthians 1:3-5; AMP.

Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

For just as Christ’s sufferings are ours in abundance [as they overflow to His followers], so also our comfort [our reassurance, our encouragement, our consolation] is abundant through Christ [it is truly more than enough to endure what we must].

 

In prayer

Ruth Kirk

Let me hear in the morning of thy steadfast love, for in thee I put my trust. Teach me the way I should go, for to thee I lift up my soul (Psalm 143:8; RSV).

My soul sinks into your heart, Lord God,
Then rises into your hands.

You take me into your arms, Lord God:
No anger; reproach; demands.

You draw my soul into yours, Lord God,
Then eagerly make us one

With your glory, so bright, your peace and delight,
Your Spirit, your love, and your Son.

I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one (John 17:22; NLT).

References

So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him (Luke 15:20; NLT).

The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you (Deuteronomy 33:27; NLT).

The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24; NLT).

The LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs (Zephaniah 3:17; NLT).

 

Pray in the Spirit

Ruth Kirk

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion (1 Corinthians 14:15; NLT). 

Plead with the Father,
Call on his Son,
And pray in the Spirit of God.

Worship the Father,
Follow his Son,
And pray in the Spirit of God.

Join with the Father,
Serve with his Son,
And pray in the Spirit of God.

Live in the Father,
Rest in his Son,
And pray in the Spirit of God.

All who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God (Romans 8:14; NLT).

A reading: Romans 8:26-7; AMP.

We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words. And He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because the Spirit intercedes [before God] on behalf of God’s people in accordance with God’s will.

 

Jesus, I trust in you

Ruth Kirk

Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us (Colossians 3:11; NLT). 

Whenever you’re anxious,
Or burdened by sin,
Say: “Jesus, I trust in you” –
He is within.

Whenever you’re angry,
With bitter words said,
Pray: “Jesus, I trust in you” –
Weeping, instead.

Whenever you’re sorry,
Ashamed and contrite,
Cry: “Jesus, I trust in you” –
He is your Light;

And when people hurt you,
Reject you, or chide,
Sigh: “Jesus, I trust in you” –
Thanking your Guide.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NIV).

Jesus [is] the guide and end of our faith (Hebrews 12:2; BBE).

 

Prayer

Ruth Kirk

Whilst praying yesterday, this prayer simply flooded into my heart:

By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me – a prayer to the God of my life (Psalm 42:8; NIV).

Prayer is love, and joy,
And light.
Prayer is anger, grief,
And tears.

Prayer means being real
With God.
Prayer means facing
All our fears.

Prayer is simple, short,
And plain.
It means communing
Night and day.

Prayer means living
Hid with Christ
In God, whilst sharing –
Come what may!

Pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17; NIV).

References 

Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the LORD (1 Samuel 1:10; NLT). 

When you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words (Matthew 6:7; NIV).

You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD (Psalm 139:4; NLT). 

She never left the Temple but stayed there day and night, worshiping God with fasting and prayer (Luke 2:37; NLT). 

You have died, and your life is hid with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3; RSV).

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done (Philippians 4:6; NLT).

 

Tricked

Ruth Kirk

Early yesterday morning, as I sleepily finished saying the Lord’s Prayer and began to pray for the people who scammed us last week, the first four lines and the shape of today’s poem struck me very forcefully.

From within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you (Mark 7:21-23; NLT). 

It’s better to be tricked
Than to trick others.
It’s better to be hated
Than to hate.
It’s better, Lord, to suffer
Than to lie, and cheat, and steal,
But better still to feel ashamed –
Before it’s far too late.

It’s better to be kind
Than to be angry.
It’s better to be patient
Than to rage.
It’s better to be martyred
Than to harm, abuse, or kill,
But best of all is to repent –
For You, alone, can save.

Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign LORD rescues us from death (Psalm 68:20; NLT).

 

Seek us

Ruth Kirk

This prayer came to me a few days ago, as I prayed before my favourite icon:

The Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost (Luke 19:10; NLT). 

Lord,

Seek us when we turn away
And lose our faith in you:
Please bring us gently back again
And let us start anew.

Save us when we turn aside
And stumble, slip, or fall:
Forgive us; guide us back again –
Lord, hear us when we call.

Help us when we turn from you
In rage, grief, or despair:
Encourage us to lean on you,
And trust, Lord, in your care.

They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them (Psalm 112:7; NLT).

 

Dream: 4.5.23.

Ruth Kirk

Regular readers will know about my childhood, but for those who don’t, here is a link to a blog which summarises it: https://wp.me/p45bCr-dTm.

While I was lying in my bed, this is what I dreamed (Daniel 4:10; NLT).

Last night I dreamed that my mother and I were in charge of catering for group of 15-20 adults and children. One day we completely forgot to discuss what to make for their dinner. 

While everyone was out for the afternoon, I tried to make some scones as a surprise for them when they came in. However, I couldn’t find the recipe I was looking for, and everything I tried to do went wrong.

Long before I expected them, the group returned, hungry, and eager for their evening meal. Realising with horror that my mother and I had forgotten all about it, I searched around for some biscuits and leftovers to keep them going. However, what I found was clearly inadequate; I felt ashamed as I offered it around. There wasn’t even any butter or jam to make the stale, dry food a little more palatable.

When my mother appeared, she quickly grasped the situation, went to the kitchen, and started cooking, though we had very few ingredients available, and no meat. Meanwhile, I spent time with our guests.

Eventually she served them with small portions of plain boiled vegetables. The recipients looked very disappointed. It was a woefully inadequate meal, and we both knew it. I expected my mother to be furious with me, but to my utter astonishment, she didn’t try to dump all the blame on me for our joint mistake. We shared our failure without a word of recrimination.

This dream might not sound very surprising to other people, but was very remarkable for me, because nothing remotely like it ever happened while my mother was alive. In fact, throughout my 70 years of life, it was by far the most positive dream I’ve ever had about her.

It’s a long time since my mother died, but I’m starting to wonder if God is slowly moving me towards healing, one dream at a time…

Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! (Isaiah 49:15; NLT).

 

I can’t be whole (for J.)

Ruth Kirk

Today’s verses came to me yesterday morning as I lay in silent prayer shortly after waking up. They arrived with an involuntary groan, and struck me to the heart.

If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God (Matthew 5:23-4; NLT). 

I can’t be whole without my shadow, Lord,
Without the parts I bury and deny.
For you know all about me, good and bad:
The sins I haven’t faced, which underlie

The guilt and shame tormenting me within,
My sharp regrets, my cowardice and dread
Of being honest, Lord, with those I’ve hurt.
Please help me to confess at last, instead.

Accepting all the anger I deserve,
I’ll say I’m sorry, ceasing to defend
Myself against the truth of every wrong,
And then my shadow will become my friend.

With you, I’ll face the darkness in my soul;
My conscience will be healed, then I’ll be whole.

He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but His hands make whole (Job 5:18; NKJV). 

References 

Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely (Psalm 139:4; NIV).

I know every thought that comes into your minds (Ezekiel 11:5; NLT).

He knows the secrets of every heart (Psalm 44:21; NLT).

The LORD’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive (Proverbs 20:27; NLT).

You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).

Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ (Ephesians 4:15; NLT).

Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked (1 Timothy 1:19; NLT). 

The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith (1 Timothy 1:5; NLT).

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4; KJV).

Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear (1 Timothy 1:19; NLT).

 

The shadow self

Ruth Kirk

Introduction
Today’s blog is about the shadow self. This term encompasses all the aspects of ourselves we find so uncomfortable, shameful and unacceptable that we ignore, conceal, or deny them. However, it is essential to find ways of recognising and expressing these hidden aspects, so we can integrate them into a fuller understanding of ourselves (see “Owning your own shadow” by Robert A. Johnson; Harper One: 1991).

My shadow, for example, includes sin, guilt, shame, selfishness, self-pity, depression, irritability, judging, anxiety, fear, resentment, bitterness, anger, insecurity and feeling unwanted. For a long time, I have habitually taken captive my thoughts and feelings along these lines, saying sorry to God as soon as I become aware of them. I then replace them with something more loving, in accordance with Paul’s teaching (2 Corinthians 10:5; NIV). However, until very recently, I have never considered choosing to express them in any other way.

Instead, I generally keep negative feelings and thoughts concealed in my shadow. Unfortunately, this is unhealthy, as these spontaneous aspects of myself are significant aspects of my whole being.

Being honest
Over the last few weeks I’ve begun to grasp the spiritual importance of maintaining a constant awareness of what is happening in my shadow. This enables me to be more honest with myself, with God, and, potentially, with other people.

Of course, I don’t want to simply “act out” the contents of my shadow through impulsive, uncontrolled behaviour. Rather, I want to be in touch with them, so I can choose how to respond. Moreover, if I decide to express them, I want to do so as safely and constructively as possible, for the sake of both others and myself.

Such expression doesn’t necessarily mean voicing my shadow self directly, though occasionally this may be appropriate. Instead, I choose to express my shadow through dance, writing and prayer. Art, music, sports and many other activities can also provide alternative creative outlets.

It won’t go away
Staying in touch with my shadow self and finding safe ways to express it is essential, because ignoring it does not make it go away. Trying to push challenging emotions such as anger, hatred and fear out of awareness leaves them free to create havoc in the unconscious mind. This is how sudden outbursts of exasperation, temper, violence and panic can seem to strike “out of the blue”.

The Psalms
The Psalms offer a healthy example of honouring the shadow by expressing it honestly in prayer, alongside more positive aspects of the self. The writer of Psalm Three, for example, begins by praising God for helping them in the face of their enemies’ threats. The tone remains positive until verse seven, when it changes dramatically, as the author gives vent to the pent-up fear, anger and vengefulness concealed in their shadow:

“Arise, O LORD! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked!” (Psalm 3:7; NLT). 

Once these negative impulses have been fully voiced, the writer is able to finish on a more positive note:

“Victory comes from you, O LORD. May you bless your people” (Psalm 3:8; NLT).

If the writer had sanitised this psalm by omitting the thoughts and emotions hidden in their shadow, it would have been incomplete. This would have made it far less helpful to both themself and their future readers.

Conclusion

The raw, spontaneous truths hidden in our shadow are vital aspects of the self, treasures without which we cannot be complete. To reject them means being out of contact with essential aspects of ourselves.

Learning to integrate the contents of our shadow with our more positive thoughts and emotions is therefore vital for authentic spiritual growth and healing. As Johnson states: “These disowned parts are extremely valuable and cannot be disregarded… To honour and accept one’s shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It is whole-making and thus holy and the most important experience of a lifetime” (Johnson; ibid, pp ix-x).

So now, after that long introduction, here is today’s prayer:

You desire honesty from the womb (Psalm 51:6; NLT).

Lord, 

Thank you for my shadow –
May I face it,
Acknowledging its role
In all I do.

Thank you for my shadow –
May I own it,
So I can choose
To share it all with you.

Thank you for my shadow –
May I love it,
For you desire my honesty,
I know.

Thank you for my shadow –
I embrace it.
Lord, may these secret riches
Help me grow.

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches (Isaiah 45:3; NLT).